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My boss likes to measure the spacing between DOM elements using a ruler to make sure everything is proportional.
I forgot to remove some padding on an element so it wasn't exactly centered, so he comes in and says...
"the padding on the site is off, I think you need to use this" *drops ruler on desk*
Now I have to keep this stupid ruler on my desk because whenever I forget to align something he says... "that's why I gave you the ruler"
Too difficult to explain to these subhumans that I don't need a ruler to write proper css8 -
Computer Science is a mysterious world of three kinds of devs, irrespective of what background/profile/language they had/worked in.
The ones at the top, who keep doing crazy shit in big companies or open-source and keep adding material to the unstoppable code flowing. These constitute 5% of the dev community.
The ones at the bottom are the newbies who try to become masters/ninjas of programming by following the shit on the internet but don't understand logic or how things work. This is like 75% of dev community on the web. If you don't agree to that percentage, you don't know the number of students and non-CS people trying to code. I can see hundreds of classmates/colleagues with no understanding of basic Javascript concepts but introducing themselves as a software developer and ruler of the Web.
The remaining 15% in the middle are the "experienced" fellows who keep building shit to get to the top 5%. They work on enterprise/commercial software until the next upgrade and while the wallets keep getting fatter, they don't actually contribute to the community.
This is the part where I want people to understand the power of a dev.
What sets apart programmers/devs from other engineers:
while everyone else is busy solving the current issues/requirements of the world, we devs are the ones who 'build'.
With a right motive, a developer can solve in-numerous problems of the society, be it education, poverty or unemployment.
An experiment by Lee to put data on the web created a world of unforeseeable opportunities.
Hope to see more of Musks and less of Zuckerbergs in the future.9 -
Why do people say "Well, I don't know about that" to voice disagreement?
If you admit your own naivety on a subject compared to your peers, if you admit that you do not have the required knowledge to have formed an opinion, how can you disagree?
So it can either be expressed with genuine innocence, like 'Well, I don't know about that, tell me more!', which is never the case.
Or it means "Well I don't know anything about that... and I'm ashamed of the fact that I can't find any counter argument, so I refuse to trust your fucking expertise, shut the fuck up until I give you the right to voice your knowledge"
Which is a bit rude.
Now that we're on the topic of annoying expressions and platitudes...
"It's not rocket science" -- Rocket science, understanding how a rocket works, is surprisingly simple. You fill a cylinder with fuel and oxygen, add a pump or two, put some sparks underneath. Chemical reaction equals energy, direct energetic particles using a nozzle, Newton's first law does the rest. It's so simple that people don't actually study rocket science. They study aerospace engineering, or astrodynamics, which are difficult topics.
So if someone says "Devops is not rocket science", they're right, but for the wrong reason. It's actually harder than rocket science. Maybe easier than developing thermal protection system materials or solving n-body orbital problems with a slide ruler though.
"Great minds think alike" -- No, great minds actually think creatively and generate unique thoughts, if two minds think alike, the solution was just fucking obvious.
"Don't reinvent the wheel" -- First of all, pretty much nothing in code looks or even remotely functions like a simple wheel. Even metaphorically, all existing code equates to oval or square wheels. If you said "Hey, don't bother making better wheels, I like my ride to be bumpy because it stimulates my asshole", say no more, who am I to come between a product manager and their anal stimulation.
Anyway, those were four coworkers who I would've strangled with an Ethernet cable if it weren't for a certain pandemic and the risk of infection which comes with choke-coughing.
What are your linguistic pet peeves you get homicidal over?23 -
me : Why are fire trucks red?
Bot : Because they have eight wheels and four people on them, and four plus eight is twelve, and there are twelve inches in a foot, and one foot is a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship, and the ship sailed the seas, and in the seas are fish, and fish have fins, and the Finns fought the Russians, and the Russians are red, and fire trucks are always "russian" around.(according to the Monty Pythonesque application of the principles of logic and etymology)
😳😳😳6 -
I was once asked to find a way to find the centre of gravity of a coke bottle. As soon as I started mentioning string, ruler etc., the interviewer told me I have nothing else, only the coke bottle..10
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Working with a client on his "superior idea" and suddenly this happens: (longer rant)
tl;dr;
Client wanted me to move a div by 3 millimetres to the left and blamed me for not being capable of doing so while giving him a nonsense about different resolutions and screen sizes. (Use a ruler, DUH)
Me: Here's the updated design layout as our designer specified.
Him: Looks good but it needs to be moved 3 millimetres to the left
Me: *Confused as hell* - Wait, did you just said 3 millimetres?
