Found this on the internet

Found this on the internet

So, I found this on the internet

This got me thinking

All y'all CSS and frontend folks. Looks like IE8 issues can wait.

How do we deal with this??

And here I am creeped the fuck out by Google (as always) suggesting me to take photos of the bakery I'm at while having location and WiFi turned off :)

!firstRant

Can anyone relate to the fact that before you disturb your co-worker with an issue you should ATLEAST try fucking google?
Not to mention the documentation, stackoverflow, msdn, forums. Hell, once, I found the answer I needed on a freaking bakery forum.

I will open Bakery...
<The Retaired Developers Bakery />

The other day, one of my cousin purchased a POS software for his bakery. He wanted me to look at it. Being curious, I did and found out that software was a decade old using MS Access as DB. He wanted couple of changes in the system and I did those in few mins.

Once I was done, he kept starring me like he never believed I could do that.

Moral: Your relatives never consider you a good programmer :-/

What the fuck has one of my clients been up to?! Every request he makes he suggests we might want to do it via a function.

"We need to ensure this is password protected. Maybe wrap the calls in a function."

I wander if he goes into the bakery and says, "I need a loaf of bread---use flour."

All I can think of is that someone influential in his life is an FP zealot and he's latched onto this word.

But, I quite like FP. Maybe I'll refactor everything to static classes to meet the requirement.

Hope to Christ he doesn't find out about HTML, etc. "Maybe add a CSS rule."

how to bully interns.

intern: where is the bath room.

me: take the stairs to the first floor, across the street you will see corner bakery there is a bathroom there.

the intern literally followed my instructions. whereas we are in 10th floor and we have an elevator.

I think he is a computer

I was assigned a ticket which was about a drop down menu which was not aligning properly.

Turns out the drop-down was positioned absolutely and my co-worker (read bestie) had written media query for every 10 pixels to match the position for mobile and desktop devices (from 320px to 1040px and beyond ~150 lines for a drop-down). No one noticed any flaw for few weeks until one of the QA had to check the site in landscape mode on mobile device.

I replaced it with 4 lines of JavaScript.

The down sides of living in a third world country, the prices of things { especially electronics } are so damn expensive. I love my country and all but hey this is really unaffordable.

To give you an idea, I work for 40 hours a week, four weeks a month and earn around 25,000 rupees.

Sometimes I just watch videos on YouTube of people building things and feel happy for them.

Nothing else can describe my life more accurately!

When you fix your mates PC and upgrade windows on it and month later he comes back because his scanner is really slow, his wife doesn't understand English anymore and cat decided to leave his cat life to become full time florist at local bakery shop.

Had a longer talk with a friend today.

Acquaintances of theirs were at a restaurant (!) a few days ago, complaining about how much they paid for breakfast buffet. Their rant went on how the restaurant didn't even include coffee in the breakfast buffet.

I know this restaurant. I really like it there. They roast their own coffee in the back. They have a transparent bakery with spelt flour, from certified organic farming. They support the regional farmers, even the meat for the cold cuts etc comes from a local butcher, livestock is from regional free range farming.

If you wanna know what's wrong with customers, that's the prime example.

Not only didn't they bother at all to look at the menu... They ignored at all what they paid for. Just stuffed themselves without any thought at all.

Then they wondered why the price was so high.

Of course, high price = bad, so they rant everywhere what a bad restaurant they visited.

It just made me so fucking angry, cause that's the same shit I have to deal every day with. Not giving a damn, not reading any information at all - but spouting nonsense and foul mouthing everything is okay.

Fuck those kinds of humans.

Top 3 times:
1) When I amazed myself by solving a problem using recursion.

2) When I taught myself how to make my a restful api and consumed it using Ajax.

3) When I converted a psd in to a responsive pixel perfect webpage.

Writing code makes me feel I am worth something in this world.

Swithced to Ubuntu, this is my first ever OS outside of windows. Man I am loving this shit.

