Newest addition to my desk (after reviewing code written by ex-coworker)

You ever sit down to start working on a project, get all your imports and variables set up, and then just completely lose all motivation to even press a key?

My worst experience was at my job where they told me I have to move to a permanent position from 3 years of contracting without a specific offer.
Why is that bad? In my country it means approximatly 40% lower wage.
I came into the job with PHP knowledge when they were looking for Perl on a project one year behind schedule. I learned the language and finished working demo in 6 weeks.
After that, every project that was ever assigned to me was done within 5-15% of the allocated time. I'm not kidding here. My manager loved be, because I was reliable, fast and I even 'accidentaly' solved other problems, like for instance I developed simple syslog search tool and benchmarked zip algos for reading speed, and the fastest had 70% better compression than the algo used before (gzip into plzip on 1-2gb files). That solved anothet problem - syslog servers did not have enough disk space and they didn't have money to upgrade the server.
The number of projects I touched or developed was over 20.
I also lead and developed our team's most successful tool, that every customer was throwing money to buy, while cutting down costs everywhere.
And after three years of that, my manager says that there are no more money for contractors. And the only possibility is going for employment. Without any specific offer! Just 'we cant do this anymore'.
Which I understand, that can happen in corporation, but ffs after all I've done, I expected warmer attitude. Not like 'you may have to leave, since we do not really care'.
I liked the people there, even though the corporation environment was lacking in many respects, but I wanted to help our local branch with everything I could and they gave up on me like that.
So I started looking elsewhere and I found a startup which offered 6 times the money I had in my previous job and promises to relocate me to USA. Which is the best thing that has happened to me that year and second best in my whole life!

When I was 20, I coded for 24 hours straight, even ate at the computer, as a dare to finish all the tasks in one go. I was successful.
Now I'm 25 and I have no time for such stuff. Kinda miss that

I like how devs keep on shitposting Windows rants, but never switch to Linux.

Windows will never get better, you have to give it up :)

I fucking LOVE SUBLIME TEXT. I know some of you are impartial to your fully featured IDEs, but personally I just love a good old text editor with syntax highlighting. Sublime Text is amazing, and that's pretty much the point of this rant is to emphasize how much I recommend everyone trying out Sublime Text.

Me writing the description for my PR:
"Felt cute, might refactor later idk tho 💅"

Was having a Good day , My code was compiling, Android Studio did find the fucking 'R' In his goddamn libraries and eventually got my strong coffee by my desk.
Suddenly i'm hit up with one of Noob friends saying that he installed Windows on His MacBook Air...
My ears and eyes starting bleeding and all that came in my mind was why the heck did you do this, why the heck did you coat your Chocolate truffle with the fucking Mud. Why didn't you just hammered the keyboard and the screen before doing . I had to sleep after this and all that i saw in my dreams was fucking apples and windows.
Please for God's sake don't do this , wouldn't be a sin more deep than this one

Honestly, I spent years trying to make the most out of every functionality that the languages provided... After 7 years of that, last 3 I only use the most basic things and I can say: it is far superior to keep things simple. I'm making deadlines in a third of expected time, debugging is a piece of cake, and adding new features usually takes about 5 minutes thanks to very simple and straightforward design.
TL;DR: Keep It Simple Stupid
#kiss #suckless

Please, can someone explain the term "enterprise" to me. I work in a corporation, I hear it twice a week, I develop it, and still have no idea what it means.

The team in our office was forced to have, and I'm not kidding, TWO hours long agile meetings EVERY day. That's right, only 6 hours a day for work. Crazy managers

When your deep focus music makes you sleepy

"hey the hi-8 camcorder's working again, can you get this PCI tv tuner card working so we can transfer the tapes to a digital format"

here we go again...

no stickers, so throw it in a machine, boot debian's installer, switch TTYs, "lspci": okay, a pair of "Brooktree BT878" devices. Drivers? ..."support built into most kernels since 2.4." Didn't they remove a lot of legacy hardware support from 5.x or 4.2x or so? Debian works with it... oh, "Debian Sarge." Kernel 2.6. FUCK... well, we'll try Debian 10.6 latest and see what happens.

Currently installing Debian 10.6 on a victim machine from a nonfree ISO to test this. (goddamn, how many times have I installed debian onto something?) Hopefully I don't have to go find a Debian oldoldstable ISO or anything...

I just built PHP 7 with pthreads... from my phone. I can't believe how far we got with the technology

So Vivo made a bezeless phone this time
But guess what its again gonna contain a fucking kazillion Megapixel Selfie camera with Mars Light Flash to make you look Unique paired with a shit mediatek Processor.
Also,
They have got stones from krypton and their next phone is gonna have krypton light flash just so the fuckin superman can't use that just because they partnered with marvel to get infinity stones so that they can use them in their later phones as a light for the selfie flash.
Guess what? Thanos preodered it ..
Well Played Vivo

When you get a push notification from that special someone 💛

Alright so this guy is arguing with me about programming, saying that I don't understand how a compiler works because I said that computers parse code when executing it. He says I'm wrong because the code is in machine language. Who is correct?

That feeling when anything you do in any platform can be done in Javascript and most likely there already is a library for it

Is it possible to create a windows application, with a GUI, entirely in Python?

debian sarge (yes sarge, not stretch) and mozilla v1.7.8 (yes mozilla not firefox) ..
You cannot go wrong with that.

Nothing wrong here.

My fellow worker adds amazing method names in JS:
makeDataTablePagingMuchMoreComfortableIfNeeded
arraysHaveObjectsWithSameAttributes

I get so tired of people hating on PHP, Javascript and promoting Python or C#/Java.

Python is basically Perl with slightly different syntax plus has py2/py3 issues. And suffers from pip like js does from npm.

Java/C# started as application languages, while PHP started in web servers (again from Perl but at least it now has full object support). So comparing apples and oranges is one thing.

Another one is that people don't seem to know much about PHP / js (and tbh not even about the languages they are promoting) when they try to hate. That just comes off as lazy and borderline idiotic. Don't be that guy.

If you have had a bad experience, maybe you need to open the documentation instead of copying code from stack overflow.
Again, lazy and unprofessional.

Devs are supposed to be able to find the most efficient solution, that takes as little code as possible, not as little time from them when they arent familiar with the subject.

Damn Im angry right now, this rant really worked me up! :D

There is an idea of Me Being Online; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me online, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my naps and you can see my green status and maybe you can even sense our availability is probably comparable: I simply am not there.