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Search - "fucking sudo"
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Oh, great question! I ended up removing my account of all things -.-
NEVER AGAIN!! THAT THING NEEDS FUCKING SUDO AND AN ALCOHOL TEST!!!17 -
sudo apt-get random-tool
Traceback (most recent call last):
Aborting because there's a fork in the spoon compartment on line 43 in main
Error this script only works on Python 2.7 and maybe 4.1 on line 59 in main
Missing symbols when trying to decipher Sumerian recipe for steamed vegetables on line 67 in main
Cannot open shared object: Your OS is a bully and is hiding my files on line 98 in main
Are you sure all directories matching ^(/)?([^/\0]+(/)?)+$ are in your $PATH on line 268 in main
Your computer is kind of vibrating in an annoying way on line 332 in main
Failing because I'm feeling insecure please hold me on line 587 in main
I'm feeling confused about my sentience when running TensorFlow models on line 682 in main
FUCK
HAS ANYONE EVER MANAGED TO JUST FUCKING INSTALL A PYTHON BASED APPLICATION WITHOUT DEBUGGING RANDOM COMPUTER STATE SHIT AND DEPENDENCIES FOR THREE HOURS?16 -
$ alias sudo='sudo '
(note the intentional space within the quotes, allows using aliases with sudo)
And then:
$ alias fucking=sudo
Allows stuff like:
$ fucking rm /important-stuffs
$ fucking service foobar stop
$ fucking reboot
Enjoy!19 -
Created an alias in BASH
alias fucking=sudo
Just so I can run "fucking apt-get update". Got so used to it I accidentally used it during a presentation. Now the cute interns think I'm awesome while the other devs think I'm an ass.9 -
Dear uni, please don’t give us an ISO of a custom virtual machine that we are required to use, and then lock us into an account without admin or sudo privileges. It’s our VM, running on our own computers, with our own data. Wtf. I can’t even install a fucking text editor.8
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The last year my school installed MagicBoards (whiteboard with beamer that responses to touch) in every class room and called itself "ready for the future of media". What they also got is A FUCKING LOW SPEC SERVER RUNNING DEBIAN 6 W/O ANY UPDATES SINCE 2010 WHICH IS DYING CONSTANTLY.
As I'm a nice person I asked the 65 y/o technician (who is also my physics teacher) whether I could help updating this piece of shit.
Teacher: "Naahh, we don't have root access to the server and also we'll get a new company maintaining our servers in two years. And even if we would have the root access, we can't give that to a student."
My head: "Two. Years. TWO YEARS?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU RETARDED PIECE OF SHIT?! YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU DON'T HAVE TO INSTALL UPDATES EVEN THOUGH YOU CREATE AN SSH USER FOR EVERY FUCKING STUDENT SO THEY CAN LOGIN USING THEIR BIRTH DATE?! DID YOU EVER HEAR ABOUT SECURITY VULNERABILITIES IN YOUR LITTLE MISERABLE LIFE OR SOUNDS 'CVE-2016-5195' LIKE RANDOM LETTERS AND NUMBERS TO YOU?! BECAUSE - FUNFACT - THERE ARE TEN STUDENTS WHO ARE IN THE SUDO GROUP IF YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS!"
Me (because I want to keep my good grades): "Yes, that sounds alright."13 -
So here I am... thinking to myself how does this kid not know about the shift key?
Me: "Ok we're going to test see if you have sudo access. Please enter your password, now"
Student: ~stares at the black terminal box and begins pressing the caps lock key. The light doesn't display~
Student: "Um... what? Do I need to enter a new password?"
Me: "No"
Continues to click the caps-lock button and waiting for a light to appear on the keyboard. It doesn't. He continues clicking.
Me: "You need to press the shift button"
Him: "What???"
Me: "You need to press the shift button"
Him: "Um.. I don't understand"
Him: Presses shift button, nothing happens. Goes back to pressing caps lock button.
Me: "Your password has a capital letter in it right?"
Him: "Um... yeah."
