After being hired as a PHP programmer, I have been assigned my first Java project

Do you use programming fonts with ligatures?

Ran into a girl who I had a crush on in high school at a bar last week. Hanged out for a bit, but then I had to run catch the last train home.

Today I get a message from her that reads: "Hey, it was nice to meet you last week. Can I call you some time, there's something I want to tell you. 😉"

I think to myself -- sweet and say that I have no meetings today, call me whenever you can.

A couple of minutes later she calls me, and the first thing she says: "I have this app idea..."

fuck, shouldn't have hyped myself up.

So, I took 4 weeks vacation. I planned to finish so many projects and learn so many stacks.

First 3 weeks:

Boss - gives tasks to me. Timeline: 10 days.

Me - work hard and finish the solution in 3 days.

Boss- wtf is this. Do it properly.

Me - chills for 15 days. Submit the same earlier solution after that.

Boss - yes this looks nice now! Much better than your earlier work!

Me - dude seriously what kind of stuff do you smoke before coming to work?

Last year I built the platform 'Tindex'. It was an index of Tinder profiles so people could search by name, gender and age.

We scraped the Tinder profiles through a Tinder API which was discontinued not long ago, but weird enough it was still intact and one of my friends who was also working on it found out how to get api keys (somewhere in network tab at Tinder Online).

Except name, gender and age we also got 3 distances so we could calculate each users' location, then save the location each 15 minutes and put the coordinates on a map so users of Tindex could easily see the current location of a specific Tinder user.

Fun note: we also got the Spotify data of each Tinder user, so we could actually know on which time and which location a user listened to a specific Spotify track.

Later on we started building it out: A chatbot which connected to Tinder so Tindex users could automatically send a pick up line to their new matches (Was kinda buggy, sometimes it sent 3 pick up lines at ones).

Right when we started building a revenue model we stopped the entire project because a friend of ours had found out that we basically violated almost all terms.

Was a great project, learned a lot from it and actually had me thinking twice or more about online dating platforms.

Below an image of the user overview design I prototyped. The data is mock-data.

- Girl: I don't understand how some people can be so foolish and decide to study computer science.

- Me: Hm, true. So what did you study?

- Girl: Tourism and sports science. And you?

- Me: Nothing. I'm a truck driver.

My GF, an iOS QA, went for an interview with a large enterprise and was rejected.

Interviewer: Your current application is hybrid or native?

GF: Native, because it is written in swift using native iOS SDK.

Interviewer: Does it use internet?

GF: Yes.

Interviewer: It is a hybrid application if it uses internet. You know nothing about your projects. You are rejected.

GF: 😯

It all makes sense now...

So the devDucks arrived today and the dog is more excited than I am. He's been staring at the box the whole time.

- what's your idea of "the perfect date" ?
- me : YYYYMMDD

!rant

What is your hobby beside coding? Here is mine: https://soundcloud.com/mmuo

What if Doctors are treated as developers?

Posted a Google form link for recruiting interns for my startup. Here's the response I got

When your code game is strong

A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday.

Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?

Source: Twitter @cryptomanran

Masturbation

when you check the commits to see who wrote shitty code

Oh no!

Go home code, you're drunk.

Life saver

When someone pays for WinRAR !!

My wife: “Commit, then come to bed.”

How internet works nowadays.

3 consecutive fuck rants.
Algorithm knows what I like. 😳

Clearly right now... Just spent 2 days writing a minesweeper clone because I wanted the ability to undo.

It's almost done... aka 10+ hrs...

User interface: 5/10
User experience: 10/10

.push-up-bra {
margin-top: -25%;
overflow: visible;
}

If you somehow managed to install Mac OS on a raspberry Pi, does that make it an Apple Pi?

I'm sorry, I'll leave now...

Indeed a concern...