surprise API

Manager: We need to setup the security in the Mexico server

Dev: You mean that 3rd party firewall add on?

Manager: Yes

Dev: And set up the billing on the Mexico account?

Manager: Yes

Dev: lol, sure thing I’ll create the ticket

Manager: What’s so funny?

Dev: Nothing

Ticket: Build wall and get Mexico to pay for it.

divorce

Learned bash scripting age 17 for the sole purpose of automatically downloading porn using wget.

I got my moment.

HR sent around updated contracts asking everyone to sign them since the company changed its name, fair enough.

In the contract it stated "Your normal place of work will be X" - only X was many miles away, and I'd never worked there, never planned too. Assumed it was a mistake, sent it back. HR refused to change it, stating that the "normal place of work does not need to be the place where you normally work."

A lot of back and forth entailed, I refused to sign, I was reprimanded for not doing so, I was asked what my problem was as it made no material difference, and then I eventually replied with:

"Angela, I'm refusing to sign this as it's factually incorrect. No further explanation is required. I'll maybe consider signing this if you sign a piece of paper declaring you believe the moon is made of cheese, and you're the cow the milk came from to make it."

A very strongly worded email came back about how this was going on my record, I needed to offer a formal apology, etc. - all cc'd to my manager. I replied back, again copying my manager in, stating that this was ok, as I couldn't remain at a company who forced employees to sign dodgy contracts anyway.

Problem was (for them), I was a *massive* single point of failure for them at this point owing to some others leaving with no handover - hence I knew I wasn't going to be the casualty here. My manager flipped the lid at HR, got the CEO involved on threat of *him* leaving, and the whole thing massively blew up. Happy ending in that the HR person in question was fired, everyone else's contracts also had to be redone (I assumed everyone else just signed without looking which is worrying), and I actually got a pay rise out of it when higher ups realised the massive single point of failure I was.

But damn, I would've walked over crap like that. Walked pretty soon after anyway!

bad chrome....

java --version
FATAL: Unknown parameter

java -v
FATAL: Unknown parameter

*googles get java version*

java -version
openjdk version "1.8.0_252"

FUCK YOU

Found a Google employee in street view getting lost and using paper map .. There are also seem to be 2 guides with him...

I find it kinda amusing

Hell yeah!

What is the fascination people-- especially old people --have with desktop icons?

You guys are getting paid?

Meanwhile our php

Don't burn bridges, just burn the company. 🔥🏢

On a scale of 1-10, how lazy are you when it comes to prototype code?

Me, well I'm a 'fuck it lets just wildcard anything that is a child of a GLib objects'

Don't be like me kids...

EDIT: Yes i know it should have been an override void

*This morning*
HR Lady: we saw your profile and we think it fits what we're looking for, I just need to know what you use for front-end programming

Me: I use ReactJs, AngularJs and for backend NodeJs

HR Lady: Hmm, so you don't use Javascript

Me: ... (unhandled exception in my head)

Me: M'am everything I mentioned is using Javascript

HR Lady: oh! ok.

God I'm immature.

sad story

Frame your code

To all those web developers who load their entire fucking website in JavaScript - even on fucking news articles where JAVASCRIPT ISN'T EVEN FUCKING NEEDED, and top it off with a heavy as shit framework, BURN IN FUCKING HELL!!!

Saw a McDonald's today that's asking to be hacked - their menu sign's IP address is right there on the bottom of it (original image at https://i.imgur.com/P3sFGHE.jpg):

Woman couldn't reach the login page of her hosting account.

After 15 minutes of debugging she found out that her Internet wasn't turned on.

This shit is the fucking reason why I drink alcohol.

A really sad story.

Did someone find this setting already?

— Why do you want to work at our office in Mexico?
— I want to be a señor developer.

Everything has gotta have a maintenance break every once in a while!

Chinese app programmer fights product manager for asking the app UI to "change color according to user phone case"

Why have I never thought of this ..😆

Governments should use a public git for their laws

Perfect meme