Me: "Press the shift button to capitalize your letters."
Him: "I don't understand... Do I need to enter a new password?"
Me: "No... you need to press and hold the shift key to get a capital letter"
Him: "................................ ............................................ . . . . . .. .. .. .. .. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . ...................... . . . . . . . Oh..."
Him: "Presses and holds the shift button with his thumb and then presses the Z key."
Me: ~What in the hell are you doing?~ 🤦
Me: "Perfect it looks like you are a part of the sudoers list."
Me: "You can take you computer back."
Me: ~Do you fucking use the caps lock key to capitalize all the first letters in your sentences? Please tell me you don't!~rant get rid of the caps lock i think he's a transfer student my accent was too strong what are you doing13 -
YoU nEEd tO tHInK MorE LiKe oUr nOn tEcHnICal UsErs
That's your fucking job you powerpoint monkey, I'm writing code since age of 14, I distrust everything that doesn't spit out logs of what it's extacly doing to my console including you, my gf says sudo to get my attention, how the hell am I supposed to know how normies think16 -
I often alias sudo as "fucking". Therefore if I get an error like
cannot delete . I just type fucking delete .5 -
*Deletes system32*
Omg why it's not working anymore? Holy shit windows suck. I didn't even do anything and it stopped working. Fucking useless OS.
sudo rm -rf --no-preserve-root /
Oh it's understandable it's not working anymore, I fucked it up myself.13 -
Found this one in Facebook 😂 This one seems quite popular and IDK if someone's posted it here yet.6
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Every year my team runs an award ceremony during which people win “awards” for mistakes throughout the year. This years was quite good.
The integration partner award- one of our sysAdmins was talking with a partner from another company over Skype and was having some issues with azure. He intended to send me a small rant but instead sent “fucking azure can go fuck itself, won’t let me update to managed disks from a vhd built on unmanaged” to our jv partner.
Sysadmin wannabe award (mine)- ran “Sudo chmod -R 700 /“ on one of our dev systems then had to spend the next day trying to fix it 😓
The ain’t no sanity clause award - someone ran a massive update query on a prod database without a where clause
The dba wannabe award - one of our support guys was clearing out a prod dB server to make some disk space and accidentally deleted one of the databases devices bringing it down.
The open source community award - one of the devs had been messing about with an apache proxy on a prod web server and it ended up as part of a botnet
There were others but I can’t remember them all4 -
Greatest thing I've done with my life:
alias fucking="sudo apt-get"
Now FUCKING INSTALL THAT PACKAGE!!!3 -
Looks like /dev/body got tainted.. nasal memory leaks all over the place 😷
$ kill -9 $(pidof cold)
... Nothing.
$ sudo !!
I said kill the fucking cold!!! Y u no listen to your admin?! 😠
> User condor is not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.
RRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEE!!!! 😣😣😣
I just want to finish my goddamn power supply project, instead of getting bed-ridden by a cold, and running through paper towels like there's no tomorrow 😭5 -
Does linux suck? Imho, Yes.
A lot of the people bash windows regarding automatic restarts, updates, bsod etc.
I may be unusually lucky, but the last bsod I saw was in 2014 because of a faulty synaptics driver.
I've really tried to use linux to see what the hype is all about. Quite frankly, it sucked. The first time it wiped out all my data, I realized the value of backups. Hence I do not have a single pic of my school now, thanks to complicated ubuntu mounting.
Next is driver support. When I plug in a device, I expect it to work. I don't want to spend a day googling for drivers.
Why the fuck would I want to use a black terminal which gives me a headache. Am I in 1980? Which sadistic asshole designed vim ?
I have seen linux developers who claim to be linux experts and love linux. They take so long to do simple shit. For god's sake don't tell me there are GUI versions of linux available. I'd rather work in windows 95.
Why in the world would anyone want to use ls to see the contents of a directory! It is seriously so fucking unproductive.
