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Search - "whoops got"
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Just before you, my fellow system programmer, scroll past this, let me say this:
🍬 The web is actiually simple. 🍬
Both HTML and CSS is declarative. It's all easy when you understand the concepts, learn how to be idiomatic and quit trying to do that imperative bullshit in languages that aren't imperative.
HTML is simple. You know the boilerplate: doctype, head, body, that's all. Just mark it up and do NOT look at it before you end, mark it up as it were article or something. The appearance is up to css.
CSS is simple. You may even forget bem or rscss, you're already a skilled software developer. Use common sense and your code-splitting and naming skills you gained reading The Code Complete or doing software development for years.
Forget mockups. Forget absolute positioning, forget setting width and height in pixels. Go to awwwards, find some inspiration. Draw some buttons and fields on paper with your good old pencil. Then go and write some css. Feel free to steal some shadows and transitions from codepen.
Read about 8-pixel grid system. Let every element push away from others by setting something like margin: 16px; and whoops! You've just got fully responsive and got great vertical rhythm without even using media queries!
Oh my god, do NEVER set width and height explicitly! Type something like button { width: 120px; } and bang! The entire web page is broken. Quit that shit. Let it resize as it should. It will resize itself to fit its contents.
HTML is by default ready for your template engine. That's how you receive data from server — as server-side rendered, plain old HTML page. On the other hand, the form element is the most axiomatic and simple way to send the data to server. That's how you send it — as plain old GET or POST that every webserver can handle.
All of there are true:
1. It's easy to get great 100% responsiveness without media queries.
2. It's easy to align items in row, it's just one line of css. Maybe two, if you still want elements to wrap, but want to use flexbox:
.parent {
display: flex;
flex-wrap: wrap;
}
3. HTML and CSS are fast by default.
4. You don't need mockups to achieve great visual experience. Mockups is imperative, web is declarative.
5. You may not even need JavaScript to make great website.
Go on, ask me a question about web! I'll ready to answer everything.21 -
Got really pissed off writing a stored procedure the other day because the reason behind it is absolute bullshit.
Gave sproc to QA for peer review before release.
QA: why are the variables called @FuckThisShit and @ThisIsBollocks?
Whoops, guess I was more angry than I thought 😂3 -
Just trying to change a folder's name on the SD card on my phone... Whoops
I once got it to say "0 out of 100TB" or so. Jesus8 -
>got 2TB storage upgrade for Xbox One S
>plugs in
>format went well
>queue up ganes to download to external storage
>all is fine
>whoops a game crashed and hanged the console
>force-reboot xbox
>OH MY GOD ALL THE GAMES ARE GONE ALL OUR SAVES ARE GONE EVERYTHING'S GONE
>well at least the saves are all cloud saves
>wait why are they not resyncing
>Turns out you can sync saves upward but not downward if you don't pay for Gold for ALL ACCOUNTS ON THE XBOX, and gold family share doesn't count
>mfw Microsoft is ransoming save backups now10 -
me: so can i use strlen?
intern: no!! you need it implement it!
me: *calls teacher* hey can i use strlen?
teacher: yeah, do as you please. who told u you can't use it?
me: *points at the other guy*
whoops i think i just got him in trouble today xd sorry not sorry, i want him gone so i can replace him hahaha jk4 -
I played a terrible game tonight... I'm secondary on call when we've been getting 2+ calls regularly. I went out with friends and just hoped I didn't get a call.3
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Not as much of a rant as a share of my exasperation you might breathe a bit more heavily out your nose at.
My work has dealt out new laptops to devs. Such shiny, very wow. They're also famously easy to use.
.
.
.
My arse.
.
.
.
I got the laptop, transferred the necessary files and settings over, then got to work. Delivered ticket i, delivered ticket j, delivered the tests (tests first *cough*) then delivered Mr Bullet to Mr Foot.
Day 4 of using the temporary passwords support gave me I thought it was time to get with department policy and change my myriad passwords to a single one. Maybe it's not as secure but oh hell, would having a single sign-on have saved me from this.
