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Joined devRant on 12/7/2016
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lol someone went systematically through my posts and downvoted each of them, i'm down like 200 points from weeks ago
imagine caring that much
"he who angers you controls you"
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡20 -
You were hired, not adopted.
The company is not your family.
The office is not your home.
And your boss is not your friend.
You owe nothing there beyond what you are being paid for.5 -
I’m getting really tired of all these junior-turn-senior devs who can’t write simple code asking ChatGPT to solve everything for them.
I’m having to untangle everything from bizarre organization/flow to obvious gotchas / missed edge cases to ridiculously long math chains (that could be 1/10th the length), or — and I feel so dirty for this — resorting to asking ChatGPT wtf it was thinking when it obviously wrote some of these monstrosities. Which it gets wrong much of the time.
“ALL HAIL CHATGPT!” Proclaims the head of Engineering. “IT’S OUR PRODUCTIVITY SAVIOR! LEVERAGING AI WILL LET US OUTPERFORM THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY!”
Jesus fucking christ.29 -
I just bought hitgub.co
Honestly have no regerts about it.
Idk what to do with it, but I'll figure it out.12 -
TL:DR: I'm terminally addicted to Tea.
I have been drinking tea twice every day since 6th grade. I'm almost 30 years old now.
One day I decided to quit tea altogether. And at 6 PM that same day, I started to lose color from my eyes. The whole world turned black and white.
At about 7:30 PM, severe depression kicked in and I started questioning why the hell I wanna keep on living and not end it all.
At that point I ran to the kitchen and made tea and drank it. 2 mins after that I started to see colors again and the depression went away.
It's kind of funny now that I look back at it.20 -
My 1000 job applications tiktok journey may come to an end soon
Had 2, now I cant believe i have 3 (or 4) interviews from 3-4 different companies scheduled day after day, or hour after hour depending on schedule i choose. All of them are very interested in hiring me. For 7 months i couldnt find a job and almost no one wanted to interview. Ever since i went to the Church for Easter to pray, all of a sudden 4 new doors opened to me 1 week later, all in 1 week...13 -
Some empty-headed helpdesk girl skipped into our office yesterday afternoon, despite the big scary warning signs glued to the door.
"Hey, when I log in on my phone, the menu is looking weird"
"Uh... look at my beard"
"What"
"Just look at this beard!"
"Uh.... OK"
"Does this look like a perfectly groomed beard"
"Uh... it's pretty nice I guess"
"You don't have to lie"
She looks puzzled: "OK... maybe it could use a little trimming. Uh... a lot of trimming". "I still like it though" she adds, trying hard to be polite.
"I understand you just started working here. But the beard... the beard should make it clear. See the office opposite to this one?"
"Yeah"
"Perfectly groomed ginger beards. It's all stylish shawls and smiles and spinach smoothies. Those people are known as frontend developers, they care about pixels and menus. Now look at my beard. It is dark and wild, it has some gray stress hairs, and if you take a deep breath it smells like dust and cognac mixed with the tears caused by failed deploys. Nothing personal, but I don't give a fuck what a menu looks like on your phone."
She looked around, and noticed the other 2 tired looking guys with unshaven hobo chins. To her credit, she pointed at the woman in the corner: "What about her, she doesn't seem to have a beard"
Yulia, 1.9m long muscled database admin from Ukraine, lets out a heavy sigh. "I do not know you well enough yet to show you where I grow my unkempt graying hairs... . Now get lost divchyna."
Helpdesk girl leaves the scene.
Joanna, machine learning dev, walks in: "I saw a confused blonde lost in the hallway, did you give her the beard speech?"
"Yeah" -- couldn't hold back a giggle -- "haha now she'll come to you"
Joanna: "No I already took care of it"
"How?"
"She started about some stupid menu, so I just told her to smell my cup". Joanna, functional alcoholic, is holding her 4pm Irish coffee. "I think this living up to our stereotype tactic is working, because the girl laughed and nodded like she understood, and ran off to the design department"
Me: "I do miss shaving though"68 -
Dear project managers.