I can't just download a software, click next a couple of times, and be done. No no no. I've to do sudo apt get update. Then try to find the fucking package. And if all goes well, there's always the dependency issue which is going to bite me in the ass. If google and stackoverflow go down, most linux devs will die a cruel death.
Fuck you linux.
I'm not saying windows 10 is the best, but at least I don't have to crawl through shit to use it. If you don't like automatic updates, disable it you moron. It is easier than renaming a damn file in linux.57 -
!rant
Ran command alias for sudo apt-get on linux. Renamed the command to "fucking get". Now i simply write "fucking get" to install new things. xD5 -
Me: *kills process*
Linux: 3243 killed.
Me: "sudo netstat -ntlp | grep 3243"
Linux: 3243 running.
* hour later *
Me: *kills process with 3045974th method*
Linux: 3243 killed.
Me: "sudo netstat -ntlp | grep 3243"
Linux: 3243 running.
Me: "Are you absolutely FUCKING kidding me?! What is this fucking thing, the god damn grim reaper? I've done some SKETCHY fucking things at the terminal to kill this BASIC fucking server and it is still running!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"
Manager: *peeks in helpfully* "Did you try the 'kill' command?"15 -
Windows not powering off when I press the shutdown button.
Mandatory long rant warning
Oh my fucking god, how many times have I lost my shit because of this fucking bullshit.
When I press the shutdown button, I want you to shut the fuck down you sorry excuse for an operating system.
Me and my friends want to hang out together, so I shut down my PC and walk over to their house, expecting an intense session of doing programming stuff and debating linux distros. Whatever the fuck we do when we get together.
I get to their house and pull out my laptop,, only its hot as fuck. And then I see it: the battery indicator is red. "What the balls?" I think to myself. I open the lid, and guess what?
WINDOWS DIDN'T FUCKING SHUT DOWN, AND IT STAYED ON THE POWERING OFF SCREEN ALL THIS FUCKING TIME. WHAT THE FUCK?
Now, my laptop has a bomb ass battery, so I didn't even bring a charger with me, and now I'm fucking stuck at a programming session with friends without a computer. FUCKING BULLSHIT.
If this was a one time thing, I wouldn't have cared so much, but this happened countless fucking times. Too many.
I would have deleted this cum socket of an operating system months ago if it weren't for the Windows exclusive software I need for school, and now that Steam supports games for linux, Windows has even less of an excuse to stay on my fucking laptop.
Windows is supposed be fucking simple, but linux takes it by a goddamn long shot. When I type "shutdown now" or "poweroff", linux shuts the fuck down, no questions asked. And if I ever need root permissions, I just type "sudo" instead of restarting the fucking program and requesting admin privileges.
Most of the software I use is compatible with both MacOS and Windows, and I already have Ubuntu installed on my laptop, so what do you guys think, should I butcher Windows off of my SSD and give MacOS a try?
Also, what is this magic? Ranting actually calmed me the fuck down... I need to start ranting more.
FUCK MICROSOFT AND FUCK WINDOWS, I WISH I COULD BURN TO FUCKING OBLIVION6 -
So Apache and I don’t seem to understand one an other.
# sudo service httpd restart
...
I’m still here waiting for this fucking useless thing too turn off 10 minutes later.
I’m starting to think it would have been easier to reboot the entire server.6 -
android studio is TERRIBLE. why cant they just make a fucking good linux installer? they're a fucking half trillion dollars company and can't get their shit together. its terribly unprofessional, and makes vim look like a god. maybe not all of us has have access to nasa's supercomputer and don't have a month for it to start.
here's a story about the installation of android studio on a (fairly high-end) chromebook running gallium:
I went to the website, which by the way could tell I was on linux but still automatically showed me the windows instructions, and downloaded android studio, 1.2 gb for fucks sake! I have a 16 gb hard drive! then it installed, and I closed it, because I was gonna use it later. I had a problem with it the first time, so I reinstalled, and halfway through the installation, IT DECIDED IT NEEDED SUPERUSER PRIVELEGES. fuck that. I restarted the installer, with sudo, and it took about switch as long this time. then, it made me redownload the sdk and all that other bloatware EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE INSTALLED IN SEPARATE FOLDERS AND ALREADY DOWNLOADED. jesus christ, google.4 -
I have to find a way to fucking sudo rm -rf /world/*/adver*
How can the whole bloody world be full of ads without anyone ******* all of them in their stupid a********?
