The stand-in for the person who normally runs the daily standup meeting (who is currently on leave) asked me today in front of everyone in standup if I've updated my notes. Fuck. Off.

So, I decided to be cheeky and add a comment to the daily standup notes automation task in our project management software that we should just include all of the recipients of the daily status update email in our standup meeting every morning, this way we don't require a OneNote space to update as well as an email.

If they tell me that's not the purpose of standup, then hopefully someone will realise what they've been doing all along.

Let's see how that goes lmao.

Client: We are tired of having to go only to specific users to get things actioned, we need everyone to be given admin access so that we can get work done efficiently

Dev: Highly do not recommend that *outlines the likely consequences*.

Client: We don’t care, we DEMAND you do this. We’ll make sure everyone is careful.

Dev: Ok but I warned you. Please submit this request in writing.

Client: Ok, not sure why you would need that. I told you everything would be fine.

*Not even two days later*

Client: HELP!!! OUR DATA IS NOW COMPLETELY MESSED UP. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WOULD HAVE CAUSED THIS IT’S AS IF EVERYONE IS RANDOMLY DOING WHATEVER THEY WANT HOWEVER THEY WANT IN ORDER TO SUITE THEIR OWN NEEDS. IT MAKES NO SENSE HOW THIS HAS OCCURRED. I TOLD EVERYONE SPECIFICALLY TO NOT CAUSE ISSUES!!! WE NEED THIS FIXED A.S.A.P!!!!!!

Dev: …

how to get high with python ?

So I told my wife one week ago: "Yeah, you should totally learn to code as well!"

Yesterday a package arrived, containing a really beautiful hardcover book bound in leather, with a gold foil image of a snake debossed into the cover, with the text "In the face of ambiguity -- Refuse the temptation to guess" on it.

Well, OK, that's weird.

My wife snatches it and says: "I had that custom made by a book binder". I flip through it. It contains the Python 3.9 language reference, and the PEP 8 styleguide.

While I usually dislike paper dev books because they become outdated over time, I'm perplexed by this one, because of how much effort and craftsmanship went in to it. I'm even a little jealous.

So, this morning I was putting dishes into the dishwasher, and she says: "Please let me do that". I ask: "Am I doing anything wrong?"

Wife responds: "Well, it's not necessarily wrong, I mean, it works, doesn't it? But your methods aren't very pythonic. Your conventions aren't elegant at all". I don't think I've heard anyone say the word "pythonic" to me in over a decade.

And just now my wife was looking over my shoulder as I was debugging some lower level Rust code filled with network buffers and hex literals, and she says: "Pffffff unbelievable, I thought you were a senior developer. That code is really bad, there are way too many abbreviated things. Readability counts! I bet if you used Python, your code would actually work!"

I think I might have released something really evil upon the world.

Due to Coronavirus (COVID19) all TCP applications are being converted to UDP to avoid handshake.

Credits to internet.... Which one your organization prefers

Who wins?

Presenting: my weather app (not made by me).

https://play.google.com/store/apps/...

"The Fucking Weather"

When life hands you lemons,
create a startup to market lemon juice
as a healthy, low-carb alternative to
lemonade.

> Underfull \hbox (badness 10000)LaTeX
FUUUUUUU Latex!

I don't care about the badness of my hboxes, cause I'm a badass myself.

At least the document looks nice.

BREAKING NEWS

MICROSOFT OPEN SOURCES CALCULATOR

For the Danish, Danish-speaking, and Danish-understanding ranters:

Når du bliver spurgt om et estimat på noget du ikke har en jordisk chance for at estimere foreløbigt:
https://youtube.com/watch/...

What would be a good response when somebody asks what is the best language to learn?

I'm honestly seeing this in all of the newbie forums and they never agree on anything

Really? Minecraft is under 25MB?

Whatcha thinkin ?

Certified Professional Scrum Master - I 😊

When there is no coffee beans in the office and/or the different ways of making coffee is not working that day.

Guys what are your thoughts on Pop!_OS by System 76? I'm thinking about switching, but I'm reluctant about it in fear of driver and stability issues.

https://system76.com/pop

Left this at the Apple Store. I bet next time I go it will still be stuck on it 🙄

Girl: hello this is amazon support center, hope you're feeling great today, how are you?

Me: im good...

Girl: glad to hear that, how may i help you?

Me: a few moments ago i was on... sigh, actually im not good im extremely sad right now because i was scammed on my amazon account for $250, im calling to ask if that product can be charged back.

*literally 30-60 seconds of silence*

Me: .....hello??

Girl: ok sir ill give u another line to call please dont hang up ok? stay with me

Me: maam im not doing suici

Girl: +1-532...

Me: ...

Tl;dr any tips for new scrum team ? How to start with story points with people that dont know eachother?

More:
Its for our team project at uni ( 8 people 1 year). Yesterday we had our first meeting and the hardest part was asigning story points. Or asigning some benchmark value for story point.
Looking for some practicall tips since uni gives us all the theory we need. ( Does not mean I know all the theory :D )

Do you even use arch?!

My step mother told me she has an old laptop from which she wanted to extract the email address book. I highly doubt of them (less than 20) are still up to date. Some of them are from dead ISPs 😰

I'm honestly surprised about the immediate respond times and that it still works pretty well.

I don’t know who to give credits to but I found it around somewhere. Just wanted to share.

Go to this place on maps https://goo.gl/maps/8HUBBxJuvaS2

There's a link to their webpage, click the link, download the file and open it with a text editor.

Wtf 😂🙄

Tag your favorite devrant user ... GO!

...i just remembered why I have a MasturbatorPattern repository on my bitbucket, why is it named that way, and what it does.

It's one of the core abilities of that magical AI i've mentioned in my previous rant. And it's called that way, because of how it works:

The Agent has some objects (as in, class instances) available to it, and wants to get some other kind of object. So it inspects by reflection ("touches") all objects around itself, inspecting their public functions, building up a plan/path/tree of "this function takes the object I have as input, and returns this other object which this other function of other object takes as input and returns this different object, which...." etc, etc, until the final function returns the object the Agent wanted to get in the first place.

And then it goes and "does" all those functions, in that order piping the parameters through.

So first it touches them (second layer of metaphor - linux finger command), and then it does those which output (ejaculate =D) something useful to it.

Therefore, MasturbatorPattern =D

Not sure if my sense of humor is just weird or outright unfunny.

Luckily TempleOS is NOT affected by the recent Intel "bug"

https://reddit.com/r/linux/...

But can it run Crysis?

Rule 1: Don't dare fucking touch my monitor!