Doot doot.

My day: Eight lines of refactoring around a 10-character fix for a minor production issue. Some tests. Lots of bloody phone calls and conference calls filled with me laughing and getting talked over. Why? Read on.

My boss's day: Trying very very hard to pin random shit on me (and failing because I'm awesome and fuck him). Six hours of drama and freaking out and chewing and yelling that the whole system is broken because of that minor issue. No reading, lots of misunderstanding, lots of panic. Three-way called me specifically to bitch out another coworker in front of me. (Coworker wasn't really in the wrong.) Called a contractor to his house for testing. Finally learned that everything works perfectly in QA (duh, I fixed it hours ago). Desperately waited for me to push to prod. Didn't care enough to do production tests afterwards.

My day afterwards: hey, this Cloudinary transform feature sounds fun! Oh look, I'm done already. Boo. Ask boss for update. Tests still aren't finished. Okay, whatever. Time for bed.

what a joke.

Oh, I talked to the accountant after all of this bullshit happened. Apparently everyone that has quit in the last six years has done so specifically because of the boss. Every. single. person.

I told him it was going to happen again.

I also told him the boss is a druggie with a taste for psychedelics. (It came up in conversation. Absolutely true, too.) It's hilarious because the company lawyer is the accountant's brother.

So stupid.

So I just had this job interview with a "startup" (side note: who the fuck still calls limping companies "startups" in 2024? That is sooooo 2010s).

There was this tattooed and very pale girl (you just know the vibe), the mandatory Norse bearded tall guy and the balding, "I'm-in-my-fifties-but-I-am-not-a-square, maaan" sleasy-looking white guy in a button up shirt but no suit jacket. The whole stereotypes gang came looking for their missing nerdy Indian.

The sleasy bloke goes on and on on a looong tirade on how they're "a tech innovation academy", how they "move fast and break things" and they "run smoking hot", so that "long nights are to be expected".
So, they usual red-flagging shit.

Then they all went on a "but we're not like all those companies that look exactly like us" word salad about "sustainability and a healthy work life balance", with their "highest value" being "the utmost respect at all times". I'm nodding my head at the meaningless splurge until they fart out the sentence "for example, cussing while talking with colleagues is a fireable offence".

If some hustling enterprise rather prefers a posh working environment, one can adapt to such circumstances. Provided, of course, that said enterprise adheres to the administrative coherence expected from a culturally refined institution. Mostly by compliance, from the leadership, to a rigidly predictable working schedule.

Now, if the bloody curs want coder dogs that work assfucking hours with a shit eating grin, they better swallow our fucking sailor mouths. Fuck, I've done twenty hour shifts getting my ass kicked in dark startup fisting/rush rooms. If unable to yell at any blabbering cocksucker to go stick his fucking opinions up the bitch who crapped him, then I ain't gonna bloody be there.

TL;DR they can either have a "utmost respect" working environment XOR a "fast and hot" daily hustle.

After they crapped out that oxymoron I could barely hold myself to avoid saying "sorry, I do not partake in any of the psychedelics you must be on".
On to the next interviews!

Does anyone do psychedelics? Do you find it hurts your programming performance, increases it, or just general thoughts on the subject?

my plan for perfect state:
- powered by nuclear energy
- metric system, 24-hour clock
- state-owned and built midrisers for public housing with regulated prices, privately owned and built luxury housing
- free healthcare, free generic drugs, option to pay for name-brand drugs. option to choose the gender of your urologist/gynecologist
- free public education, free kindergartens
- free centralized heating, Russia-style
- same-sex marriages are legal. legal documents for polyamorous partners, though not the same one as what you get when you get married. they grant some rights and don't grant other rights
- gender-neutral bathrooms in all state-owned buildings. privately owned places have the choice to make non-gender-neutral, separate bathrooms. bathrooms for wheelchair users are mandatory
- weed is legal, psychedelics are legal. you can grow, but there are limits
- possessing any drug in small (relative to the drug) quantities is not a criminal offense
- free HRT & voice coaching for trans people. But puberty blockers are illegal. gender-affirming surgery for children is criminal offense. let kids wait till they're able to consent
- Swiss-style gun laws
- no official religion, but the capital city has state-owned churches of all major religions. religious leaders are elected
- pragmatism, statistics, no ideological & demagogic bullshit
- extensive tram, metro & rail network
- bike and pedestrian-first roads
- multiple "city centers", all walkable
- scientology and other cults are banned
- no free parking on publicly owned land, option to pay for a parking lot for your car. All paid lots are equipped with fast charging for EVs
- no petrol cars in cities. no car restrictions in the countryside
- Barcelona-style superblocks
- all office workers have the right to work remotely and visit offices only if they want to
- free abortions
- mandatory vaccines for children, free vaccines for everyone
- free, state-owned bike "rental" network
- airbnb and other short-term rentals can't occupy more than 10% of the city center, companies that own airbnb places can't be incorporated overseas, they should be present locally
- Japenese-style "obsessed with fairness"-style local elections
- free shelters for the homeless, dedicated shelter network for domestic violence survivors of all genders
- refined sugar content in all food products (except for 100% refined sugar) is regulated and limited
- all vegan food items that are designed to replace meat-based items can't cost more than their meat counterparts
- four day, six hours per day work week. for people working in shifts, eight hours per shift max (you'll need three shifts to fill 24 hours)
- mandatory vacations, paid for by the company
- six months worth of salary if you're laid off, two months worth of salary if you quit on your own with two weeks notice
- autobahns with no speed limit
- no noise after 21:00
- ban underground and overhead crossings. people shouldn't climb to just cross the road
- Swiss privacy laws
- well-funded, well-equipped police force. all bodycam footage is public. turning bodycam off is grounds for termination. small task-force within police to fight corruption
- every citizen gets a free domain name of their choosing
- bike theft = car theft
- graffiti is not a criminal offense, but city cleanliness laws are Singapore-style (though not as harsh)
- all phones have user-replaceable batteries
- PRISM-type shit is illegal. all electronic devices sold here should be stripped of backdoors & surveillance
- completely ban hostile architecture
- government secret service should exist, but the number of people there should be limited
- ban exotic pets
- real, long sentences for pedos (pedos in the us are basically free, they barely get any time)

overall, I think there should be more separation between city and countryside laws. no one needs a Ford F-150 in my imaginary city, but some farmers do need it in my countryside!

Anyone with experience in microdosing psychedelics, how's your experience so far? I'm mostly interested in effects on mood, creativity, and productivity I guess - but feel free to share other aspects of it.

So this is kinda hard to talk about but.. I finally got to a point in my career where I don't have a boss, work remote, make my own schedule etc.. problem is .. I am very low on productivity I feel like I'm working maybe 1/10th of my capacity and although Yea this may sound dream-like .. it gets old and I'm realizing that I used to excel at my last job for my boss.. I wanted to please him in every way for validation and acceptance..

Yea that's dysfunctional as fuck .. so basically how the hell do i use my own mind to drive my excellence? I'm so lost and don't really know how to find the motivation that people pleasing once brought me..

For some context as well, I have also done a lot of psychedelics over the past couple years and it has basically destroyed my ego .. "but that's a good thing" you say?

Well yes and no, I used to rely on my ego to drive me on my own in lieu of wanting acceptance and validation from my boss. So that was a bit unexpected, getting rid of my ego got rid of my dysfunctional drives to prove myself to others and seek acceptance..

Gahh I'm ranting :'D

TL;DR: how do you motivate yourself if you've traditionally found motivation through pleasing others???

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