Noice🙂

True story 😂

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"CLICK HERE TO FUCK THIS FUCKIN HOT HENTAI BITCH IN THE PUSSY WITH HER BIG FUCKIN JUICY TITS AND BIG ASS AND EXPERIENCE THE BEST SEX VIRTUAL GAME OF YOUR LIFE IN THIS AD"

Me: *sends email 45 minutes before a meeting*.

Boss: *20 mins into meeting*, any updates about the issues found yesterday?

Me: Yep I sent an email with an update on everything.

Boss: ok great, *shares screen*, *opens email*.

Ok want to walk us through it?

Me: ...... walk through my email?

Boss: Yeah we have everyone here in the meeting.

Me: ...... yeah I included all of them on the email.

Boss: Right, but it would be good to go through it for everyone’s benefit.

Me: *Reads email word for word, from the screen share*

I will now refer to him from this day forth as “The Time Vampire”.

Laughed more than I like to admit

Hell yeah

Q: Why did the functions stop calling each other?

A: Because they had constant arguments.

Boss: "I don't want to comply with the GDPR"

Me, DPO: "I've told you the house rules. You must comply, stop arguing"

Boss: "But I don't want it. Bobby doesn't have to, and Eve doesn't have to, their moms are cool"

Me: "I don't give a crap about the other kids, you're going to be GDPR compliant. Bob and Eve will end up being raped in prison. It's that what you want?"

Boss: "What if I just pretend to do it."

Me: "I'll take away all your marketing toys. No more mailchimp for you young man."

Boss, crying: "You wouldn't touch my Facebook pixel!"

Me: "Especially your Facebook pixel. I'm so sick of that thing...."

Me: "...Look, you can still play with your toys, all I'm saying is you need to be honest and ask your buddies for consent before you put your pixels up their various holes"

Boss: "But they will never agree!"

Me: "Maybe that is good thing"

Boss: "But how will we get people to like us if I can't feed them pills and insert probes into their holes to measure their responses?"

Me: "Maybe you should focus on being a nice kid, someone people like to play with. Your buddies will tell other kids that you're a nice guy. Now, I'm not going to lie to you, it will be hard work. Much more effort than what you're doing now. But you know, those friends will stick with you for decades, instead of just until the marketing-drugs wear off"

Boss: "I think I want a new mom"

Me: "You signed a contract. You're stuck with me for the next 2 years. And as long as you're living under my roof, you will follow my rules."

YOUR MAMA SO FAT SHE CAN'T STORE FILES LARGER THAN 4 GB.

I'll show myself out.

Dug out my 15 yr old childhood PC today, the stickers back then were surprisingly honest

The same procedure as last project?

The same procedure as last project!

Me: *clicks sign out*

Yahoo: "Are you sure you want to sign out?"

Me: DID I FUCKING STUTTER!?

A girl has no name...

Just was at a company which had that. I smiled.

When job profile says : want honest and hard-working intern

Project handover:

"Mmh okay, so what about test coverage?"

Dev: "zero"

Team taking the project "why???"

Dev: "You don't need test if you write perfect code"

Silence in the room... Followed by awkward laugh.

Just bought:
Ryzen 7 1700x, ASUS PRIME X370-PRO, 16GB RAM and a Noctua NH-D15 SE.
€610 total

Developer in a nutshell

Me if there's no coffee at work:

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ I WANT COFFEE.

┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(°□°ヽ) I WANT COFFEE.

┻━┻ ︵ ＼\('0')/／ ︵ ┻━┻

I WANT COFFEE!

ಠ_ಠ Kurt...

ಠ_ಠ Put.

ಠ__ಠ The tables.

ಠ___ಠ Back.

(╮°-°)╮┳━┳

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ NEVER!

rantBlock: Replace browser ads with rants. [more details]

The world will become a much better place when Apple goes bankrupt.

If my code was a picture :D

!dev

Sucks how the society pressures people into to stupid, irrational shit.

For the last time, I DO NOT WANT TO HOP THE BANDWAGON.

while(1) {
head.bang(table);
}

JavaScript is new the PHP.

Reading a stackoverflow question about async functions and await-usage, and lot of well-intended answers show no understanding of the concept. Some fail to understand that the scope is about promises. They don't know that, yes, *every* async function *always* returns a Promise and that within an async function it's synctically the same to do either `return x` or `Promise.resolve(x)` or `return new Promise((resolve) => {resolve(x)}), and they fail to realize what await does or doesn't do and are oblivious about how awaiting at certain stages can have huge performance impact when compared to either Promise.all or Bluebird.map.

Grasping promises is hard in the beginning, I get that. But please don't share your lack of understanding as fact.

Being forced to pick up C in college after learning C++ for 2 years...

Hey Mm...Morty. What are you doing?

Oh gee Rick, I’m just...you know...using Linux and telling the internet how that makes me better than them.

Morty, you rr...realize that it...it...doesn’t matter what OS you use Morty. Y...y...you’re still a piece of shit Morty. I can prove it...burp...mathematically Morty. In the grand scheme of the universe...y...y...you are a bubble sort algorithm surrounded by quick sorts Morty.

Oh gee Rick.

good one

It seems like the project I'm tasked to tweak last edited when I was 4 years old... 😏 I doubt is there any dinasour alive who used that generation's technology. :P