“The trick is learning not to give a fuck about it”

Got a mail from a recruiter.... offering me a role in a company......where I'm currently working....in the said role.

Manager: This code you wrote violates the single responsibility principle!!

Dev: How so?

Manager: You have one function that you call in *MULTIPLE* places. That’s too much responsibility for one function! Functions should only have one responsibility!! Creeping the scope of a function beyond that is a TERRIBLE way to write code!

Dev: But why spin up multiple functions that all perform the same thing?

Manager: Well if a function has a bug in it and you use that function multiple places then that bug exists everywhere you use that function. If a function only has one responsibility then if it has a bug that bug will only exist in the single place it is called! You really should think first before asking questions like that.

Dev: …

Fuck you, I Quit

Imagine implementing PHP scripts which execute shell commands defined in URL GET query params on your customer's dedicated server without any basic authentication or similar. The only security is by barely obfuscating it's URL.
I think I've seen it all now...

mkdir <name here>

I ran across this middle school question on Facebook and the most common answer is 9.... I try to have faith in humanity. I really do.... just so its clear (I assume if you're a dev you understand the order of operations and I'm not talking to you), the answer is 59.

TIL Java class file's magic number is literally 0xCAFEBABE

I am a female manager at a small, mostly male company, and directly manage several people (all male). One of the six has worked for me for multiple years. Since he began his employment, I always felt he had a “crush” on me and kept my distance (as much as I could as his manager).

His crush has gotten increasingly more obsessive over the past year: constantly staring at me, using absurd reasons to contact me through email/messenger/texts, whether at work or evening/weekends, and getting extremely emotional/upset if I do not frequently talk with him or provide feedback for his every task. He never says anything inappropriate or makes any advances but is making me increasingly more uncomfortable.

My tendency to avoid the employee combined with my obvious annoyance with his increasingly absurd reasons to interact with me is reflecting poorly on my management skills — to the extent that my manager is questioning my abilities to manage.

Dude on remote meeting: -cough- -cough- I don't really feel that bad, I'm pretty sure i'm not contagious. I might come in.

Don't be that guy people (even outside of the COVID timeline...).

Fortunately he didn't come in so no harm no foul.

........

A few months ago, I changed my laptop from Windows to a dualboot of Windows and Linux (NixOS). Since then, Windows has never seen the light of day.

Best decision I've ever made - Windows is useless.

So a porn company just bought the vidme domain and set up a redirect for all old vidme urls.

As a result, many websites like the Washington Post got porn videos embedded on a couple places.

This is so fucking hilarious. Maybe there's a slim chance they learn the lesson and stop shoving shitty autoplaying videos into their news articles.

https://vice.com/en/article/...

Manager: You use linux? Why?? I’ve only ever used windows and it’s the best of all the computers in my experience. It contains everything anyone needs: email, meetings and the internet.

I am backend + a bit devops
8 months I worked with front-end person in react.

8 months he was telling me.. git usage is not needed for front. There is no need for that, it is not like back.
Recently he made refactorization in a week time, this idiot did not do even single commit in the process.

4 months he was telling me, testing is not needed in front. Even if the work is complete, there is no point to cover with testing.

Today I heard from him, adaptive web design is impossible to do in css only, it needs having javascript to control right height and width size for elements.

At last. I got freed from him. He got fired.

"Serverless" be like

The intern pushed their credentials to GitHub...

... again

Is this normal?

Just experienced a mental breakdown from studying for college exams. Today june 1 2021 i dropped out of college because nothing and nobody is worth more than my mental state

Jr: I'm having a problem with my environment, can you help me?

Me: Sure! Did you switch to the latest Ubuntu LTS
so that your environment matches the rest of the dev team like you were asked to do the last 3 times?

Jr: No, I like Windows better because linux is too complicated. Can you just figure out how my environment is suppose to work and than fix what I did wrong please?

Me: No. Let me know if you ever need help with the our standard dev environment. Good luck!

I had an old rant somewhere about the most unproductive meeting I’ve had.

It was when I joined a new team. I was asked to hold a meeting to solve the issue of why nothing gets done on time and nobody showed up to the meeting on time including the manager.

Ok, it's one of those days.

I prefer the best ones. The worst ones usually aren't very good.

"years of experience" basically means nothing, both for people and organisations. You can work with someone who has 30 years experience who knows nothing, and someone with 1-2 years who's practically an expert.

Joined a large multi-national fresh out of college, that had been around for +90 years. I expected them to know software development inside and out. Didn't expect to see so many failed projects for stupid reasons, so many over sights, so many .... morons, to be honest.

Worked for a startup company where most only had 1 or 2 years more experience than me and learned so much.

Worked for a small company where everyone had 1.5 - 2 times my experience, where I learned the meaning of "bewilderment".

Never feel small, or less valuable because of a number. Theres a good chance you are working with jackasses - practiseSafeHex

- Genie!
- Yes lord?
- Please make Mendix modeler Linux compatible so I can remove fcking Windows os
- "insert shocked Pikachu meme here"

Worst coding interruptions are, by far, instant messages. Especially messages I don't care about. People who tag an entire channel when they shouldn't. The Diversity and Inclusion channel that everyone has to join that tags the entire channel, all 2000 members, at least once a day to share some blog post nobody wants to read. Other employees sending "Hi" to me and expecting an immediate response even though I don't know what they want yet. People who think Slack is an alternative to our support ticket system.

I am often tempted to just sign out for the day, but unfortunately some of the messages are actually important...

I feel like a lot of us write code without thinking it through beforehand. I spend more than half my day working everything out via diagrams on paper or lucidchart or with a coworker/previous maintainer (if applicable) before line #1 of code is written. Ideas are to code as source code is to build products - the latter is made (essentially by rote) from the former.

I'm glad I work from home thanks to 'rona, but before that, gah. Everyone else was visibly grinding away, and here I am staring into space thinking about the problem/project I'm working on. I'm not gonna sit there all day debugging code I once rushed. There's a reason the sites I maintain stay up and untouched by hackers (I think, you can never be sure...).

You can't put a fucking login wall when I try to unsubscribe from your newsletter, you fucking asshole.
The reason I want to unsubscribe is because I don't fucking care anymore, which means I don't remember my password, and can't login and unsubscribe because you, fucking bastard, made a not working password recovery just to let me give up and never unsubscribe.
It's been 3 years… leave me alone.

I'm so fucking done with all those "woke" YouTube programming tutorials like: "Why you should NEVER use else statements", "Why functions should ALWAYS return a value", "Why switch statements are actually EVIL" and stuff like this
I swear to fucking god

Guy: *hands me sheet of paper* What does this code do?
Me: *looks through code written on the paper* Well, most likely segfault.

*awkward silence*