I GOT A JOB OFFER!!! IM OUT OF THIS FUCKING HELLHOLE!!!

🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

7/4/2018

I can never read this date properly

Is this 7th april
Or is this 4th july????

Fuck your american date format

Dev1: I started work at a new company.

Dev2: Cool, how is it?

Dev1: Well its ok... but they are a bit weird.

Dev2: How weird.

Dev1: Very weird, they round my pay to 1000 insted of 1024.

Dev2: Yeah weird.

Visited my parents again today!

Arrived home.

Suddenly my sister starts to talk about the new dutch mass surveillance law and how it's all bad and the possible consequences.

😶😐😮

Normally I'm the one who says that and is told to shut up after a while.

I'm a proud brother!

Who is capable of?

Boss: “Our YouTube channel doesn’t look at all like our website.”

Me: “I’ve made it look as close to our branding as YouTube allows for with its limited editing controls.”

Boss: “This is unacceptable. I expected more from you.”

Me: “I cannot accept the blame for this. YouTube is setting the design parameters for all channels and I can only do so much.”

Boss: “You can call the YouTube, can’t you? Why didn’t you call them?”

Me: “.......and ask them....what?”

Boss: “You don’t ask! You tell! Our company has been around for 140 years. Our brand name carries that weight. They’ll change their design to what we need if you’re assertive enough.”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s just not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.”

Client: We have a HUGE security problem.

Me: *thinks about any possible vulnerabilities* What is it?

Client: A user can take a picture of our website and steal our content.

I’m done for today.

Person: Check out this “savage” file!

Me: Huh?

Person: *Shows SVG file*

🙄

So everyone is showing their setup, I thought why not share mine.

when its linux birthday

"Windows is shit because it is non-free"
Says the Apple user

For the love of Arch Linux 😍😍😍

Linux distributions.

Just saw how Git confirms UTF8-Support... with an UTF8-Character. 👍

5 reasons I love devRant

1. I can't understand the point of Facebook. And it has such a shitty UI, but devRant has a beautiful despite it is complete JS

2. It doesnt have 140 char limit.

3. It is 99% english.

4. Trolls and script kiddies are rare here.

5. It is fairly lightweight.

======================

1 reason I hate devRant

1. Total waste of time.

Recruiter: And I found your devRant account, it’s @brod right? very interesting stuff.
Me: ...

Watched this movie called Unthinkable where the guy who is supposed to defuse the bomb is typing gibberish into Excel 😂😂😂

When code is more important than life

Always

Hot fix of a production bug!

The real truth.

This guy at my last internship. A windows fanboy to the fucking max!

He was saying how he'd never use anything related to Linus Torvalds because he hated him for creating Linux.

Two seconds later I saw him initializing a new git repo.

I was standing there like:

*should I tell him?*

😅😆

Prof: Okay guys, i need a flash drive to put a copy of your next project.

Me: *pulls out a flash drive and sho-..*

Prof: except you, I dont trust you.

*client calls*
"hello, we forgot the password to our WiFi router. Could you reset that for us?"

😐😶😮😅

"We host websites and servers sir, we don't control your router :)"

"Right, i thought so, nevermind!"

Well, that's a new one O.o

My dumb CEO just hired an even dumber CTO. The new CTO asked me the following questions...

1. What is GitHub?

2. What is JSON?

3. What’s an array?

4. What is Get and what is Post?

5. When an iPhone is offline, can it call an API on our server to tell us it’s offline?

6. I know you’ve spent 11 month the writing this backend in PHP but can you change it to Java now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because it’s better.
Me: How?
Dumb CTO: because it is.

7. I know you’ve started to rewrite this codebase I Java but can you convert it to Node.JS now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because Facebook uses it.

8. What is MySQL? Why aren’t you using a database instead?

9. What does NULL mean?

Somehow, I doubt that asshole is remotely qualified for the job.

Fakin shyt for brains.

🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

500 kbps hotel wifi my ass. I hijacked the smart TV's Ethernet connection and voila: 100mbps

Definition of good UX :P
Kappa...

Any Rick and Morty fan here?

Tv hacker: I'll write code to hack their security cameras

2 seconds later

Tv hacker: I'm in

Me: go fuck yourself you fucking fuck