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AboutA rookie web/app dev
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Skillspython, django, react-native
Joined devRant on 5/27/2017
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This guy at my last internship. A windows fanboy to the fucking max!
He was saying how he'd never use anything related to Linus Torvalds because he hated him for creating Linux.
Two seconds later I saw him initializing a new git repo.
I was standing there like:
*should I tell him?*
😅😆65 -
Sit down before you read this.
So I interviewed a guy for a "Support Engineer" internship position.
Me and the team lead sit down and are waiting for him to enter, but apparently he's actually making a coffee in the kitchen.
This isn't exactly a strike since the receptionist told him that he can go get a drink, and we did too. It's just always expected for him to get a glass of water, not waste 3 minutes brewing a coffee.
In any case he comes in, puts the coffee on the table, then his phone, then his wallet, then his keys and then sits on our side of the table.
I ask him to sit in front of us so we can see him. He takes a minute to pack and tranfer himself to the other side of the table. He again places all of the objects on the table.
We begin, team lead tells him about the company. Then I ask him whether he got any questions regarding the job, the team or the company . For the next 15 minutes he bombards us with mostly irrelevant and sometimes inappropriate questions, like:
0: Can I choose my own nickname when getting an email address?
1: Does the entire department get same salaries?
2: Are there yoga classes on Sundays only or every morning?
3: Will I get a car?
4: Does the firm support workspace equality? How many chicks are in the team?
5: I want the newest grey Mac.
And then.. Then the questions turn into demands:
6: I need a high salary (asks for 2.5 more than the job pays. Which is still a lot).
I ask him why would he get that at his first job in the industry (remind you, this is an internship and we are a relatively high paying company).
He says he's getting paid more at his current job.
His CV lists no current job and only indicates that he just finished studying.
He says that he's working at his parent's business...
Next he says that he is very talented and has to be promoted very quickly and that we need to teach him a lot and finance his courses.
At this point me and the team lead were barely holding our laughs.
The team lead asks him about his English (English is not our native language).
He replies "It's good, trust me".
Team lead invites him for an English conversation. Team lead acts like a customer with a broken internet and the guy is there to troubleshoot. (btw that's not job related, just a simple scenario)
TL: "Hello, my name is Andrew, I'm calli..."
Guy: *interrupts* "Yes, yes, hi! Hi! What do you want?"
TL: "Well, if you let me fi..."
Guy: "Ok! Talk!"
TL: "...inish... My internet is not working."
Guy: "Ok, *mimics tuning a V engine or cooking a soup* I fixed! *points at TL* now you say 'yes you fixed'".
Important to note that his English was horrible. Disregarding the accent he just genuinely does not know the language well.
Then he continiues with "See? Good English. Told you no need to check!".
After about half a minute of choking on out silent laughter I ask him how much Python experience he has (job lists a requirement of at least 1 year).
He replies "I'm very good at object oriented functional programming".
I ask again "But what is your experience? Did you ever take any courses? Do you have a git repository to show? Any side.."
*he interrupts again* "I only use Matlab!".
Team lead stands up and proceeds to shake his hand while saying "we will get back to you".
At last the guy says with a stupid smile on his face "You better hire me! Call me back tomorrow." Leaves TL hanging and walks away after packing his stuff into the pockets.
I was so shocked that I wasn't even angry.
We both laughed for the rest of the day though. It was probably the weirdest interview I took part at.35 -
Client: When I hit the “Subscribe” button, it gives me an error.
Me: What’s the error message?
Client: The email field is required.
Me: Have you entered your email before hitting the “Subscribe” button.
Client: Oh, I have enter my email address?
Me: Yes
English is a very complicated language.7 -
My friend called me up once saying the new mouse he bought to use with his laptop wasn't working.
I told him to just plug it into the usb port and it should just work immediately.
After an hour of trying shitload of things I finally gave up and said I'll come over and have a look.
And there was his mouse.
Connected to a phone charger.
To a wall outlet.14 -
My last internship (it was awesome). A programmer developed a vacation/free day request application for internal use.
Asked if I could test it for security.
The dev working on it thought that was a very good idea as he wasn't much into security and explained how the authentication process worked.
