Dammit, just put the date somewhere next to the title when writing an article. It's amazing how much context might be missing if there's no date when dealing with software issues.

If you want a good laugh, just read into cryptocurrencies

#4 Worst thing I've seen a co-worker do?

Not a direct co-worker, during a fire drill, a call center manger told all the agents to ignore the alarm and keep working.

My manager needs his position renamed to mail forwarder.
Lossless pass through and no value add

I manage a team of engineers.

Toxic Culture Post #2:

Manager: Everybody on your team needs their own swimlane in Jira. Each person's work should be their own lane. When I have a ticket for <Project A> I want to make sure that <Bob> always gets it, all tickets for <Project B> must go to <James>. You'll need to figure out which team member will handle <New Project C> and create their personal swim lane.

Me: That's not really how SCRUM works. Actually, that's not how teamwork works. You're creating silos and we all need to learn how to do these tasks. We're a cross-functional team, and each team member brings their own unique talents to the whole process.

Manager: So you'll create the swimlanes?

Me: No

Manager (to Bob): You'll be devoted to <Project A> from now own. It's the only work I expect you to do. All work for that project will be yours.

Likewise, my manager also reached out to each team member and assigned them specific tasks, furthering the silos.

My bosses, bosses, boss asked to call me up unexpectedly:
BBBoss:" Just wanted to say we are really happy with your performance, especially in these tough circumstances, ... "
Me thinking: "Ah, great I am getting laid off."
BBBoss: " ... which is why we decided to give you and extra 1000$ in you next paycheck."
Me: "??? ... for real."
BBBoss: "yes, thank you for your hard work."
Me: "I am still employed?"
BBBoss (laughs) :"Yes, we are happy to have you."

Manager: You devs are constantly complaining about context switching, if you were on my level you would be able to multitask and switch from task to task without an— hold on I’m getting a text *tap* *tap* *tap tap* *tap* *send noise*

Manager: Right, what were we talking about again?

Dev: …

Dev: What do you think of the new version of the app?

Client: It’s great! We just have a couple notes of feedback we are working on compiling. We should have those to you by next week.

*Next week*

Client: We need another week to compile all of this feed back we are generating

*Another week goes by*

Client: Still working on it, it’s going to be a really thorough review when you get it though. No stone will be left unturned!

*2 weeks later*

Client: Here it is!

Attached: A word document with a single line of text “can’t nobody log in” next to a picture of the login screen with a red circle drawn around the login button

Client: Can you hurry up and action our feedback? We want to go live next week

Dev: …

When you have a 400 line PHP file and you want to add two new translations, please don't copy past it twice and put it into a huge if-else

I agree with everything you say, German man.

Offering pizza to go to the office. Like we are fucking children

this client couldn't figure out pagination.

and whenever items moved to next page

he could not find it.

He would create a new one.

When you ask for documentation and they hand you a Word document with screenshots of the changed code

Don't get bullied by your cloud provider. You CAN negotiate your contract with them, and you should.

Company: Bobby you saved the company millions of dollars this year!!! Great job.

Me: So...how about that extra 2k per year raise.

Company: Um well it just doesn't seem to be in our budget this year.

Work life balance. Ever heard of it?

[Certified CMS Of Doom™ moment]
Ah yes, the good old "generate a huge CSV just to know how many rows there are"

No-code platforms always like to forget that writing the code is *literally* the easiest part of software development 🙄

the truth is here

Now we wait and see if they make change this commit message 🤣

Let's start a holy war:
Tab vs Enter vs both for autocomplete / suggestions.
Please justify your choice.

devrant: tell us about your shitty co-workers
everyone:

When you ask a short question(in Slack) to your teammate that can be simply answered in Slack and they start a video call immediately after reading your question...

Now you have to stop music/video, clean the background...

The WP Gutenberg editor is really amazing. Clients can now fuck up their websites with much less effort. So yeah, IT IS FASTER.

Such joys in programming

This is so fucking relatable.
Everytime there's atleast one dumbass in the organisation who frequently does this exact thing.

I have an interview with a CEO and product owner next week for the position of principal developer. The job ad which got me here stated 'Any additional skills you have will be viewed favorably'.

I've had my ass burned by that crap at least once before. When they ask about private projects, I'm just going to say "I love my job so much, I do it in my free time too!"

I might quit my job again

Nothing pisses me off more than a manager that keeps demanding shit but when you ask for support they deny it from you. well guess what? two can play this game, bitch.

Your mama's so FAT she can't save files bigger than 4GB.