When StackOverflow is the only one, who believes in you

Exiting Vim!!

😯😯😯

!rant
400 Nerf bullets just arrived... Office is gonna become a war zone...

JavaScript...

Thanks buddy!

I asked my boss for two macs to work on and I got this. Now I work on two macs.

Programming in a nutshell

No, thank you, you nice little app. If you wanted to call someone to find out the weather, I think I can do it myself.

Are you fucking retarded?

This is a real review for dR

This is by far the best please turn off your Adblock I have ever seen. I actually paused my ad blocker 😂

I got an F on my first Java assignment in high school. I decided to use a List to store stuff as opposed to his method of creating 8 variables and copy-pasting method calls to interact with them. Apparently he doesn't like students using concepts he hadn't taught yet.

FUCK YOU SHITTY FUCKING DICK HEAD!!!.. I'M FUCKING TIRED OF YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT ABOUT "YOU'RE A PROGRAMMER... YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO USE PHOTOSHOP!"... OR "SUCH A SHITTY PROGRAMMER YOU ARE... DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO FIX MY COMPUTER"... OR "CAN YOU MAKE ME AN APP?... IT'S LIKE OTHER APP BUT BETTER, I CAN'T GIVE YOU MORE DETAILS BECAUSE IT'S CONFIDENCIAL, SO YOU GOT TO DO IT WHIT OUT KNOWING WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVE TO DO"... GO TO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A TRUCK FULL OF DONKEYS FUCKING IDIOT!!!... STOP TALKING BULLSHIT AND GET AND FUCKING LIFE YOU ASSHOLE!!!... sorry about my english for those who read

If any programmer tells you that you are number 1 on his life, don't trust him.. most of us start counting from zero. haha

‪I use Linux because I enjoy unexpectedly learning how to mount an encrypted disk after a software update deletes the boot directory... on a Thursday night while other people drink beer.

Not a windows hate rant, just a funny encounter at work.

Was configuring KDE on my work pc and got the windows key to work after a little configuration.

Me: YAY I finally got the windows key to launch the application menu bar thingy!!
Colleague 1 (fellow support engineer): WINDOWS?! Thanks for the ear cancer mate 😞
Colleague 2 (fellow support engineer): Hey stop swearing!
Colleague 3 (senior Linux engineer): *grabs nearest waste bin, pulls it open, puts head in and starts to make vomiting noises* *pulls head out: don't do that again 🤢"*
Colleague 4 (senior Linux engineer): *gives me a death stare for about a minute"

Me: *completely losing it* 🤣

I fucking love this place 😊

Just printed "Hello World", time to put Python on my resume! 😎

Girlfriend = zero productivity!

I like to work at night! When I can hear myself think. Girlfriend is jealous of my code! Argues with me to come to bed and then I lose my inspiration.

Made our wifi password "********" so that when you click "Preview password" you see the same thing. Yes, I have a college degree and yes, that's probably the most clever thing I'll ever be able to do with it.

Too much stupid today..

Client: "Our server is almost full, fix it"

Me: "Okay, you can upgrade the VM, or I can see if theres anything that can be cleaned up?"

C: "Clean it up"

Me: *Finds 5 extra MySQL DB's that amount to 50-60GB in total*

Me: "Well I can remove some of your extra databases, and some of the local backups, as they're also backed up offsite. They're currently unused and dated back to the beginning of 2017, everything is out of date anyways."

C: "No"

Me: "Okay, is there a reason?"

C: "No"

Me: "Okay, so we'll upgrade the VM?"

C: "No"

Me: "I'm sorry, but those are really your two options"

C: "Just fix it"
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What in the ducking fuck !@#$#%?
If you're so fuggin smart, then why do they pay me?
I'm clearly stupid and unable to read your mind.