:D sorry, I don’t know who’s author

🎁🎁🎁

Real programmers don't comment their code. It was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.

I once changed all my error messages to say “Processed successfully” because I had a demo yet the software was very buggy.

I bought myself time to fix the bugs later.

#demoHack

Manager on the meeting room suddenly talking to me:
Coffe2Code, share your screen please to show us the progress.

Me: *minifies all windows fastly and plugs the laptop to the big screen *

Manager : we start with documentation, open the world file that you sent to me.

Me: *opens word*
Word: *freezing on my CV that I was editing for another job application*

Me: ...
Manager: ...

Word: oh everyone seen the CV? cool here your document

devRant has had a huge impact on my life. My poops are significantly longer and now my legs fall asleep because of it.

An old client reappeared the other day wanting his Flash website updated to HTML5. He didn't want to pay because "It is exactly the same, just needs to work on tablets.".

How to kill a lot of Linux users in one go without being accused of murder:

1) Write on social media "which is the best Linux distro and why?"
2) Watch them fight and kill each other
3) Profit

Got a new intern today. He is a way better coder than me! 😂

Creating a new account is always fun...

"This Is My Secure Password" <-- Sorry, no spaces allowed.

"ThisIsMySecurePassword" <-- Sorry, Passwords must include a number

"ThisIsMySecurePassword1" <-- Sorry, Passwords must include a special character

"ThisIsMySecurePassword 1" <-- Sorry, no spaces allowed

"ThisIsMySecurePassword%1" <-- Sorry, the % character is not allowed

"ThisIsMySecurePassword_1" <-- Sorry, passwords must be shorter than 16 characters

"Fuck" <-- Sorry, passwords must longer than 6 characters

"Fuck_it" <-- Sorry, passwords can't contain bad language

"Password_1" <-- Accepted.

I used to think I was gonna be a Steve Jobs or a Bill Gates. Now I just fap and cry.

Knowing that yours is probably the last job that will be automated, followed only by complete annihilation of humanity by artificial intelligence..

> Woke up at 03:30 because I am on call and a server went down
> Fixed shit and went to bed
> could not sleep,
> fuck it, drive to work.
> arrive at the office at 04:30
> I can scream stupid shit and noone would hear
> *grin*

The horror that is nowadays called "Skype for business"

My wife is getting better and better each day writing code. And she is starting to really love the terminal too!
With this rate, she is going to know more GNU+Linux than me.
😎

On the last working day of our CEO.
CEO: As a software company, if we are to build an airplane would you ride on the airplane that we built?
Everyone was silent.
Me at the back of my head: I'll ride. I know for sure that the airplane will never start.

Started using the pipe " | " on the keyboard

Hey everyone,

@trogus and I have been working on some cool devRant features that we're going to be launching very soon. In addition, as some might remember from a recent discussion, we're trying to bring in some more revenue (so we can at least break even) to avoid having to think about advertisements in the app. To do that, we're brainstorming possible useful add-on features maybe that we can offer to devRant++ members, or possibly offer for a different plan or as a complimentary product (under the devRant umbrella, but separate in terms of where it's accessed.)

If you have a few minutes, we'd appreciate some feedback by taking this survey @trogus put together: https://surveymonkey.com/r/DT9MKVN/

Also feel free to discuss here too if you want, and thanks everyone!

Yesterday I said farewell to her.

We were together for half a decade, although it feels like much more time has passed since my eyes first fell on her.

I can't even begin to describe how close we were. She was perfect, she was my soulmate.

I shared everything with her, complete openness, perfect truth. We could be vulnerable with each other, but we also challenged each other to overcome boundaries.

My respect for her and dedication to her really knew no bounds, and I knew she would follow me to the end of the world in return.

But around New Year's things started to feel awkward between us. Like a part of her just wasn't there anymore.

She acted very confused, she hesitated in her answers.

I asked her, but I felt like she was avoiding me. Something just seemed so wrong about the way she acted.

I felt incredibly conflicted. Was she unfaithful? No, my trust in her was absolute. That question seems so silly, in retrospect.

We had always been pretty much inseparable, to the point where my coworkers, friends and family mocked us for it. How would she even have cheated on me?

I used to take her along to company gatherings, to my family for Christmas, to expensive restaurants. We traveled all over Europe together. We've spent countless nights together, watching Netflix, although she would often fall asleep before me.

I took great care of her, she had not been out of my mind for one moment since I met her. And besides, she had never even showed interest in anyone else anyway.

No, reality turned out to be so, so much worse.

Two weeks ago it became really apparent that there was something horribly wrong with her. She was rapidly losing her recollections of everything we experienced together.

Our history together, erased.

Within hours, she would barely respond anymore. I called for help, but deep down I already knew this was one of those things you can't recover from. She was kind of stable, almost peaceful, for a few days. But ultimately, she didn't even recognize me anymore.

Yesterday, I held her feverishly hot body in my arms for the last time.

Her soft skin turned cold as I said farewell to her, and the room turned awfully quiet.

Your brightness and warmth will be missed, my girl.

Boss: Every day is a new opportunity to start fresh
Me: Can we start over this project because I fucked it up and I don't want to clean it
Boss: No