This passes all unit tests

i, j and k declared as globals. You fucking moron.

Enough is enough. This has happened for the last time! >:(

You know you're lazy af when you get the error "filename already exists" for "ghsgsgsggsjj.jpg"

Italian chef: We have the best spaghetti in the world
PHP developer: I doubt that

Me: lets make some fun thingie
Me: i need a random word api for this
*searching*
*absolutely none*
Me: ok ill just make one
Me: https://random-word-api.herokuapp.com/...

Me, 3 hours later: i never actually made my original idea

I don't know if anyone else here uses kik but there's something that's been bugging me for a while
Occasionally (frequently) bots start a conversation with you (the typical "come visit my porn website etc etc), right? Now, this has happened to me at least 20 times now, and EVERY single time, the bot's profile picture has loads of translucent yellow stars edited in, and I have no idea why
I can't think of a possible explanation for this, and I've put a lot of thought into it
Attached is a cropped version of what I mean

*taking a shit*

Apple Watch: Time to stand up!

sUrE

I made a simple HTML site for watching Google I/O live without all the ads that third party websites try to stuff up your face. It also has the official countdown from the event website 👌 (The countdown will disappear as soon as it runs out)

Check it out at adless-io.firebaseapp.com

Dude: Come on man, Google and/or Facebook are not actively listening to us, I mean, we're not terrorists.
Me: Ok, Google
Google Asistant: How can I help you?
Dude: ._.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

How long does my beard have to grow before I'm allowed to code in flip flops?

*dev wants to find FFmpeg docs
*dev starts typing "FF"
*SwiftKey reveals dev's true personality

Quote of the day:
“Don‘t ever miss a good occasion to shut up!”

Hey, have you ever wanted to punch a developer 8611 times before?

Don't use git

When you don't read the documentation for a new programming language...

Me: "Delete this file."
Windows: "Someone is using it."
Me: "Who?"
Windows: "I can't say."
Me: "I checked using a utility. It says your file explorer is the one using it!"
Windows: "Well, I had to show a preview."
Me: "Why?"
Windows: "Because you selected the file to delete it!"

Credit: https://twitter.com/cmuratori/...

How I get through these days?

Learn CSS GRID.
It’s like 42. The Answer to everything.

- Knock, knock

- An async function

- Who's there?

Being a programmer on a non-tech startup company is not too bad. That means aside from coding:

- You have to check if the office printer works
- You need to figure out why the phone lines aren't ringing
- You have to teach a stupid colleague on how to unzip a file
- When they give you a task, they'll say that it's "not urgent", but, they just "need it by tomorrow"
- You have to be a "mind-reader" because if something goes wrong, they don't know how to describe what's going on. Or probably, they're just too lazy being specific. They'll just say, "Hey, I have a problem.", and you will be like "What problem? Your dog is sick? You shit your pants? You lost your faith in God? Fuck what?"
- You don't have a time to "focus", because everyone interrupts you for just about anything related to "technology". Yeah, because you're the IT guy
- You always have learned and applied the latest practices/stacks, but no one gives a fuck
- You will start to re-think your life and devrants make you feel better

I had a secondary Gmail account with a really nice short nickname (from the early invite/alpha days), forwarded to another of my mailboxes. It had a weak password, leaked as part of one of the many database leaks.

Eventually I noticed some dude in Brazil started using my Gmail, and he changed the password — but I still got a copy of everything he did through the forwarding rule. I caught him bragging to a friend on how he cracked hashes and stole and sold email accounts and user details in bulk.

He used my account as his main email account. Over the years I saw more and more personal details getting through. Eventually I received a mail with a plaintext password... which he also used for a PayPal account, coupled to a Mastercard.

I used a local website to send him a giant expensive bouquet of flowers with a box of chocolates, using his own PayPal and the default shipping address.

I included a card:

"Congratulations on acquiring my Gmail account, even if I'm 7 years late. Thanks for letting me be such an integral part of your life, for letting me know who you are, what you buy, how much you earn, who your family and friends are and where you live. I've surprised your mother with a cruise ticket as you mentioned on Facebook how sorry you were that you forgot her birthday and couldn't buy her a nice present. She seems like a lovely woman. I've also made a $1000 donation in your name to the EFF, to celebrate our distant friendship"

My goal in life as an android man: convert every single person I can from Samsung or iPhone to either pixel or Nexus

Converted 3 so far and they all say they won't go back to modifed Android or iOS :-D

It's.. Reality

The symbol nails it!

My co-worker committed his gmail password today.

I made a speedcoding video and its really fun to see just how fast can you make yourself code something that works.

https://youtube.com/watch/...

Here, ill probably make more later.

*Me Calling the NSA..

[NSA]: Hello, how can I help you !
[ME]: Hello, this is the NSA right?
[NSA]: Yes
[ME]: Since you are recording all phone calls, I have a little request.
[NSA]: And What is that?
[ME]: My mom called me couple hours ago to bring something from the supermarket, her phone is off.. What did she told me to bring?
[NSA]: beep..beep..beep

Fuck 2018

Recursion 😃