Go fuck yourselves, stop hindering me in my ability to do my job. My job is to get the job done, I know exactly what exists where. If I request something, fucking get me it you useless cunts.
You're wasting time and resources with your lack of technical knowledge and making life difficult for the rest of us.
Sincerely, Frustrated Developers everywhere. -
A client called me today saying their custom website I built for them is down. It just shows a 403 error now. They said they just wanted to update the prices. I asked what changes they made before it crashed. She said, "I couldn't figure out how to change the prices, so I just installed Wordpress, and now it doesn't work!" They completely deleted the entire website using cPanel and replaced it with a partially installed Wordpress.🤦19
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Manager: We do not identify as a tech company so don’t expect tech company salary increases this year
Dev: Well don’t expect me to bring a tech work ethic then
Manager: !!5 -
God was able to create an entire world in just 6 days for the sole reason that he had no previous versions and no compatibility issues.🌍7
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The Manager kept masturbating over "low hanging fruit".
The apples on the bottom of The Product have all been picked.
The apples at the top are starting to rot.
The Manager masturbated a bit more over the low hanging fruit.
The bottom of The Product is now so slippery with Manager Cum that the brave engineers can't reach the top anymore.
Time to bring my axe to work.13 -
Ok you fucks that don't believe in documentation - me included.
Document your shit, because one day, one day some dumb fuck is going to have to recreate your over engineered bullshit of a system and scale it up.
What would fucking be useful right now is ANY god forsaken insight into what in the flying fuck your code is doing, or not doing, or why it makes queries to a database with no fucking records in it 🤦♂️ and then attempts to use that data... in case it did exist.
There's nothing like unpicking a mess of bullshit, and documenting it, and then have to remake it on a new platform.
Documention saves lives kids, maybe your own life one day😬16 -
Putting mobile phone to DnD.
Putting on Bluetooth headsets with ANC, blasting some good shit music.
Violently cooking or desperately ordering food at the good restaurants.
While waiting, grinding some coffee beans, making fresh coffee or some nice tea with milk.
Laying on the sofa in a food induced coma, turning on any streaming service with the real bad shitty movies.
Hentai Kamen, The Machine Girl, ...
Anything thats either pure groteske bullshit or that doesn't require more than a braincell cause it appeals either to the violent or complete nonsense side of my brain.
Last but not least, a few cold beers.
ANC headset stays on, just switching from music to tv - shutting out all the outside noise.1 -
!dev
God I’m having the hardest time focusing on my task, it just seems so inconsequential compared to the shit going on in the world.
Here in my own country we’ve got issues with the government and their desperate grabs at power, citizens rights being trampled all over as if they mean nothing.
Of course the conflict in Ukraine I can’t peel my eyes away from the Reddit world news feed.
The explosive inflation worrying about the cost of food fuel and rent.
Diesels not cheap, and the electric company wants to spike up the price of already over priced electricity by 10%.
I’ve got a trip coming up which I’m thankful for but it’s expensive and money isn’t getting any easier to come by.
I’m genuinely worried about what the WEF is attempting to accomplish and the amount of power they hold over the western world.
And with all that in my mind…. The work in front of me of updating this stupid game to modern standard and refactoring it to actually make sense and be maintainable… just seems so fucking pointless.1 -
My internship is extremely boring, I've worked at a company for four days and I've only had 2 tasks which took about 15 minutes each! What should I do tomorrow?8
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My websites contact form got a submission from some "manjeet" offering me his freelancing services, together with previous projects, where he apparently delivered and... has a login backdoor that he advertises to others to check out?.. with credentials etc.
Also got flagged with "It contains a suspicious link that was used to steal people's personal information. Avoid clicking links or replying with personal information."5 -
This is why you DONT deploy in a Friday!
Now can we all agree to stop disagreeing!
Ps: I love CommitStrip sometimes.2