I went for my new machine's password first because why not? It's the one I'll use the most, and I definitely won't forget it. I didn't. (I didn't.) I plopped in my memorable password, including special characters, caps, and numbers, again (carefully typed) in the second password field, then nearly confirmed. Curiosity, you bastard.
There's a key icon by the password field and I still had milk teeth left to chew any and all new features with.
Naturally I click on it. I'm greeted by a window showing me a password generating tool. So many features, options for choosing length, character types, and tons of others but thinking back on it, I only remember those two. I had a cheeky peek at the different passwords generated by it, including playing with the length slider. My curiosity sated, I closed that window and confirmed that my password was in.
You probably know where this is going. I say probably to give room for those of you like me who certifiably. did. not.
Time to test my new password.
*Smacks the power button to log off*
Time to put it in (ooer)
*Smacks in the password*
I N C O R R E C T L O G I N D E T A I L S.
Whoops, typo probably.
Do it again.
I N C O R R E C T L O G I N D E T A I L S.
No u.
Try again.
I N C O R R E C T L O G I N D E T A I L S.
Try my previous password.
Well, SUCCESS... but actually, no.
Tried the previous previous password.
T O O M A N Y A T T E M P T S
Ahh fuck, I can't believe I've done this, but going to support is for pussies. I'll put this by the rest of the fire, I can work on my old laptop.
Day starts getting late, gotta go swimming soonish. Should probably solve the problem. Cue a whole 40 minutes trying my 15 or so different passwords and their permutations because oh heck I hope it's one of them.
I talk to a colleague because by now the "days since last incident" counter has been reset.
"Hello there Ryan, would you kindly go on a voyage with me that I may retrace my steps and perhaps discover the source of this mystery?"
"A man chooses, a slave obeys. I choose... lmao ye sure m8, but I'm driving"
We went straight for the password generator, then the length slider, because who doesn't love sliding a slidey boi. Soon as we moved it my upside down frown turned back around. Down in the 'new password' and the 'confirm new password' IT WAS FUCKING AUTOCOMPLETING. The slidey boi was changing the number of asterisks in both bars as we moved it. Mystery solved, password generator arrested, shit's still fucked.
Bite the bullet, call support.
"Hi, I need my password resetting. I dun goofed"
*details tech support needs*
*It can be sorted but the tech is ages away*
Gotta be punctual for swimming, got two whole lengths to do and a sauna to sit in.
"I'm off soon, can it happen tomorrow?"
"Yeah no problem someone will be down in the morning."
Next day. Friday. 3 hours later, still no contact. Go to support room myself.
The guy really tries, goes through everything he can, gets informed that he needs a code from Derek. Where's Derek? Ah shet. He's on holiday.
There goes my weekend (looong weekend, bank holiday plus day flexi-time) where I could have shown off to my girlfriend the quality at which this laptop can play all our favourite animé, and probably get remind by her that my personal laptop has an i2350u with integrated graphics.
TODAY. (Part is unrelated, but still, ugh.)
Go to work. Ten minutes away realise I forgot my door pass.
Bollocks.
Go get a temporary pass (of shame).
Go to clock in. My fob was with my REAL pass.
What the wank.
Get to my desk, nobody notices my shame. I'm thirsty. I'll have the bottle from my drawer. But wait, what's this? No key that usually lives with my pass? Can't even unlock it?
No thanks.
Support might be able to cheer me up. Support is now for manly men too.
*Knock knock*
"Me again"
"Yeah give it here, I've got the code"
He fixes it, I reset my pass, sensibly change my other passwords.
Or I would, if the internet would work.
It connects, but no traffic? Ryan from earlier helps, we solve it after a while.
My passwords are now sorted, machine is okay, crisis resolved.
*THE END*
If you skipped the whole thing and were expecting a tl;dr, you just lost the game.
Otherwise, I absolve you of having lost the game.
Exactly at the char limit9 -
Our school had for an open source way of dealing with home schooling and managing the school network and so on.
