It feels stupid to see a simple google dork returning the list of your mistakes.

BF: If you were a database, I would join with you.
Me: Left or right?
BF: Inner.

(there are no words)

My wife. She's also my best friend.

Back then, when we were just flirting, I helped her and her friends(they were all medicine students) with their programming courses which included sql and html. I guess that help led us the way we're here now.

Programmer's son asks his father:
Dad, why do the sun rises on the east and sets on the west ?

Father: It works ! Do not dare to touch it.

I'm a senior developer btw

Rant Init...

That moment you write some magnificent code and everyone is sleeping so you can't share it with anyone but you feel like the room should turn into an exciting musical where you win an award. (Best code can ONLY be written between the hours of 12am and 6am)

The next day, you try to explain to your significant other (user) how amazing this new genius way of doing that "thing" was, in hopes of sharing your excitement but all you get is a "you're such a dork" instead.

You may even try to share it with a coworker or fellow programmer but somehow they just don't see how exciting it is for you.

Rant completed...

My Father is an old bank accountant. So he knows that, behind their mainframe screens there are ugly code stuff and I deal with them.

When I try to talk about my job, Mother's eyes grow in awe. She thinks of me as a sci-fi character.

As my career goes very well, my wife thinks I'm so skillful that I must be like the architect guy at Matrix.

Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law: A mix of my wife and mother.

They are all proud and happy, so am i.

### Should `markdown` be available in posts?
- [X] Yes
- [ ] No

me : what is your age?
she : never asked girl her age

*found her linkedIn profile bsc from XYZ clg : 2009-12*

-_-

really easy to find information of many people's now a days.
just need basic google dork know.

worst: having to code for 10 projects at same time.

best: completing all of them like a boss.

Once Upon a Time.........
Three database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar.
A little while later they walked out Because they could not find a table.

-Active hours set
-Update regularly
-No programs that interfere with the normal update process

5:30pm (INSIDE SET ACTIVE HOURS) my computer reboots IN THE MIDDLE OF ME USING IT with NO WARNING OR PROMPT

Windows you dork

My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
We went and had some drinks.Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.

L'appel du vide A.K.A. Call Of The Void.

Urge to do anything that will lead you to certain death for no reason.

Like when you are near a cliff and think "if i jump off i'll die"

or

"if i drop the database, it will die"

I promised myself I wouldnt program or study after midnight.

And here I am, making flash cards for git like a total dork, and it's almost 1 am.

I'm having a strong urge to kill that asshole that asked me, on a SECOND interview for a SENIOR position if I knew what ORM was!!!
Are you making me fucking waste my time you fucking cunt???
Did you fucking read my CV?
Obviously not because you would have seen several ORM technologies on it you fucking piece of shit.

You made me waste my time, and now I have no choice but to slice your fucking throat!

I'll be waiting for you, in the dark you mother fucker.

"Photoshop is a privilege, not a right. " - Dork Tower

Staying away from distraction.

Selenium is the worst thing happened to me this month...

spending my time with stupid stuff on internet instead of coding.

I used to have a spiky punk emo hair in my teens. Now I look like a dork with thick framed eye glasses.

Not writing the damn code.

Video conferencing apps:

Competition is great. It just sucks when you have to use all the competition.

Things I want to be able to do:

- Test Mic and Audio before joining the call, BOTH DAMN IT (some do do this, some just one or the other).

- No fiddling in settings to do test / change settings. I want to know / test every damn time before I join ...

- and it would be great if it forced everyone to test too ;) (obviously some complications there if folks are joining and don't intend to talk)

Things I to see all the time on the app, don't hide this shit, and GOD DAMN IT DON'T AUTO HIDE IT:

- Is my mic muted or not.
- Is my mic broadcasting sound or not.

I've been lucky enough to not have any terrible dork ups using these apps but man they seem to invite it by hiding stuff.

I \u2764 javascript.
Am I alone?

We complain a lot about others. I'll toss out my own dork up from today.

Customer: "Can we add more than X widgets? There seems to be a limit."

Me: "Wut? Lol no I didn't limit.... wait a second."

SQL... field type... varchar

-hand to forehead-

Why should I hire a software Engineer, if I can just copy and paste code from Stack Overflow ???

!dev

If you driving a FUCKing Peugeot 107, don't FUCKing start to tailgate me, m'kay?!
Especially not on the highway imbecile fuckwit!

Because, I know for a fact that the rusty boneshaking rattletrap, that you call a car won't be able to overtake anyway!!

FUCKing dork, safety distance heard of it?

I bet my left nut, that you draw your drivers license in legoland.

doing a lot of geek talk.

I've adopted this per task desktop management think. Anyone else do this?

I make a new desktop, for a given task, support ticket, or whatever. And when I'm 'done'. I keep everything (ticket, whatever I was working on in vs code, related emails) open but minimize it all except the pull request waiting to happen.

If I get some feedback on the PR / changes I just fly through my virtual desktops and there it is and I'm ready to work.

Then after the PR goes through ... I keep it open for a bit anyway to be sure nothing bad happens.

Then after a while I shut it all down assuming that it is working well.

All this so I don't have to fire everything up again for a rando request or dork up or whatever.

Software Idea: correlation between MicroShit updates vs number of rants on that date

guess that would give some interesting results

Need some suggestions for wireless noise canceling headphones

Program - a four letter word.
Programmer- person that converts caffeine to code.

not being able to find them.

In mid 90's, I played games in uncle's computer. I remember playing prehistoric, volfied and outlaws. It was first DOS, then Windows 95.

Could you guys give me advice on how to write good code?

(I'm mostly doing TypeScript and C++)

And what other languages should I learn?

My stickers arrived. They are awesome. Many thanks!

Since i have a shitty phone and don't use twitter anyway, i'm not gonna post photos.