Always remeber:
The interview goes both ways. Ask the interviewer how he likes to solve problems, and how he works with ppl. This will give you the information to decide if you want to work with him or the company.
This is especially effective on HR: ask about thier corporate culture and how they deal with promotions/good people and how they deal with bad people.
And make sure you visit glassdoor.com before the interviews begin.

If you are a freelancer don't trust the client.

NEVER!

//Todo means never do

Why on Earth would an API require me to provide input like this?

{"this": "{\"is\": \"not\"}", "how": "{\"json\": \"works\"}"}

😡

When you just saw a random kid playing games you made

My girlfriend comes in and sees me on devrant.

GF: "What is that app? I see you using it all the time. Is it like an endless blog with updates?"
Me: "It's kinda like facebook. But for developers. And you don't have any friends".
GF: "That seems like a sad app"

What's with all the C, "C, C++, Objective C & C sharp?"

If I make a language it'll be named C flat or C natural

Dev Superpower: The ability to name things.

I need new friends.

Me: Just Google it..

Friend:
Opens browser (home page is some ad-riddled crap)

Types "Google" in address bar

(Google search page opens)

Clicks first result (google.com)

Types search query.

Me: 😶🔫

So true

Successfully resolved my first merge conflict WITHOUT destroying the whole project.
#eleventh-time-lucky

One day a client sent me gifts and a sweet letter just because they loved their new website so much. I just about cried. I work in an industry where acknowledgment and thankfulness by clients are extremely rare. 😱😭

I'm one of the few lucky ones to have a coder as my girlfriend! So technically this isn't even a rant! Just a statement of Happiness LOL! 😎

Boss: "JS, Java, Objective-C all have Class, so they have the same convention"

yeah both you and shit have weight

"If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution." - Robert Sewell

Today I found out that I could inject HTML into our documentation system.
I quickly tested it with the <style> tag by setting all paragraph tags to have eye bleeding red backgrounds.
Then when seeing that it works I've made a modal that displays a blinking red alert with the headline "Access Denied!", a loading bar that says "Tracing intruder IP..." and another line "Erasing confidential information.. .".
Then I've added an animation to run on all paragraph, heading and list tags - first they bounce and then the become transparent.

Then I asked one of the interns to go to that specific document - one of the longest and most important manuals they have access to.
I then left the room and through a window watched the poor, panicking guy looking into the abyss and "realizing" that he somehow deleted the important files and will be traced down soon.

I had to tell him the truth to avoid a suicide in the office.

It was perfect! I will definitely do this to others! :D

Just saw a recruitment post for a female speaker to join a female panel at a "women in tech" event. And it's by an organisation called "codelikeagirl". 😒

As a female developer, it gives me the upmost cringe to hear about any #women or #girlpower events. Do you really need to validate your ability and support because of your gender? Men don't go to #menInTech events, so why do you need to go #womenInTech events?

On the surface it seems all friendly and gender equality fluff. But if you segregate yourselves into an all exclusive group, isn't that the opposite of what your trying to "achieve"?

Selecting the music to code to. As a matter of fact I just wasted more than an hour looking for the right song and now I am wasting more time ranting about it on devRant.

My employer bought some new 40" 4k displays to the office. The want us to evaluate if they are any good, and if so replace all monitors... No real developers has one, only HR people sitting there with one huge window with office or word open!! It makes me cry! And they will most likely say they are too big!

When everyone left the office I tried one... OMG, i need this in my life! 😍

This is my desktop for 42 hours every day.

It's not that I hate PHP, I just hate the lack of consistency in standard function naming and parameter order, nonsensical attribute access, nearly-meaningless comparison operators, reference handling, case (in)sensitivities, and more!

I mean, look at these functions:
strtoupper(...)
bin2hex(...)
strtolower(...)

And look at THESE FUNCTIONS:
array_search($needle, $haystack)
strpos($haystack, $needle)

array_filter($array, $callable)
array_map($callback, $array)
array_walk($array, $callable)

And let me jUST USE SOME ATTRIBUTES:
$object->attr = "No dollar sign...";
Class::$attr = "GOD WHY";

HOW ABOUT SOME COMPARISONS:
(NULL == 0) // true
(NULL < -1) // ALSO true

Functions AREN'T CASE SENSITIVE (at least variables are).

Wanna dereference? TOO BAD, YOU'LL HAVE TO GET OUT THE TNT.

Alright, yeah, I hate PHP.

*sees rants about pressing ctrl+s too many times/in the wrong window*

*works in Intellij*

Me: What is a "ctrl+s"...?

Now I'm no designer but I once had a client complain about the colour of his footer because it was grey and he didn't want grey he wanted "light black"

Why do people (Some devs too...) bloody hell think that devs have Hard time fixing the Semi Colon issue, we have a lot of other issues to figure out, like the Structure of Data, Code Fragmentation, API Creation, Invalid Data Handling, Injection Prevention. But no, since we are developers, we are having sleepless nights because of one fucking semicolon? FUCKING NO, it hardly takes 30 seconds to figure out that there is a missing semi-colon. Really People, stop the ; thing!

When you finally get the team running on git and your boss gives you a bitbucket to commemorate

🤔
I think "Velop" should be a word.

Velop - to break software
(velopers would be muggles/stupid users?)

This would give the word "developer" a new meaning.
No?
Okay

Deep Thought Rant

It's funny how the world works these days...companies only looking for "senior *something*" developers to work...

Mentorship and internship also do matter. What's happening?...sure you can contribute to open source but having a mentor also helps. Working as an intern allows one to see not only tech bit but workplace environment. How to deal with deadlines, feeling good and wasted at the same time when one bug that took a 3 minutes to fix but 3 hours to find, presenting your work; well what's working only, being bashed when it's your fault or not (even though that sucks), learning from your mentor and so on

Are their companies that still do this?

My dad was a computer engineer, taught me a bit, my high-school boyfriend (now husband) studied computer science, and I studied liberal arts. I couldn't get a job but got at job at my husband's startup. I learned a lot on the job and started doing tutorials online and I am the only person in my MA cohort with a job. Always been comfortable in the tech/dev world but didn't get into it myself until last year.

This is the Best explanation I have ever received. Go on now, share this to the noobs!

Which one are you? I'm a mix #fullStack 😎