"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

- DoS Attack

Big event. Massive traffic in production, so we were monitoring all night.

I was in a room with 2 devs of my team, a marketting girl, my boss and a designer... chilling.

Suddenly the production is down.

Boss: production is down, anyone can check?
Me: already on it
Dev1: it looks ok for me
Dev2: me too
Me: wait what? Impossible everything is down
Dev1: oh I refreshed the page it's not working
Me: don't stay on the page refreshing it like you are fucking monkeys. Give me useful intel or be quiet.
Market girl: is it working?
...
Guys is it working?
...
Hello?
Me: Not yet we are looking. Don't distract me.
Boss: client called us. They want it online now.
Dev1&2: he's looking
... 1 min later...
Boss: is it working?
Boss: is it working?
Boss: is it working?
Me: SHUT THE FUCK FOR FUCKING ONE SECOND. ALL OF YOU, OUT NOW. YOU ARE FUCKING MONKEYS WHO CAN'T DO SHIT. IF YOU CAN'T HELP JUST SHUT YOUR DAMN SHITHOLE. DEVS, LOOK WITH ME. MARKET GIRL PREPARE A FUCKING POST-MORTEM MAIL. BOSS GET THE CLIENT ON THE PHONE AND STALE. DO. YOUR. FUCKING. JOBS.

That's how I ended up screaming at everyone... the rest of the night went in complete silence and I fixed the issue 2min after the got quiet or busy.

This is either bad UI design or intentional bad faith.

It's 2018, web developers, let get our tools on..

non-IT friend: I still don't understand what is"hardware"

Me: it is the part of the computer that you can kick.

10k miles
NY to JKT
US to ID
Dev to Dev
Thanks devRant team!

When you trying to make a youtube Downloader............ and also new to php

When you fucked up, but everything is working.

Credits to my son.

Tv hacker: I'll write code to hack their security cameras

2 seconds later

Tv hacker: I'm in

Me: go fuck yourself you fucking fuck

I'm just really bad at finishing anythi

Dear Websites,

If I have to go through a fucking slideshow or even multiple pages to see your content, I won't be on your site for more than 5 seconds.

Sincerely,
Everyone

Im lost...!!! And what am I even doing...???

Just finished installing Deepin OS on my old laptop as an attempt to get familiar with linux (coming from win10). It looks gorgeous, I got at least four orgasms from the installation process alone. And it comes with lots of cool apps preinstalled (Chrome, Spotify, Steam, etc). So far I'm very happy with it.

! rant
Just wanted to introduce you to my best friend, who's with me everywhere. He sits (well, he sleeps more) next to me when I'm programming and is obviously also responsible for security.

I admit, he needs a haircut :)

I have to admit I didn't expect that...

I do not know how new it is, cause I noticed it now... but the new homepage is beautiful!

www.devrant.io
@dfox @trogus

Good doggo

You want a good rant?
Here have a look at this -
http://motherfuckingwebsite.com

Code I wrote: 15kb
NPM Modules: 198Mb

Working at PornHub

PHP Superpowers!!!

God is one of us

The bugs have learned to hide

Installing Nvidia drivers in Arch linux right now. Tell my family I love them.

Website design philosophies:

Apple: "...and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and..."

Microsoft: "border-radius:0 !important;"

Google: "EVERYTHING MOVES!!! And most websites get material design. Most."

Amazon: "We're slowly moving away from 2009"

Wix: "How can we further increase load times?"

Literally any download site: "Click here! No, click here! Nononono!! Click here!!..."

Facebook: "We can't change anything because our main age demographic is around 55"

University websites: "That information isn't hard enough to find yet. Decrease the search accuracy and increase broken links."

HTTP response code cheat sheet
(From /r/Programmer humor)

Sooooo. I saw this.

So when everyone is posting their setup. Here is mine with two 34" monitors (curved) and some LEDs because no lamp did fit on the desk anymore :D

I hope it works now because it didn't upload the image the last two attempts...

lol, this made my day

HOSTEL WOULDN'T NOTIFY ME ON THE MAIL BUT LET SOME MOTHERFUCKER STEAL IT AND LEAVE THE COVER RIGHT THERE 😡
WAITED FIVE FUCKING MONTHS FOR THIS 🤒