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(overheard parents talking)
Mum: I'm worried about our son, I guess he was hacking today
Dad: What? [Chuckle] No. He's not that grown up enough. Prolly programming.
Mum: But, the screen was all blue and there was nothing but text on it. And then suddenly it went blank. So, I asked him what he was doing and he said it was a BSOD. That sounds scary NSA level stuff.
Dad: it isn't [came out of the room, saw me there]
(And we laughed and laughed and laughed)5 -
(\____/)
( ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡°)
\╭☞ \╭☞
week 119
@dfox way to convince people for clean their desk
I hope everyone's wife / mom is feeling proud.
ʘ‿ʘ8 -
That moment when u created a project and quite some folks forked it and continued their own versions, but then you realised that you've made a little mistake back then so now your dumb code propagated across humanity.
¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯2 -
Yesterday I stayed at home sick. Had a bad case of the EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA FROM HELL. Was feeling ok but could not walk away from me throne.
Went in today cuz the lead was not gonna be there and shit always breaks on Freyja's day as we all know.
1 and a half hours before we clock out and go home someone calls saying that students are trying to drop from classes at the last minute and our app ain't doing it.
I "fixed" the app last week and ran a small login test. It work so I thought it was fine. Stupid me for making unprofessional and retarded assumptions.
Manager freaks out. The entire school freaks out. Coworker lols cuz he ain't got to work on it. I start mind debugging the entire bitcheridoo.
45 minutes later...and I was able to successfully go through almost 15k lines of code of php/html/js code and fucking FIXED it with tests and all for real.
Went at it hard. Babe ass manager was like 0.0 and then (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Called head office and told them everything was undr control.
Dropped the phone like a mic. Mic drop.
Then I looked at manager and coworker and said "ya I fucked up, but I am still the king"
Both nodded in agreement.
Everyone got wet with my sheer awesome troubleshooting php master skills.
Got home thinking about how boss I am.
Fucking Texas af b. Can't touch this heat. The rangers still suck and so do the cowboys. The astros and the texans don't exist because there is only room for one. Go spurs.
Still have diarrhea.
Fuck yeah.8 -
When I Install An NPM Package .........
1.Runned The Install...
2.Watched the Progress Bar For 2secs
3.Got Bored, Opened Chrome for some entertaining content ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
4.Rechecked the Install after 20mins still 15%
5.Did take a break, ate something
6.Rechecked still 27%
7.Watched a little while the progress bar until I saw the Fatality.
CMD Has Stopped Working...10 -
Best exp:
( ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡°)
\╭☞ \╭☞ learning python and working with big data
Worst one:
(╯°□°）╯︵ learning php and visiting classes of programming at my college1 -
I love it to maintain old unit tests which were not executed for about 5 years. 2/197 are green (╯ ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)╯┻━┻4
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Recently, my CS teacher proudly bragged about how, to this day, no pupil has ever had WiFi Access to the school network (only teachers have access).
What a naive teacher he is ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)5 -
Why the Fuck I keep forgetting human names and keep replacing it with variable .........???
Apparently Jessica is var1
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
┴┬┴┤( ͡° ͜ʖ├┬┴┬
( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)
:＜￣｀ヽ、 ／￣＞
ゝ、 ＼ ／⌒ヽ,ノ /´
ゝ、 `（ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ／
> ,ノ
∠_,,,/´”2 -
I wish it was more acceptable to leave a job every 2 or 3 years. I like seeing how different developers work and learning from more than just the same 5 people everyday.3
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After reading some rants abut stupid project managers I remembered this situation that happened to me a decade ago.
One of the tasks was to move some html component to different place on the page. The whole page was a mix trs and tds and to achieve that I had to rewrite the whole page structure. I estimated around half a day to complete that task. It was my first job and I was not great back then, but still it was reasonable amount for this task.
Now lets introduce my PM : the guy was a complete tool. He was a former hardware store manager ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and had no idea what we were doing.
He started ranting how on earth such simple task can takes so much time. I started explaining myself, but he wasn't listening. Instead he started sharing his screen, he made a screenshot of the page, pasted it to the ms paint, cut the component, and moved it to desired place. Then he said : It took me like 10 sec to complete the task and I have no experience, maybe I will replace you?
I was speechless. I had no words and I just kept silence.
Then he said he would reassign this task to X, because he is competent.
X spend more then 4 hours and I heard no apologies.6 -
Y'know, up until now, everyone was just bragging about who has the most ++s... (I'm kidding, that didn't really happen... I think...?)
But now that we have ++s in binary, we can literally brag about who has the LONGEST... string of ++s.