I immediately noticed a flaw just from his explanation. He said it was secure anyways (with an explanation but his way of thinking was wrong in this case). Asked if I was allowed to show him. He said he was intrigued by this so gave me a yes right away.
For the record, user levels were normal user, general admin and super admin (he was the only super admin).
Wrote a quick thingy server side (one of my own servers/domains) for testing purposes.
Then I started.
Went from normal user to super admin (his account) through a combination of XSS and Session Hijacking within 15 seconds.
Explained him where he went wrong and he wrote a patch under my guidance 😃.
That felt so fucking awesome.5 -
There´s only one bad thing about switching to Linux:
You should´ve been using it from the beginning20 -
When people request you change your badass dark IDE theme to a white/light one during a presentation.5
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Just discovered that our student housing rental portal transmits our password in plaintext.
WHAT.THE.ACTUAL.FUCK17 -
:^)
For real though, to each their own in the end.
I accept MacOS for development, but Apple hardware is just price gouging.51 -
!rant
1. Person who passionately disagrees with you ++'d your comment!
2. Person who gets a response with a counter argument says "I had not looked at it from that angle before" instead of "That's mainstream propaganda, I hope you die of cancer"
Just two reasons why this community is amazing.
You actively inspire me to be a bit more sweet than bitter on the internet.10 -
I fucking hate CNET already. I mean who likes a website which autoplays a video everytime you visit them, with 200% volume.
But this time, I am just so fucking annoyed. Here is the title of an article:
"iPhone 8, X's wireless charging is a game changer for Android"
And the subtitle:
"When it comes to Apple, plenty of Android phone makers are monkey see, monkey do."
FUck you motherfucker. "Monkey see, monkey do". Are you fucking kidding me you cunt?
Remeber your 3D touch bullshit? Your fucking wireless charging will be bullshit too.
"the rest of the phone users make do with messy cables."
Maybe you're a fucking imbecile who doesn't know how to manage simple cables and ends up with broken wires.
You know who looks like a monkey? Some apple users who uses that shitty looking wireless earphone, which looks like monkey's dick you asshole.
Fuck off!18 -
Hired a new backend Dev. He writes a script and sends it for testing...
Tester: "It's not working..."
Backend Dev: Goes to Mongo and deletes the tester's whole profile...
I cant control my laughter every time I remember this incident...He claimed it was a mistake, I don't think that it was a mistake...the tester had it coming...
"It's not working" that's all he says every time...I mean at least give me something to start with...!4 -
yo guys! im making a raspberry pi claw machine and thought it would be fun to log my progress as i go along, so i made a blog post explaining how to build one! if anyone wants to check it out, you can find it at http://www.alexdovzhanyn.com/blog/110
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There are things that i wish i didn't see.
Yesterday, i went to a coffee shop to relax and reviewing my works. And suddenly a college friend of mine approach me and we started talking about work.
Me: So, What do you do at work? What's your stack?
Him: Not much of a new. Still working with wordpress, html,css and jquery.
So he started talking about how cool wordpress is and how he generates money doing sites.
Me: Can i see your sample works?
Him: Sure, *opens his shitty windows laptop with Web Tech stickers*. and handover his laptop to me.
Me: Woah. the design is so neat (I'm lying). But it's freaking slow man(REALLY FVCKING SLOW).
* I decided to open the devTools and inspected the source code. And I can't believe what i saw.
- 20+ images with 2~4mb file size
- 13 unminified javascript files with variable declarations that looks like minified.
- CDN's of bootstrap, foundation and semantic UI
- LOTS OF FVCKING PLUGINS
* I didn't told him what i saw. I just turn over the laptop to him and finish my coffee.
Him: My sites are cool right? I have a lot of pending projects right now. Easy money Bruh!
Me: Wow. *sips* coffee. and say goodbye to him and walkout.
I FEEL BAD FOR HIS CLIENTS!4 -
Without even talking to me, why the fuck did you announce that I would be taking the project manager role. Who the fuck wants to do that monkey job? What the fuck is fucking hell wrong with your fucken brain.
You bloody piece of shit with masters from university and can’t handle fucken projects and client’s. Clients are complaining to me about you. Whole day looks for women to fuck during the night while we are dying virgin over here. Fuck you and I wish your dick falls apart.9