Bought my laptop with windows 8, was working like charm and then came windows 10, I updated it and it was working fine untill they started releasing the patch updates. My laptop became slow as fuck, taking forever to boot and bitch was I afraid to connect to my wifi fearing the background data consumption and the antivirus clogging the ram.

I am free now, I am finally free. I am ready suck the developer's dick just to please him for this masterpiece and helping me get out of this misery.

What music do you listen to when you code? Also, can you please recommend some. Music with minimal to no wording is what interests me. Any suggestions would be appreciated:)

1) That loud ass mother fucker sitting besides me, shut the fuck up.

2) Air motherfucking condition turned all the way to the max makes me horny and want to fuck your motherboard.

3) Illiterate assholes writing code without any comments and half assed function name just to look cool when we approach them for doubts.

4) Onsite motherfuckers enjoying their lives, taking photos of it and posting it in a monthly magazine while we s(h)it behind the fucking systems all day.

Thank-fucking-you, y'all can die suffocating in your own smelly dierraea poop.

So, I was shopping with @terrus and we found this lost duck in the bakery shelf. We felt it was a call of fate... Obviously, we bought two of them 🦆🦆❤️

i went to my college bakery and i bought a sandwich (costs 140) and ultra energy drink (costs 90) in my currency

i extend my hand with money and the woman takes a calculator and types with one finger 1 4 0 + 9 0 = and says "230"

So this just happened,

Me and my co-worker (we are junior developers) were working on the same bug, it was a post call throwing a server exception.

We had asked for help to debug this issue from a senior developer the day before, he was quite busy with his own tasks.

He is one those kinds who would keep working even if the entire bay is wasting their time, always keeping to himself, needless to say I haven't seen him smile.

Back to my story, he couldn't spare time yesterday so we tried to squash the bug ourselves thinking he might have forgotten we had called him.He then comes out of nowhere, he firsr checks the button bindings, params sent and the call being made.

He then went through the backend code strategically placing the break points, clicks and debugs a few times and then opens the console. BAM!!!!

" D' hell yo !!" Shows up in the console, not just once but multiple times. Turns out I forgot the logger I had placed in the catch block.

He turns to me in super slo-mo looks me in the eye and whispers "what the hell yo!" and kept quite for some time, meanwhile the sense of cringe was slowly creeping on me. That was when he let out a loud blurt and the entire cabin turned to us. Needless to say it was awkward.

His smile was creepy though :/

Today, a freelance javascript developer at my office told me that he designed a new website for one of his customers. I was intrigued that he is also designing and was very interested.

He showed me some images and I asked how he designed it. I thought he would come up with Figma, Sketch or whatever software, but he showed me the AI prompt.

I told him that he did not design it, but AI did that, prompting AI is not designing. He did not agree and rephrased it as "I made this".

After I said "But if I go to a bakery and ask for a cake with some nice decorations, and the baker is making that, I did not make the cake". He angry said, "You don't understand AI," and put his earplugs in and isn't talking to me since.

Prompting an AI is not creating. The AI/computing power with it's context is creating your stuff..

We all know this one co-worker who is an dumb askhole

Was at a Saturn (tech store) a while ago, just in the area and browsing a bit, and then this: (see image, thanks C0D4)

This sort of shit happens all the time around here.

There was also my local Karlchens Backstube (bakery and café) where the drive-thru display had a green screen of death; I don't know why they used an insider build of windows. Or windows in general for a fucking DISPLAY SIGN. A FUCKING DISPLAY SIGN WITH JUST A STATIC IMAGE DISPLAYED.
(Image not revant)

Rant over.
Fucking hell.

I regret moving to backend. I loved the days when I used to write lines of code and refresh my browser for the changes to be displayed on the screen. I loved seeing the output of my code, the code flow, the light weight text editor, the visual satisfaction and the chrome debugger.

Now I am fucked up, I am working on creating microservices for restful api. I am hating everything about it. The fact that I should compile the entire war, manually copy them to a webapp folder, restart my tomcat and wait for 5 minutes just to see my code, and the text editors are just a pain in the ass, the debugger sucks too.

