No, Patrick, Dropbox is not a Version Control System. Google Drive isn't a VCS either.

Best conversation this week:

A: *reporting a visual bug* The text on this page seems to be placed too far to the right, is this intended?

B: No, it's indented.

My co-worker committed his gmail password today.

We need more JS devs for our frontend.
After half a year of PM complaining that he doesn’t find devs, he finally came back to us:
„Sorry guys, I found two devs, but they are not Java developers, they only do JavaScript“
Me:
Team:
*both speechless*
TeamLead: „... wait, you searched for Java devs half a year?“

A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"

Just applied for a position at pornhub. Wish me luck !

Who needs css when you have <table>?

How everyone uses stackoverflow:
1. Work on some project
2. Spot a bug
3. Try to solve the bug and fail.
4. Write a question for SO.
5. Post question on SO.
6. Get the answer and some points.

How I use stackoverflow:
1. Work on some project
2. Find a bug
3. Try to fix the bug and fail
4. Write a question on SO
5. Get scared that I might be downvoted.
6. Spend 45 minutes optimizing the structure of the question.
7. Try additional tests to cover all possible scenarios.
8. Still scared to click post.
9. Scrap everything and restart line by line writing further details of each step in your question.
10. Find the bug myself.
11. Click cancel on the question that took me 3+ hours to write.
12. Cry.

Yesterday my friend was telling me that he was hacking some federal server in my country, and his girlfriend interrupted him and he couldn't complete the hacking

Such a lier 😏
We don't have girlfriends

** The most hilarious authentication implementation I've ever seen **

They stored password in cleartext, but never mind, this is sadly quite common.
For some reasons credentials were also case insensitive (maybe to avoid silly tickets from CAPS LOCK lovers?).

Then I had a look to the query executed during the login:
SELECT * FROM users WHERE username LIKE ? AND password LIKE ?;

So I tried logging in with user "admin" and password "%"... and it worked!
I laughed all the day.

Every computer needs a “cleaning keyboard” mode where the keys would be inactive while you wipe them down

The ability to slap people through tcp/ip.

The moment when a client dumps you for a "cheaper solution" and after a year his site get hacked and calls you to rescue him. Priceless.

"I want a toolbar that..."
Me.
"OH HELL NO!"

>get hired at new company
>so big nobody knows anybody
>buy ancient company swag on ebay and put it at your desk
>everyone thinks you're a ten year

Evil developers on Stackoverflow

Don't you just hate it when you are writing up a report and this happens.. ugh,the frustration!

Latest update for the devRant app has some new twists: 1) collabs are now free for all 2) black theme is available for devRant++ members 3) when posting a rant we now ask for you to classify the rant as a specific type of post. RIP !rant :/ To be clear, this isn't meant to say that any posted content needs to be different than what everyone is doing already, just that the extra categorization helps all parties who like or dislike different types of content. This categorization will help better inform the algo and allow for advanced filtering which is coming soon.

If you have any questions, comments or concerns please ask me or @dfox in this thread.

This is my car.

Story of my life..