Swift 😐

People with programming languages named after them:

Haskell Curry
Ada Lovelace
Agner Erlang
Blaise Pascal
Taylor Swift

Tonight: Learning Swift while listening to Taylor Swift.

Seriously, god bless Laravel and Taylor Otwell.

I've just had a customer foolishly delete all their user accounts. The customer was seriously stressed about this and as it usually goes, this stress was echoed in the call.

I explained how they can easily restore the deleted records in a single click as I have configured Laravel's "soft delete" functionality site wide. i.e. when they delete a record it isn't really deleted. Functionality to physically delete the record is hidden away outside the client's user level.

Customer was seriously grateful and paid for 2 hours of my time (even though the call took 15 mins) and generally gave me lots of kudos.

Laravel, awesome.

IntelliJ sounds like Taylor Swift

Shake it off...

Holy moly..

Working on my MacBook and out of nowhere: *click* dead..

Try to restart it, fan spinning for a second, then: nothing.. recovery mode. Nothing..
FUCK!!

Doing research on my iPhone.. see Louis rossmann had a case like this in which one foot of the clock on the main board doesn’t have connection.

But I don’t have the right tools to open the MB..

I turn it around, shake it shake it shake it shake it baby like Taylor swift, knock on the back, knock on the keyboard and voila.. working again😪

Didn’t think that still works with modern technology..

Shake it off , shake it off :v 😂 Taylor Swift

Hopefully it's written in Swift!

Random thought: what would a Taylor Swift song about the Swift programming language sound like (besides catchy AF)?

First thing to do after downloading swift for linux is to obviously place the folder inside another folder named Taylor

Google being Google

The table is not a fking drum, and you're not fking Roger Taylor, so stop tapping your fking pen on it.

No, you don't have rhythm, stop that goddamn racket when I'm trying to debug dammit.

I quit smoking yesterday.

By a coincidence I had a pack of cigarettes named “Kresty” – the brand from russian prison.
Just gave it to Stephen Paul Taylor. There’s no reason to smoke again, just don’t want to loose this kind of story.

"Couldn't have written it better myself"

"You might be Taylor Swift because damn you commit often"

"These commit messages are so helpful i could find my way through the Paris catacombs with them"

"Damn we might need to open-source this... How are people living without it??"

"It would be interesting to see if everyone feels as comfortable with this UI as i do"

"Doesn't matter how long this takes, just do it the way you do it."

Guinea pigs are not from Guinea and they aren’t pigs
JavaScript has nothing to do with Java
Computer science is not an actual science
Lawsuit is not an actual suit that the judge wears
Siouxsie Suioux is not Native American
Sugar gliders aren’t made of sugar
People don’t drive on driveways and don’t park on parkways
Carpets have nothing to do with either cars or pets
Gunpowder actually looks like noodles and not like powder
Coca-Cola has no coconut and no cocaine in it. It also contains no cola nuts
Peanuts aren’t actually nuts
Watermelon doesn’t taste like a melon
Laptops are usually used while standing on desks, not laps
GPU, as in graphics processing unit, can process things that aren’t graphical
Silverback gorillas’ backs ain’t made of silver
Rod Steward is not a rod and not a steward
Guy Standing can sit
People who say they can’t stand something usually can actually stand up
People who call themselves woke do sleep sometimes
Hibernation mode in Windows doesn’t actually hibernate anything
Kool Aid can be served hot
Wall sockets can be used while not being attached to a wall
WC is not a closet
MrBeast is in fact human
Dodge cars aren’t better at dodging things than other cars
Some AC units can be operated using DC
Most men don’t menstruate
Pop bottles don’t always go pop
Backpack can be used while not being worn on your back
Watches don’t watch anything
Some keyboards aren’t actually a single board
Cigarettes have cigars, but cassettes don’t have cass, and Gillette doesn’t have gills
Dyson doesn’t make Dyson spheres
Hairdryers can dry things that aren’t hair
Beds aren’t usually made of bedrock
ThinkPads can’t think
MacBooks aren’t books
Ceilings don’t ceil
Platinum records aren’t made of platinum
Training doesn’t always involve trains
Great Britain ain’t that great
HDMI can carry signal that isn’t HD
Fingers do fing but autists don’t aut
American Football band doesn’t play american football
Taylor Swift is neither a taylor nor a swift
Hard disk drive doesn’t drive
Tank tops has nothing to do with the top part of a tank
Tea bags do sometimes contain herbs that aren’t tea
Tea isn’t usually teal
Jack Black isn’t black
Fingernails aren’t nails

This might not resonate with many ranters here... but FUCK Taylor Otwell & Graham Campbell.