Him: Yes, is that a problem for you?
Me: *Amazed* Well, yes, you see, we don't measure in millimetres. We use pixels.
Him: Ahh, can't you do anything right!? Why do I have to deal with your nonsense of telling me that this is not impossible? Just take your god damn ruler and put it on your screen, then move it 3 millimetres to the left.
Me: You do realise that every person has a different size/resolution monitor so it won't work?
Him: I don't care. Just do your god damn job or i'll find someone else to do it.
*
Story continued in such manner - we spent an hour on skype moving the stupid <div> around until it hit his 3 millimetres mark.
*
His: See, you could do it.
Me: *Sends him screenshot of my own screen (his was 1024x768, mine 1920x1080) where page is broken and not aligned*
Him: Oh come on, you break every god damn thing. You are the worst. I'm going to find a better one. *hangs skype call*
Him: *3 days later* Hi, so, umm, I've talked to other developers and they said it's impossible to measure in millimetres. Can you revert those changes we did?
After all this I've fully realised that this person is sits at computer very rarely and does not how it even works...5 -
Pretty much right now. I'm seething, just thinking about going to work in a few short hours.
I work for a company that doesn't respect me. A fucking simpleton designer who can do no wrong has changed everything about a project that I'm responsible for, hundreds of times. She gets out a ruler (yes, really), measures stuff against her little mockups (that are also prone to changing without notice), and screams when things don't precisely match her "designs" on every single device she can get her goddamned hands on. She's changed everything except the deadline. I have gotten none of the recognition and all of the blame, and I'm completely over it. This is nothing new. In addition to being a dev team of one, I also found out that I'm the third such person in my company's employ in the last two years, and I've worked here for one.
The final straw was when I was given a schedule for the next project, which I had not been consulted on. It was a printout of an email. Copied in the email was the designer, my boss, and an intern. A FUCKING GOD DAMNED HOURLY INTERN.
Fast forward one week.
I'm in third stage interviews with half a dozen companies right now, second stage interviews with at least that many. When I do get another job, I was originally going to give notice, but I think now I'll just give my boss a printout of an email to the interns and walk out.
Shove the internet up your ass, you fucking fucks2 -
Okay, so today I've taught a colleague how to use a simple office ruler to measure AWS server's CPU usage :) We needed to figure out whether CPU% spikes correlate with error message in logs an d latency spikes. Once again a ruler was the perfect tool for the job.
P.S. no, CPU% spikes did not correlate to errors in logs1 -
Well I dont have any worst teacher, I have been the teacher more than the student but I have a related.
Had economics last year of the equivalent to college.
We should find the optimal volume of products between 2 products requiring the same parts in different amounts.
Simple crossing point of two straight lines.
He failed our solutions because we did not draw a diagram.
Turns out he did not know of the straight line equation and did not understand how we got the solution without measuring with a ruler!4 -
After 12 years, I finally understood why I liked Dishonored so much. It's basically steampunk Half-Life 2. Let's see:
1. Ominous figure choosing us for a special mission (gman vs. the outsider)
2. A LOT of urban platforming
3. The crisis times; a tyrant is chosen as a temporary ruler
4. Alien-looking structures all over the old city
5. Zombies
Name more!7 -
What are your thoughts about Elon Musk, is he really worried about AI or is this just a business strategy ? I mean I am a huge fan, love his work, but he wants to be the ruler and saver of the Universe.13
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My Boss Abuses me, should I leave my job?
I overheard this tidbit on a bus recently. Okay I'm lying. But in the great spans of
time I've spent reading "dear annie" type articles, many involving how often my meth head step dads beat me while growing up, or in turn how often *I* beat me (oh yeah)..I've come across this in one form another, this, and other dumbfuck questions from the stuttering meek and halfhearted.
They say there are no dumb questions. Well, like that guy who smoked too much weed and
asked "what is the sound of one hand clapping?" (fap fap fap), there are in fact dumb questions.The world is overflowing with them, like a clogged shitter full of tacobell and glitter covered brown gutter wisdom. And it smells like roses, if roses smelled like shit.
Questions like "How do I make sure my cats don't feel lonely once I have my first child?"
I don't know, they're fucking cats. Did you even google this before asking?
Or
"How to make spaghetti?"
Really, is this question written by a bot?
"What is the best javascript framework in year x?"
All of them and none of them. Welcome to hell.
"Whats your favorite color?"
My answer: I'm not five years old any more. And obviously you are. Why are you on this site instead of eating crayons at daycare?
Yes indeed, this and many more dumbfuck questions await you and can be found on the preeminent quora, amongst other sites.
