I developed a web application.

I did not test it in IE.

My dumb CEO just hired an even dumber CTO. The new CTO asked me the following questions...

1. What is GitHub?

2. What is JSON?

3. What’s an array?

4. What is Get and what is Post?

5. When an iPhone is offline, can it call an API on our server to tell us it’s offline?

6. I know you’ve spent 11 month the writing this backend in PHP but can you change it to Java now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because it’s better.
Me: How?
Dumb CTO: because it is.

7. I know you’ve started to rewrite this codebase I Java but can you convert it to Node.JS now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because Facebook uses it.

8. What is MySQL? Why aren’t you using a database instead?

9. What does NULL mean?

Somehow, I doubt that asshole is remotely qualified for the job.

Fakin shyt for brains.

"Give someone a program, you frustrate them for a day; teach them how to program, you frustrate them for a lifetime." - David Leinweber

//socially acceptable objectification
//of women
public class Woman : Person
{
}

//I'll see myself out.

!rant

I promoted duckduckgo to friends on Facebook and got them in a discussion about it. People generally are fairly receptive (with one annoying uncle pointing out the irony of posting it on Facebook xD).

One mentioned it was difficult to switch because Google was "just there", so I pointed to instructions on how to make it default.

Also enticing them with theme changes.

Feels good. Next to teach them how to use proxies :p

meta rant: I categorised this as a rant/story, mainly because it is related to tech, should I have just done "random"?

It's friday, don't forget to push your code before you go home 😊

System.out.println("lol");

*slaps him*

self.age++

Source: /r/ProgrammerHumor

It changed my life, really. 😁

"There are only two hard things in Computer Science: cache invalidation, naming things and off-by-one errors." - Phil Karlton

Quick tip: ! means NOT. So !rant is a post which isn't a rant. !question doesn't indicate that the post is a question, but rather the opposite (and therefore there isn't really a need for that tag). You might also see something like !!rant which is the same as writing rant (that tag is also unnecessary, considering the name of the app)

I feel with you, poor FrameLayout ☹️

Just got this slack from our server admin.

When you UPDATE without WHERE.

Copy-pasting code from StackOverflow and hoping that it works straight away

The learning curve tho

Can't believe The Onion has a GitHub account 😂😂

fartscroll.js

Everyone farts. And now your web pages can too.

Staying up past 2am makes me make weird things

How web server works. Brutal reality simply explained. #symfonyCon

!n case someone is unfamiliar with this joke ::

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, *"But how'd you know?"**

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

When the documentation is just perfect👌👌

I literally laughed out loud

Fake bug fix

Me: **posts 🔥rant**
Me: **gets flood of devRant notifs**
Coworker: "What push API are you testing?"

😉

How??

Yeah no

Kill me now

got it somewhere on the net