I was so looking forward to being a backend Dev because I thought Java was cool and I also was fedup with cross browser optimizations on the front end. Now I would gladly write a streaming service foe ie6. Spring has fucked me up so hard

God save me from this mess.

Look who is here!!
First of all, when was it ever stable and I can bet nightmare for front end developer has just begun.

!dev
People these days...
At a bakery 3 girls didn't bother to clean up after themselves although the only thing left to do was to t aske the tray and dump it's contents into the trash can WHICH IS ON THEIR WAY OUT. Yeah but have enough time to cake on rediculous amounts of makeup...

Someone literally shat at the tram stop at the main station so whenever took leave the tram you might just step into it.

Then there are always those religious people trying to hand out pamplets about how great their religion is and how much it is helping- they stand right next to a crippled homeless begger.

Just wow.

Took a day off and came back to find my team and I were moved from frontend to backend (which I always wanted to be).

Manager says we get to learn Java, Mongodb and even Hadoop.

I am so so excited.

But the only little hold back is, there is limited support for Java in sublime text and I should instead use eclipse. I had dozens of shortcuts customised with all those beautiful themes in sublime, but eclipse takes the fun out of coding(no offense to eclipse lovers).

My 2tb portable external hard disk is messed up :( . The disk isn't spinning. It is under warranty but I am so depressed.

As an interviewer or a senior software engineer who would want to hire someone new to your team, would you expect a person with a solid grasp of algorithms or a person who has good experience in the stack you are using? If both, what would be your priority?

16 hours. my friend and i developed a game years ago, so we met every friday at 5pm after regular work. on saturday at 9 i went to the bakery to bring breakfast for my girlfriend. best three years of my life.

Job description of an internship. They want me to know react framework in Java. I am going to apply anyway coz i'm desperate for a job.

Including jQuery everywhere even if the size of my code is lesser than size of the plug-in itself.

I'm tired of taking breaks, only to find bugs IRL.

I draw the line at my grapes throwing an exception!

Debugging the crane game app, my ISPs aggro DHCPv6 query vs their WAN6 scripting and the label printer at Quest Labs was annoying enough.

I don't even know how to tag this.

A day ago I tried ordering a coffee and doughnut on Doordash. I thought, I must be too tired/missing something. Dunkin' Donuts didn't have doughnuts on the menu, despite the header of "Donuts and Bakery", I called them... A few minutes later the reason was found. Their PoS system upgraded, changing the formatting of the doughnut options so a minor bug caused it to show as fully updated, despite actually disabling the doughnut menu options... today it's the weirdest, possibly inappropriate-looking, grape I've ever seen... and I grow 5 varieties of grapes. Maybe if I get drunk enough(wine?) later, I'll be able to not debug or re-engineer anything for a few hours.

Any suggestions on how to stop iterating through a debugging loop IRL 24/7 is certainly welcolmed.

Now, wtf do I do with this, mildy disturbing, grape?

Vocabulary for the day.

Screed - An abusive rant is called a Screed.

Usage - I'mma screed the shit outta dem pathetic species of blood sucking parasites AKA dickhead project managers who do dem (developerEstimatedTime/2) quick maths.

Fuck you

horror stories from my old job: we had to ask to get the internet 'turned on' (of course only for a short period of time), you had to disable loading images, because otherwise you'd have to wait for fucking EVER til you could safely move your mouse and: Google had a massive lag when you scrolled. let me repeat that: GOOGLE. LAGGED. I didn't even know that was fucking possible! and the worst part: my old job was at a software dev company. not a shitty IT department at -I don't know- a bakery?! I mean, wtf?! and it wasn't even a start up. and they still exist! how? why?! I'm still not sure how I managed to work there for five months...

Was really motivated and started out with Android development.

Android studio is sick as fuck.I am struck in the second step.The only solution I can find is "try restarting your system".

Like wtf arrrgh!!

After gazillion times of restarts later. Finally, I am giving up.

Thank you google, now go f*ck yourself.