A place, which censored an eminently reasonable answer of mine (I was totally not being a shithead btw).
I responded in kind by removing a whole mess of long form answers of mine.
What I have learned from the experience is this: Humanity is greatly comprised of many people who, having no brains to speak of, wander aimlessly like beasts of the field, glass eyed and slack jawed, in search of a savior. But their savior came a long time ago, once, and many times before. An engineer, or programmer, or perhaps in another reincarnation a guy parting a sea of koolaid after the local ruler swindled his peeps out of another payment for moving some heavy ass stone blocks, but I digress.
And in response to peoples worries, anxieties, everyday problems and concerns, every one of these would be wiseman, every one of these saviors, leaders, and great men spoke these magic words which resonate now down through the ages like the voice of reason and providence:
"Read the FUCKING manual."
"And don't bother me again asshole." (well this last bit is all me, but I'm sure others said it too.)2 -
I recently got reminded: The new snipping tool for windows is great! But what the hell is the deal with that ruler? The vast majority of the time when I draw lines or highlight stuff on a snipped picture I want to draw straight lines. But this is only possible by clicking the ruler button, aligning the "physical" ruler that appears and then drawing the line along it. It's like someone really wanted the snipping tool to convey the feeling of sitting by your desk with pen, paper and scissors. Am I missing something?8
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Guess it's a sign you haven't had enough sleep when you're creating a slanted div and it looks curved so you compare with a ruler to be sure and it is in fact straight.1
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In the kingdom of aws reigns the Owner of Products.
In his court many a vassal noble (or a "sre" as they are often called) delivers their tribute.
Wise ministers (called "analysts" in these here parts) advice the Owner of Products on how to instruct his sres and where to lead the kingdom.
Needless to say, in the court the blabber is endless and the egos of the courtiers, deservedly or not, are even larger.
But there is but one member of the court, leader of none but master of japes, who dares to mock not just the courtiers, but even the Owner of Products.
Tester the Jester, from the houses of Operations Research and Quality Assurance.
There is a unique relationship between a ruler and his jester. The jester mocks the ruler, with the most outlandish of propositions, with the most malicious interpretations of the ruler's orders, evidencing the most absurd (but mathematically viable) results of a plan.
The jester makes ridicule of the ruler's edicts... so that the Owner of Products may remain humble, without need to defer to any upstart courtier.
And, in a more subtile manner, the jester prevents any courtier from maliciously complying with the edicts of the ruler.
For all in the court have heard how the lowest among them voiced the preposterous interpretation... And dare not show themselves to be even lower.
TL;DR had an all-hands meeting of tech leaders with the allmighty PO. In the meeting there is this bloke who apparently spends all his time just fucking with the bigwigs' ideas. Dude is a department of one. It seems that his whole job is being an outlandish scenario simulator & sarcasm artist. I now have way more respect for this place. -
!rant
For a project we have to formulate political viewpoints and laws about digitalisation. It's not for a computerscience class, but for a additional class on politics. We have to formulate laws or guidlines/goals for the politicians to work towards in regards to "digitalisation" for the society/country we would like to live in.
For example stuff like "there should be net neutrality to guarantee free information and equal oportunities for all" and such stuff or "programing should be taught in school to prepare people for the economy of tomorrow" so it isn't limited to anything.
If you where a kind of king/ruler/what ever, what policy (in regard to "digitalisation") would you define and why? (Note: they doesn't have to be realistic for now. They shouldn't end in a dystopian future, but in a "better" future for all of humanity.)
What I thought of so far would be:
- Government use and promote Opensource and practice Opendata
- strong rights to privacy, you can request your data and demand it being deleted
- basic programing/IT education in school
- "reschool" program for people currently in the workforce that want to learn new things
- develope a policy on AI
- promote that Computer Science isn't just for boys but for every one
- less working hours per week due to automatisation/splitting the work among the whole population/basic income
*yes I'm lazy, thanks for doing part of my project ;)1 -
I need your help guys...My company wants to save money on buying Photoshop licence and use Gimp instead. We only need some of the features, and most of them are achievable with Gimp so that's not a problem. The issue is that the tool that is mostly used is the Ruler with it's Straghten option. Doing it with Rotate tool in Gimp is a huge pain in the ass and it decreases productivity. Is there any way to get this Ruler>Straighten like combo in Gimp? Or any other tool?
Thanks12 -
I had to make a ruler grid for an existing horizontal scroll website project, but I had the job basically for sure.
I came up with a solution which included PHP-generated SVG embedded in HTML.
It was a new thing to me at that time, but a cool challenge.
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