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AboutLove Algos ! C freak!
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SkillsC,C++
Joined devRant on 10/13/2016
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The problem with being a programmer...
I just broke up with a girl I've been seeing the past 2 months, that I was really into.
But in the end, it became a question of, either i'm with her, or I'm with my work.
I don't think that would happen with other professions, at least, not as easily.
I think, with other professions or projects, you tell someone "I need to work" and it's really fucking understood. "Ok, you need to work"
They understand it. If I was a lawyer.. I have a case. if I was a carpenter, I have a wall to build,
or a house. Etc. All understood things. Or physical things that can be seen.
But with programming, first of all, I work my own hours, I write software and then sell it. I do it all myself, I own my own business. I don't have normal hours like a job, but I do know my requirements, which is at LEAST 8 hours a day of solid, uninterrupted work.
If I had a "job" it would be like "gotta go to work" and that would be it.
But, because I work for myself, and because the things I build, aren't like something you physically see, nobody gets it.
My parents, as supportive as they are, will never understand how I just implemented a new design pattern and like, leveled up because of it.
They see software... buttons, and even then, when I try to explain what excites me, it's like trying to get a 3 year old interested in calculus.
How could they possibly understand the richness of what I do, how fulfilling it is
and how much I love it, when all they see
is me on a computer, clicking keys.
The same for this girl I dated.
The only place I feel where people understand,
is here.
Do you have any similar experiences to share?
Would love to hear it right now.35 -
About six months ago I decided I wanted to learn to write a neural network from the ground up, using only the C++ standard lib. Had to learn some linear algebra, multivariable calc and a dash of wizardry.
The mathematics of neural networks is still one of the coolest things I've ever learnt. It still marvels me that you can make a specialized mini-brain out of nothing but numbers.17 -
Dear YouTube tutorial makers, if you list your video as a tutorial doing something only to make people download a library of framework and then teach us how to use the library you can go fuck a cactus :-3
Every single video that interests me like building interpreters, new 2D game methods and the like all have no actual ground up programming at all... Ugh!6 -
I feel like a wild west cowboy drawing his revolver at laser speeds when I press ctrl + s microseconds before alt + tabbing and refreshing the page with F5.8
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Mac: Suddenly turns off
Me: Fuck my code..F***
Mac: No response at all
Me: reset SMC etc etc
Mac: I am dead (no battery detection, dies after 10 min on power adaptor)
Me: Skips a heart beat..(Git, oh yea git)
**Takes Mac to store, After diagnosis**
Apple Freaking Genius (AG): Your Mac has a mother board problem it needs to be replaced.
Me: Hmm what is the problem exactly??
AG: Issues in logic board and some other components.
Me: How much?
AG: Out of warranty so $$$ (60% of original amount)
Me: (wtf?) Really
AG: It's entire motherboard replacement .. bla bla
**Bring it home > open > everything seems ok on multimeter as per circuit diagram > finally finds a voltage drop that is not consistent > minute short circuit > remove > check further > nothing else > reassemble > hit power button > starts fine > freaking battery detected > works fine**
0 $ repair
Fixes two more devices @ 0 $ in friend circle
Builds a raspberry pi backup laptop with 3d printed body..Ubuntu.. you know can't live without a computer
#ThugLife #Engineer29 -
Hi, I am a Javascript apprentice. Can you help me with my project?
- Sure! What do you need?
Oh, it’s very simple, I just want to make a static webpage that shows a clock with the real time.
- Wait, why static? Why not dynamic?
I don’t know, I guess it’ll be easier.
- Well, maybe, but that’s boring, and if that’s boring you are not going to put in time, and if you’re not going to put in time, it’s going to be harder; so it’s better to start with something harder in order to make it easier.
You know that doesn’t make sense right?
- When you learn Javascript you’ll get it.
Okay, so I want to parse this date first to make the clock be universal for all the regions.
- You’re not going to do that by yourself right? You know what they say, don’t repeat yourself!
But it’s just two lines.
- Don’t reinvent the wheel!
Literally, Javascript has a built in library for t...
- One component per file!
I’m lost.
- It happens, and you’ll get lost managing your files as well. You should use Webpack or Browserify for managing your modules.
Doesn’t Javascript include that already?
- Yes, but some people still have previous versions of ECMAScript, so it wouldn’t be compatible.
What’s ECMAScript?
- Javascript
Why is it called ECMAScript then?
- It’s called both ways. Anyways, after you install Webpack to manage your modules, you still need a module and dependency manager, such as bower, or node package manager or yarn.