Now the government forced a "proprietary" system on our school and everyone hates it. The teachers didn't want it the pupils didn't want it but who cares "what we do is the best".
Btw the proprietary system costs a fuck load of money even though they just mixed many open source projects and made it their own proprietary thing.
And this company now get's loads of money for their shitty system that never really worked once since we got it.
They blocked so many ip's that we can't even access google and it's services on the school wifi and the bandwith dropped severely with the new system.
Oh and many random ip's e.g. one of my vps is accessible but the other one not.
Discord is blocked.
Web whatsapp.
And so on...
Now....
I need to learn for tests next week and need to access that stuff on the portal but...
Now they decided to switch the LDAP server to the new system and since a few hours i can't access this fucking thing.
It seems like the platform now contacts the new server which isn't even up and running....
Never change a fucking running system....
Oh and we got smart boards and it runs on android and they didn't block adb. Now i installed clash of clans on one of those things. Haha whoops.
These boards cost 7000€ and have security patches from 2 years ago....and Android 87 -
There were many issues that came about during my entire employment, but I woke up today with some, honestly, quite bizarre questions from my manager that made me open an account here. This is just the latest in many frustrations I have had.
For context, my manager is more of a "tech lead" who maintains a few projects, the number can probably be counted in one hand. So he does have the knowledge to make changes when needed.
A few weeks ago, I was asked to develop a utility tool to retrieve users from Active Directory and insert them into a MSSQL Database, pretty straight forward and there were no other requirements.
I developed it, tested it, pushed it to our repository, then deployed the latest build to the server that had Active Directory, told my manager that I had done so and left it at that.
A few weeks later,
Manager: "Can you update the tool to now support inserting to both MSSQL and MySQL?"
Me: "Sure." (Would've been nice to know that beforehand since I'm already working on something else but I understand that maybe it wasn't in the original scope)
I do that and redeploy it, even wrote documentation explaining what it did and how it worked. And as per his request, a technical documentation as well that explains more in depth how it works. The documents were uploaded as well.
A few days after I have done so,
Manager: "Can you send me the built program with the documentation directly?"
I said nothing and just did as he asked even though I know he could've just retrieved it himself considering I've uploaded and deployed them all.
This morning,
Manager: "When I click on this thing, I receive this error."
Me: "Where are you running the tool?"
Manager: "My own laptop."
Me: "Does your laptop have Active Directory?"
Manager: "Nope, but I am connected to the server with Active Directory."
Me: "Well the tool can only retrieve Active Directory information on a PC with it."
Manager: "Oh you mean it has to run on the PC with Active Directory?"
Me: "Yeah?"
Manager: "Alright. Also, what is the valid value for this configuration? You mentioned it is the Database connection string."
After that I just gave up and stopped responding. Not long after, he sent me a screenshot of the configuration file where he finally figured out what to put in.
A few minutes later,
Manager: "Got this error." And sends a screenshot that tells you what the error is.
Me: "The connection string you set is pointing to the wrong database schema."
Manager: "Oh whoops. Now it works. Anyway, what are these attribute values you retrieve from Active Directory? Also, what is the method you used to connect/query/retrieve the users? I need to document it down for the higher ups."
Me: "The values are the username, name and email? And as mentioned in the technical documentation, it's retrieving using this method."
The 2+ years I have been working with this company has been some of the most frustrating in my entire life. But thankfully, this is the final month I will be working with them.21 -
time to head into javascript code testing, as i'm annoyed af of testing everything by hand whether my feature works and find the cause to some problems i have encountered
.... but first let me "npm init -y" and "npm i jest" (as the tutorial suggests) real quick in my git project ... whoops😯😐😶🤨 ... woah, ok ... 5000 added files, shit, dependencies 🙄... delete all ... git error😐😥
delete folder manually😪😅
resuming paused tutorial: "and if you've got a git repository, just install jest globally, do not do this in your repo!"
.... just happened to me😑😅2