Like, not on a personal level. Maybe they're great to drink a beer with. But as framework devs... fuck everything about them.

Laravel seems so nice, it takes away many annoyances of developing in PHP. Collections are the array object you've always needed. The route bindings, middlewares, request validation objects, it's all sweet.

But eventually your company serves a few million customers, you run into specific performance problems or missing features on a deeper level. You open the issue tracker... and see a few hundred issues about the problems you are encountering, they already exist.

Some just have a short paragraph with a request for a feature, some complete PRs with tests in the style of the framework. All of them closed.

Reasons?

"We don't think anyone will ever need this"
"This seems complicated, you can just do <super non-DRY hacky code>"

FUCK YOU WITH YOUR TODO APP SNIPPETS AND USER-POST-ARTICLE EXAMPLES. I'M NOT BUILDING THE NEXT WORDPRESS. I'M DEALING WITH THE REALITY OF GRAPH DATABASE CLUSTERS, COMPLEX AUDITING LOGS AND A GAZILLION QUERIES PER SECOND.

Sigh... the problem with all these "simple" and "elegant" languages & frameworks is that they don't fucking scale.

Not because the language, server or framework intrinsically can't do it, but because the maintainers are stuck thinking in terms of their retarded non-realistic example apps.

I think I'll go back to my cave and write some Haskell or Rust to calm down.

Considering Taylor Swift's history with Apple – including Apple Music and having a programming language named after her – it'd be far more efficient to file bug reports with her rather than on Radar.

Jeffery be like wtf Taylor friendship over!

Guys.... Were getting famous?
Oh shit that's Facebook....
* Posts the screenshot and runs away :) *
Taylor Swift...... You betrayed?

That moment, when you get a brilliant idea, but someone did it before you

"You can be watching TV and see Coca-Cola, and you know that the President drinks Coke, Liz Taylor drinks Coke, and just think, you can drink Coke, too. A Coke is a Coke and no amount of money can get you a better Coke than the one the bum on the corner is drinking. All the Cokes are the same and all the Cokes are good. Liz Taylor knows it, the President knows it, the bum knows it, and you know it." - Andy Warhol

A petty rant but I'm going for it anyway.

I don't like how Trongate is bashing Laravel, claiming that it is a "better" framework and "Pure PHP is back".

It's fine if you built a framework that is better than Laravel, good for you. But don't go around bashing Taylor Otwell's work. As someone, who has spent a major portion of my career in IT as a Laravel dev, that hurts to see.

IMO I think they never understood why Laravel became popular in the first place. It wasn't because it's the fastest, but because how beginner-friendly it is and how easy it is to maintain and many other perks it has.

We have to take our surnames under control. What's the point of having a particular surname if you're not connected to it or people who had it in any way? If, say, your surname is “Taylor”, and you're not a tailor, then why have it in the first place? Change it to “Coder”! This is how English surnames always worked.

!dev

Well, it's time for a personal thing today, because I was hit with some shit today that I'm still kinda shook about.

So, as a bit of introduction (I've mentioned these in previous posts before but whatever, not everybody sees everything): I'm currently a senior in high school and I'm in the school's band (neither are too related, but a bit of setup for this story). I've been talking to a girl lately and I think I like her. She's fun to be around, kinda silly, and just great overall. She makes me happy and I like it. Her name is Grace, her sister's name is Taylor (just to avoid confusion later)

In the school's band, we play at home football and basketball games. Today was a basketball game. Normally when there's a game I just stay after school because I don't want to go home and come back a couple hours later, plus I like to hang out with some of the other people who do the same thing.

Grace was staying after for the game too. I was talking to her in the band room, kinda flirting a bit (on an unrelated side note, she's ticklish). Someone comes in the band room because he wanted to practice a bit, to get ready for the game. She's going back and forth between the band room and somewhere else (not too sure where she was). At one point I left to get a drink, come back, she's sitting next to him, just talking. I join the conversation, and her sister (Taylor) comes in, to get ready herself.

I go over to talk to Taylor for a minute. She looks at Grace and the other guy, then looks at me and just says "separate them". To which I said "...what? why? how?"