What does that have to do with my page?
- So you can install AngularJS.
What’s AngularJS?
- A Javascript framework that allows you to do complex stuff easily, such as two way data binding!
Oh, that’s great, so if I modify one sentence on a part of the page, it will automatically refresh the other part of the page which is related to the first one and viceversa?
- Exactly! Except two way data binding is not recommended, since you don’t want child components to edit the parent components of your app.
Then why make two way data binding in the first place?
- It’s backed up by Google. You just don’t get it do you?
I have installed AngularJS now, but it seems I have to redefine something called a... directive?
- AngularJS is old now, you should start using Angular, aka Angular 2.
But it’s the same name... wtf! Only 3 minutes have passed since we started talking, how are they in Angular 2 already?
- You mean 3.
2.
- 3.
4?
- 5.
6?
- Exactly.
Okay, I now know Angular 6.0, and use a component based architecture using only a one way data binding, I have read and started using the Design Patterns already described to solve my problem without reinventing the wheel using libraries such as lodash and D3 for a world map visualization of my clock as well as moment to parse the dates correctly. I also used ECMAScript 6 with Babel to secure backwards compatibility.
- That’s good.
Really?
- Yes, except you didn’t concatenate your html into templates that can be under a super Javascript file which can, then, be concatenated along all your Javascript files and finally be minimized in order to reduce latency. And automate all that process using Gulp while testing every single unit of your code using Jasmine or protractor or just the Angular built in unit tester.
I did.
- But did you use TypeScript?37 -
seniorDev has added the feature, which has got deployed. I thought added feature is not appropriate and i forced him to remove the feature. After few days, clients demanded same feature
Moral: respect SeniorDev.1 -
Got call from extremely angry customer, our product is shit and doesn't work. At all. Important customer so I went to visit.
He had the perfect setup, our product to the left, our competitor's to the right.
He connected the Ethernet cable to their product, it worked. He plugged it out and connected to ours... Nothing. Shit.
I started to debug on the premises, took logs, everything. It seemed like our product didn't receive any data at all. What the fuck? Tried everything, debugged low level, still nothing. Sweating as hell.
After two hours I got a strange feeling. So I swapped place, our product to the right, competitor's to the left. Now OUR product worked, competitor's zilch.
THE FUCKING ETHERNET CABLE HAD A GLITCH. IF YOU BENT IT TO THE RIGHT IT WORKED, IF YOU BENT IT TO THE LEFT IT WAS BROKEN.
I had never seen a customer be this embarrassed in my life. He apologized to me, my boss, his boss, the Queen, everyone.
We got the contract.20 -
buzzword translations:
"cloud" -> someones computer
"big data" -> lots of somewhat irrelevant data
"ai" -> if if if if if if if if if if if if if else
"algorithm" -> something that works but you don't know why
"secure" -> https://
"cyber security" -> kali linux + black hoodie
"innovation" -> adding something completely irrelevant such as making a poop emoji talk
"blockchain" -> we make lots of backups
"privacy" -> we store your data, we just don't tell you about it40 -
Me if there's no coffee at work:
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ I WANT COFFEE.
┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(°□°ヽ) I WANT COFFEE.
┻━┻ ︵ \\('0')// ︵ ┻━┻
I WANT COFFEE!
ಠ_ಠ Kurt...
ಠ_ಠ Put.
ಠ__ಠ The tables.
ಠ___ಠ Back.
(╮°-°)╮┳━┳
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ NEVER!24 -
Internship number two.
*walks downstairs to get a coffee*
*CTO (my guider) walks in*
CTO: (dead serious face) "linuxxx (not using my first name :P), come with me please"
*walks along to his office, starting to get reallly fucking nervous*
*CTO and me walk into his office, he sits down and looks at me very serious*
*I'm slightly shaking, nervous, sweating*
CTO: "So."
*oh yes here it is its gonna come I did something wrong fuck fml 😫😥😨😩*
CTO: "So you know quite some stiff around security/privacy. Could you tell me some stuff about why I'd want to use VPN and recommend me some good providers? 😀"
😅
*nearly falls onto the ground from relief*
I explained him some stuff and sent him a list of good providers 😀30 -
Me: PHP, please load the images.
PHP: No.
Me: Come on PHP, the deadline is tonight.
PHP: Haha nope.
Me: What if I swap the libraries?
PHP: Still no.
Me: What if I add a symlink?
PHP: No. And also I hate you.
Me: *gives up and sends an email to the client saying we have to delay the release*
PHP: lololol jk here's the images haha
Me: :/13