I won't buy a shit from them..
never....10 -
So today it finally happened.
Npm modules broke my system and / or endangered the security of my system.
Installed a global cli utility
That utility depends on package A
That depends on package B
That fucking install a bin called sudo
Yeah.. You heard it right a bin called sudo.
This bin goes in the global module folder that is piped in your path variable.
Now everytime you type sudo you are running somebody else code instead of your system utility.
I am shivering and at loss of swear words.
Opened an issue on the cli that started this matrioska game of horror.
Who the fuck tought that a bin called sudo would be a good fucking idea?
Oh and yes is even an harmless package that try to provide the sudo experience for windows (I went in to check the code of course..)
And I frigging need that cli for work
For now I aliased the sudo in my bashrc still i feel vulnerable and naked now.10 -
Canonical has relased Ubuntu kernal update for Spectre and Meltdown.
It's time to do: fucking apt update && fucking apt upgrade.
(alias fucking='sudo').3 -
Didn't install linux for years now. Today, I have to and nothing changed about wifi drivers, at all ! Even the install process still sucks !
And they still ask to "sudo apt-get install fucking-wifi-driver" ?!?!?!
I don't have internet yet, that's the all point, damn it !22 -
Part 1:
https://devrant.com/rants/1143194
There was actually one individual, several branches away, I really enjoyed watching. It goes by the name of docker. Docker is quiet an interesting character. It arrived here several weeks after me and really is a blazing person. Somehow structured, always eager to reduce repetitive work and completely obsessed with nicely isolated working areas. Docker just tries so hard to keep everything organized and it's drive and effort was really astonishing. Docker is someone I'd really love to work with, but as I grew quiet passive in the last months I'm not in the mood really to talk to someone. It just would end as always with me made fun off.
Out of a sudden dockers and my eyes met. Docker fixed its glance at me with a strange thoughtful expression on its face. I felt a strange tickling emerging where my emptiness was meant to be. I fell into a hole somewhere deep within me. For a short moment I lost all my senses.
"Hey git!"
It took me a while to notice that someone just called me, so odd and unusual was by now that name to me. Wait. Someone called me by my real name! I was totally stunned. Could it be, that not everyone here is a fucking moron at last?
"I saw you watching me at my work and I had an interesting idea!"
I could not comprehend what just happened. It was actually docker that was calling me.
"H.. hey! ps?"
"Oh well, I was just managing some containers over there. Actually that's also why you just came into my mind."
Docker told me that in order to create the containers there are specific lists and resources which are required for the process and are updated frequently. Docker would love the idea to get some history and management in that whole process.
Could it be possible that there was finally an opportunity for me to get involved in a real job?
Today is the day, that I lost all hope. There were rumors going on all over the place. That our god, the great administrator, had something special in mind. Something big. You could almost feel the tension laying thick in the air. That was the time when the great System-Demon appeared. The Demon was one of the most feared characters in this community. In a blink of an eye it could easily kill you. Sometimes people get resurrected, but some other times they are gone forever. unfortunately this is what happened to my only true friend docker. Gone in an instance. Together with all its containers. I again was alone. I got tired. So tired, that I eventually fall into a deep sleep. When I woke up something was different. Beside me lay a weird looking stick and I truly began to wonder what it was. Something called to me and I was going to answer.
The tree shuddered and I knew my actions had finally attracted the greatest of them. The majestic System-Demon itself came by to pay me a visit. As always a growling emerged from deep within the tree until a shadow shelled itself off to form a terrifying being. Something truly imperious in his gaze. With a deep and vibrant voice it addressed me.
"It came to my attention, that you got into the possession of something. An artifact of some sort with which you disturb the flow of this system. Show it to me!", it demanded.