Not... something else. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Oh well, size doesn't matter anyway.
Happy Easter/April Fools! °u°2 -
What are you guys doing against brute force attacks on your login webpages? I don't want anybody to access my porn ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). But I don't want to block the useraccount because that would be annoying because you could simple lock a user out of his account :/ any suggestions? What are you doing on your sites?11
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Now that my math posts have failed to garner the anger they formerly did, we here at Wisecrack Studios, like all teams of people completely out of ideas, have come up with a brilliant never-before-tried concept to bring fresh shitposts to your pocket-telescreen this fine year of 2020.
We present to you the DevRant shitposter census!
Yes we pride ourselves in our quality bait and bullshit here at WS. Founded in [previous year a long long time ago], we focus on craftmanship, tradition, and doing it right. Our bait is loved the world over for "it's fresh flavor", "so good, it's like you're abusing heroin right along with the company employees!'
And now, you too get to participate and choose your very own bullshit!
You could say we may have invented a totally new word just to describe it: crowdsourcing!
Isn't it just *brilliant*.
Here is Wisecrack's "Private Select" census, of only the most choice *premium* finely-aged shitpost ideas for this [current year].
Please, please, one vote per customer!
* Moar javascript shitposts (no we won't be doing any more, even WE are tired of js rants).
* Overly pixelated memes (obviously not) blatantly ripped and automatically uploaded via shitty selenium scripts
* Real life hijinxs, trolling shitty companies hiring processes for fun at their expense!
* DevRantCon now with 100% more orgies. Reserve your kickstarter ticket today.
* Disappointing vaporware announcements that take ten minutes to read and build your excitement up only to crush it before your very eyes like a child's first lego build in the hands of an angry nd merciless andre the giant disappointed by the craftmanship of a five year old.
* A livestream of a monkey on an actual typewriter, with a btc betting pool each time an actual word is typed, along with a $5 "shock the monkey" button to spice things up a bit
(our lawyers are informing us this may or may not be illegal in some or all nations. We'll get back to you when sealand responds with our request about their laws on unnecessary animal cruelty. )
* Video conference with devrants creators where we all play "I've never" that doesn't end until at least one person passes out black drunk.
* Weekly comedy write ups with jokes (not obviously) blatantly stolen from cards against humanity
* HipsterRants: why your favorite [thing - game, music, movie, book] sucks, and why I hate you for liking it.
* Did we mention javascript rants?
* Cool new projects by devranters and our merciless breakdown of why each one is pure, unadulterated shit, everything that was done wrong, and why you should personally be ashamed for using it.
* SadRants: cancer, meth abuse, homelessness, how we'll all die at the end, and how the sun will one day turn into a giant ball of fire that will consume the earth and leave no trace that anyone ever existed, and nothing we do will ultimately matter.
* HappyRants: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) oh yeah, you feeling it now mr krabs?
* Technical breakdowns that are completely wrong, utterly incompetent, intentionally misleading, and wildly upvoted by people who are unfamiliar.
Vote for your favorite topic/idea today! or even submit your own for our 'consideration'!
Clickbait, now in technicolor!8 -
C:
char greeting[] = "Hello world";
Developers: char array... What da f*CK!
C++
... Okay.
std::string,
std::string_view,
char*,
std::wstring,
hstring,
qstring...
How about now? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)5 -
When you're tired, hungry and working all night on your final coding project for compsci 101.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
https://twitter.com/tofonion/...
3 -
Never realized how often I use rubber duck debugging until I learned there was a name for it ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°1
-
FFS THIS SHIT ALWAYS HAPPENS
i got a cool idea i wanted to start working on with some friends maybe open source project ... (i like to think my ideas are cool ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) i do some research reading and i find something close or the exact same shit i was thinking about already in Kickstarter 😒😒😒😒4 -
!rant
What font size do you normally use for programming?
I've been using 12-14px for years, but I switched to 16px for the last couple of hours. Feels weird but I kinda like it.
Sure, you do lose some real estate but it feels like it's way easier for the eyes. Less physical strain == less mental strain, which in turn makes for higher quality code.
Also, selecting stuff is more satisfying, but that's probably just me since I'm weird ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Any thoughts?4 -
I have started reading The Phoenix Project and I suspect that story is based on current situation in company I work for ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
-
!rant
Random prank idea:
Change all the semicolons to Greek question marks(alt + 037e), watch their entire world crashing down
(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)1 -
Currently our team is in a cycle of blaming the PO (indirectly) & feeling bad about it. He's really a nice guy and is doing his best! (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞
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