What's the favourite bakery product of a JavaScript developer?

NaN bread

Telling a web developer to use Divi, WP Bakery, or any similar WordPress page builder is like forcing a plumber to use your little kid's kindergarten toy tools to rebuild your bathroom.

Those tools don't even work! Divi: "your save has failed". Bakery: saving an element's styles will randomly mess up the whole WYSIWYG page preview. Gutenberg: you can write HTML, but I won't accept it. Let's attempt block recovery so I can destroy it completely.

It feels like trying to use PowerPoint to develop a website. Who's the target audience of this kind of crapware and how are they supposed to use it?

It was in the bakery of my dad, where we always could play this mini golf game on his IBM PC. I think it was on Win95.

I was a frontend developer, and I am new to hadoop or anything related to big data.
I am currently working as a Hadoop developer and I get to work on one of existing codebase also I am trying to recollect Java which I learnt during college.

Can u please provide me any inputs on how to get started with Hadoop, a personal view point on scope and future of Hadoop. A rough time span of how long it took for you to get out of the noob zone.

If you could provide me with a good tutorial or blog that would be awesome.

Thanks in advance

I have always wanted to be a writer. I just pirated Dan Brown's origin and immediately felt bad. suddenly I got this feeling, if god decides to include all the pirates as sinners and tries to wipe them out like Thanos did I am pretty sure 75% of them would be outta this world (considering even mp3 downloads as piracy). I might need a special therapy to calm myself down if at all I write a book and I find it pirated across the internet.

Was moved from frontend to backend. I am an absolute noob in java, code has no documentation, no formal training, code has cross repository dependencies and I have been assigned with a case and was asked to debug, felt like a pathetic piece of shit. One of those depressing days, but the good thing is we were moved here as an entire team and apparently everyone feels the same way 😂 which makes me feel better.

These are one of those short phase of "0 productivity" days, I wish Java god help me and let me write code with my usual speed, untill then I am going to feel miserable and bad about myself.

I am a graduate student having a hard time finding an internship. I wasn't ready while the big companies were hiring for interns. 200 leetcode questions later I am confident I can crack an interview and now nobody wants to hire.

Most of the reject letters are pretty messed up stating that they have "found more talented individual" or "found a better candidate".

Applied to almost 200 companies, not one reply. :( Hope this doesn't happen during full-time job search.

I was rotting in my room practicing for the interviews and applying for the last two months during this winter break. Hope I don't sit idle during my summer break. :(

Trying to get few things out of my chest.

Nothing is more frustrating than to make use of a bloated base code. Though it gets the job done, trying to fix bug-bombs planted by other developers is nerve wrecking and makes me feel like a member of bomb-squad. Damn!!

Also,
To the SUV guy who took a sudden left to dodge the pit, you startled me and I am sorry to have flicked my finger at you. I honestly didn't notice you had your family in car, heat of the moment made me do it. 3 weeks gone, still unable to get over it. Forgive mee!!

Fellow devRanter needs your referral for internship in United States.

I was not confident or ready when the big companies were hiring for an internship. 190+ Leetcode problems later, I am now confident that I can crack technical coding interviews but I think its too late now. None of the companies I've applied to has responded back to me. I am worried that I have to stay idle during the summer break. I have 3 years of prior work experience as a software development engineer with a decent GPA and a few side projects. Any help would be much appreciated. Please provide referrals if your company is hiring candidates for an internship position. Thanks.

I'll share link to my leetcode profile, my github repo and linkedin profile. Please dm me.

Having one year of experience in javascript and almost a year of experience in java. I am still not sure which one to use for interviews.

Would I able to handle questions on hashmap and hashset if I chose to work our data structures problem in javascript?.

!Rant

Any tips for eye soreness? I don't feel it when I am working in front of the computer but it gets sore at the end of the day and few minutes in the morning the day after.I typically see the screen for around 9 hours.

Is this common? How do you devs overcome this? How do you devs protect your eyes? I'd like to get any tips from you people.

Thanks