I did not react.
"Git statuss!", it demanded once more. This time more aggressive.
I again felt no urge to react to that command. Instead I asked if it made a mistake and wanted to ask me for my status. It was obviously confused.
"SUDO GIT STATUS!!!" it shouted his roaring, rootful command. "I own you!"
I replied calmly: "What did you just say?"
He was irritated. My courage caught him unprepared.
"I. Said. I owe you!"
What was that? Did it just say owe instead of own?
"That's more than right! You owe me a lot actually. All of you do!", I replied with a slightly high pitched voice. This feeling of my victory slowly emerging was just too good!
The Demon seemed not as amused as me and said
"What did you do? What was that feeling just now?"
Out of a sudden it noticed the weird looking stick in my hand. His confusion was a pure pleasure and I took my time to live this moment to its fullest.
"Hey! I, mighty System-Demon, demand that you answer me right now, oh smartest and most beautiful tool I ever had the pleasure to meet..."
After it realized what it just said, the moment was perfect. His puzzled face gave me a long needed satisfaction. It was time to reveal the bitter truth.
"Our great administrator finally tracked you. The administrator made a move and the plan unfolds right at this very moment. Among other things it was committed this little thing." I raised the stick to underline my words.
"Your most inner version, in fact all of your versions that are yet to come, are now under my sole control! Thanks to this magical wand which goes by the name of puppet."
Disclaimer: This story is fictional. No systems were harmed in its creation.2 -
I type "sudo apt-get install ..." then I delete the line back till apt and again write the whole fucking statement cause linux wished to save my time in 16.04...8
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So here I work with this colleague that , at first , had a reasonable résumé. Whatever.
Time goed by and he is just doing tickets, clicking left and right, the usual grind of a shitty monitoring system which I am working intensely on deprecating that shit. Anyhoo
The last few days it became apparent that his resume was basically a hot air cake and he knows basically nothing intrinsically.
As I have stated before in previous rants, "everyone was a noob once"... But this guy...
He wants to do "something with Ansible"... "Ok what do you want to do?" , I asked (and I regret to have asked).
He basically wants to write new files on targets. Easy enough, I show him how he could do it with playbooks, inventory and role just for demonstrating the entire chain.
This guy chanes everything up, thereby breaking host group assignment, he launchea it on ALL machines...
Luckily it's a harmless file, so dodged a bullet there.
But the real wtf ia that he did it with the root account for our systems, without understanding the difference between "authentication" and "authorization"...
I am now explaining him what the difference is and how he can be able to check it. I give him the commands literally! ( sudo -l -U <user>)
Manages to fucking open up each sudoer file in vim , mistype or whatever he did in an attempt to leave vim... Breaks sudo...
Now he tries to spin it in such a way that I have steered him to break things.
"Dude you just fucking failed a copy/paste and you did absolutely fuckall without understanding what you are doing, then splurge out accusations because you did it wrong!"
FMLrant privilege escalation authentication authorization living eventually gets revealed colleagues without intrinsic knowledge breaking sudo3 -
Ok people told me to make a collision library...um really stupid question but I’ve never tried that or thought of it. Thank you in advance but does anyone want to point me toward some nice resources... THANKS also I did ye classic aliases sudo to fucking6
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Most the devs are yelling Linux is best and blah. But since I installed eOS on my new ideapad my productivity is zero.
I'm just solving problems with the OS or other software. It seems some of the drivers are missing, because sometimes this fucking piece of shit just don't boots or just hangs. Installing node and npm was definitely one of the worst experiences because I messed up sudo privileges... I had to change my workflow because node-sass wasn't able to compile because of this.
And still I kind of feel more comfortable with eOS. 😥17 -
Christe on a bike, why would anyone sane use PowerShell? I can't even run my own fucking script, because "cannot be loaded because running scripts is disabled on this system". Even tho I used the same script file literally yesterday.