Me and her go outside the band room and she tells me that basically the guy has been cheating on his girlfriend with Grace, and it's just hurting everyone involved, except him basically. His girlfriend doesn't seem to fucking care, and he's done it before with someone else. (The other person actually like vaguely mentioned it to me a long time ago, but I didn't really know what she was talking about until now)

So basically, dude's cheating on his girlfriend with Grace. And I like Grace. Honestly don't know what the fuck to do. I want to do something because whenever something's going on with Grace, her sister always trusts me to make sure shit goes right. Some times when Grace wouldn't eat, her sister would always talk to me and ask me to make sure she actually eats.

Fuck guys. This stuff has been on my mind for the past ~4 hours and I don't know what to do, or if I even can do anything about it. I just needed to get this shit off my chest.

Sorry for the long personal story. Some parts I didn't really articulate very well. Honestly it was more of me just getting everything into words.

Taylor Otwell

Laravel is amazing

C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog. 

– Steve Taylor

iOS development: When Google didn't realise that you trying to start a serious development question dealing with the keyword "swift" and anoying Taylor Swift searchRequestBombs it. Anytime.

Hey Google come on, I'm interested in serious answers and not that kind of celeb rubbish bullshit 😡

And what the hell about Kim Kardashian ist that your kind of interpretation of objective-c or?

This story happened to everyone, and i am sure that if i search, i will find dozens of similar stories, but the different here is, i tried, i really tried, in a hundred different ways to achieve my goal !

When you are stuck on a problem, let's say, that you have a program, project, website ... and need to achieve something technically weird (or hard) and need some help to save you time on experimentations. The first thing a lot of people do is : Google.com && put search dorks.

But, at a moment, google gets "dirty", you use it so often that he always think to know better then you what you are looking for.

It reminds of "Ted", the movie (for thows who know it) where they asked : "Hey ! Why does google always suggest us to look for black dicks ??"

It is exactly what happened to me, i got results who doesn't have anything to do with what i was looking for !

You can give it a try now : type "semantic web RDF to RDB"

You won't find anything, except results related to : NOSQL DBs, which is totally annoying.

Something else, i once google swift to get some updates, what results did i got ? Taylor Swift ... (musician)

I often get 2 or 3 results from google, which made me thinking that i somewhat reached the end of internet, or that people are so dumb that i will have spend hours trying to figure my solutions, but, before doing that, other solutions had to be tested.

1- TOR : Google tracks his users and uses its algos and bullshits to return results as close as possible to the user's demand (big fail ...) so how about moving to a different country ? DL TOR browser, open, setup, go to US, open google (got us version YAY !) enter my keywords, and, nothing, still nothing, more results for sure, but nothing related to what i was looking for.

2- VM
Pop a VM, launch TOR, use Hidden mode, delet all cookies and stuff (it is a new VM but who knows).
Use keywords (now in UK). Here they are !! my results !!! i finally found some decent results about my keywords !

But, i have the required knowledge to do this kind of stuff, but how about people who rely heavily on google ? they can't change country, clear everything, trick google to think you are a new user, they have almost biased and flawed results. I tried duckduckgo (i love them) but they are not that efficient.

Google says not to anything evil, but they ARE EVIL, miss guiding people, suggesting corrections who have nothing to do with the keywords, or results totally unrelated in any way to the keywords while results exist in other countries ???

Ever since, i don't pay attention to google at all, and started thinking that google's algos are manipulating people, i don't know if it is done on purpose or not, but the result is the same, people have biased results based on their country, on their tag, on their ID, and the recent keywords.

During that period i was cursing google every funcking day, and i am still doing it, too much trackers, too much manipulation, i will end-up enclosing myself in darknet.

Me, when I figure I'm looking at the documentation of a different Laravel version and Otwell decided to fcking change shit again.

!dev
Since Robert Patterson will be the next Batman, why not cast Taylor Lautner as Jason Todd, Kristen Stewart as Barbara Gordon and Billy Burke as Jim Gordon.
If you do this, you better go the whole nine yards.

Not everyone's hostile, and I love this comeback from Taylor :*

Why don't people understand nuance?

No, I don't have a foot fetish. Yes, I would suck Taylor Swift's toes if she asked

Nice to meet you, where you've been? I can show you legacy code.
C, Python, Ruby and Node.
OMG, look at this line, pretty sure it isn't mine

What are some good wunderlist replacement in Mac? What note taking/todo apps are you currently using and why?

I have Fantastical 2 and Boostnote. Heard that Taylor Otwell uses Bear (not cross platform/apple eco system only)

Currently I'm checking/testing out Onenote Mac app and so far it is good. Next I'll check ticktick and any.do

Thanks! :)