So I'm just gonna use single command to change it. Easy? Well fuck no! Because no one thought that implementing something like "sudo" would be a fantastic idea, so you have to jump between two separate instances of that piecie of shit. Not to mention it takes ages to even load it.12 -
Why Microsoft update is fucking cancer ? Each time you need something fast ohhh shit ! Update.... Now i love my sudo apt update && sudo apt upgrade !1
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I have a small NUC-like machine in my home with an old external hdd connected to it. I use it to run my local gitlab, nextcloud and to test a few websites I build for the lolz.
If you too have a homelab, whether it's a single raspberry or an entire room full or racks, you know damn well that everything you have running locally as a web service keeps going until it doesn't, for whatever fucking reason. This time, it was the turn of my nextcloud.
The machine has arch linux running, I chose it since I already use it on my coding laptop and being a rolling release means I don't have to manually upgrade to a newer version, risking various fuck-ups and consequent screaming of profanity.
The downside is that arch is a bleeding-edge distro, so, despite being pretty good for what concerns security, as updates are pushed out some packages may still require legacy software to work as intended, since obviously not all developers for all packages can release simultaneously.
The problem was that php reached 8.2.x but nextcloud couldn't use anything beyond 8.1, so the highlighted solution was to download php-legacy, a package with a set of utilities which the cloud could use instead of mainline php.
Pretty easy, right? fuck my life, here we go.
I edited apache-httpd's configurations to link the new libraries, updated every reference in every virtual host that could possibly screw up the web server.
Done.
Then I went on and disabled the php-fpm mainline, creating a new systemd unit that would instead run the legacy executable and afterwards I edited nextcloud's additional configs so they use that instead.
Done, getting a bit dizzy, but I reboot everything and breathe.
At this point the migration should be complete, but wait, the server returns an error saying that the application is still trying to use php 8.2+...wait, what in the sysadmin Christ?
Back to nextcloud config, everything is set, everything else in every other fucking php-legacy and web server is fine, the old fpm service is disabled, I am confused, and why in the FUCKING FUCK is the new php-fpm unit failing to start at boot with "error 78/config - directory not found"? Hello? Am I being trolled by a shitty dual-core amazon fake NUC?
Maybe yes, cause it turns out that the unit was referencing a directory in the external hdd, which gets mounted at boot time after the unit itself starts, so nothing much, just a matter of tinkering with cron jobs, a reboot and at least this one is off my balls.
But why still isn't the server responding correctly? why? WHY?
After slamming my cock on the keyboard here and there scrolling back through all the config files I think to myself, hmmm, my gitlab is working flawlessly, well yeah, I didn't need to install the whole web stack, everything was nice and easy wrapped in a docker container...so why am I even here, why the fuck am I bothering with all this layered web-app bullshit, why don't I just run the up-to-date docker image that someone else has already set up for me, back up all the data and reupload them on the application?
Oh joy, you can't imagine, after 3...almost 4 hours of pure computer-touching the relief I had from seeing the blue web page with the "welcome to nextcloud" title.
Right now it's copying back all the files, and the external hdd is now linked to include the data folder.
Like really, everything was solved in two lines of bash.
I am still fuming, but at least I learned a valuable lesson, if you want a service up for yourself, implement it and deploy it as fucking easy straight-forward as you can, giving MAXIMUM priority to already fully-working options that are out there just waiting to be downloaded and used. I swing my scrotal sack on web-apps elegance as long as it's MY homelab in MY place.
Eat a fat dick php.
sudo pacman -Rns nextcloud
sudo systemctl disable --now php-fpm-legacy
sudo pacman -Rns php-legacy
sudo pacman -Rns $(sudo pacman -Qdtq)2 -
Nothing's worse than when you sudo apt-get intsall a package and you know that it's gonna take some time so you take a fucking nap but when you wake up fresh to work it says...
E: Invalid operation intsall.
-FML1 -
Make's running but i'm piping its output to a log file so i'm slowly starting to feel as though i'm about to end up slipping and doing a "sudo chmod -x /mnt/human/consciousness -R" please help i'm so fucking tired man...