Made my day 😂😂

Haha 😂 all day

Well played Google Assistant...

Me: *puts small piece of tape over webcam*

NSA: Okay guys, shut it all down. No way we can record from the microphone, log keys, access the file system, USB devices, network data or watch the screen. He did the tape.

CS graduates that have never gone beyond "Hello World", fuck college and it's "system".

So the actual victims of the story are friends of mine, CS colleagues, but I can't help but share as the existence of code freeloaders enfuriates me.

At college in order to graduate you need to present a project in form of a thesis a side from your actual thesis, there is a shortage of pre-approved projects and everyone wants one.

A talented friend of mine who has many years of programming experience got in one with another friend of mine and a lady who I've never seen before. One Saturday night my friend and I were having some beers at a local bar and his phone didn't stop beeping so I jokingly said:

"Bro, tell your girl you need some space", he laughed and explained it was the chick from her project having some "issues" with node.

"So? Tell her to google it, it's Saturday night", he explained the girl has never coded before even though she's about to graduate so she had take it upon herself to pressure him to finish ASAP so she can graduate and get an already agreed position at the federal energy commission... As dev!

I've seen my bud in a lot of dumb calls with said chick trying to explain how you CAN'T COMPILE THE NODE WEBSERVER TO A .EXE!

It frustrated me how such an idiot can go through a CS major buying homeworks and getting low self-esteem geeks to code for her. Then I realized that as an aspiring InfoSec guy, lazy idiots coding is good for business.

"Only show work you like, or you’ll end up being hired to do things you don’t like." - Victoria Pater

Decided to use elementary OS for 2018, wish me luck

Once I had a client that asked me to develop a website using Ruby on Rails but he wanted the routes to end with .php

Until now I don't understand why.

Shibe drill ready in N/a seconds

Client...

Plot twist

!dev

Train operator: "Dear Valued Passanger: GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE DOOR OR LEAVE MY TRAIN."

At least it was what he'd like to say, based on his voice :/

Lost 6 hours of my life today due to a comma. Just another day at the office.

This is what happens when I'm asked to document something.

Busted

Every user who's Smartphone is neither one year old nor will be getting Version Upgrade

This is a real project.

Had a good laugh on this one

[via https://twitter.com/ElleOhHell/...]

You say they are looking for me, but when i contact them they pretend like they dont even know me.

while we were in the car...

mom: so what are u doing in your new job? you code in java?
me: no, i code in javascript, html, css and php..
mom: so thats java. how nice.
me: no, its javaSCRIPT.
mom: theyre still the same.
me: java and javascript are not the same
mom: but most people use java so why dont u just do it in java?
me: thats what ive been asking myself too in the past few weeks, why did i even accept this job

Me watching Bitcoin price and regretting not investing in it

User interface: 5/10
User experience: 10/10

Wait, there is a bug in high sierra making it possible to log in as root without a password. What the fuck? How does this shit even happen?

If EA had developed their own Programming Language:
Iteration DLC ~20€
Condition DLC ~15€
Connectivity DLC ~12,99€
Gold Edition ~120€

Best joke I have read this week...

When you talk to other devs about what their code did. I also relate myself to this.

How internet works nowadays.

Not buying bitcoin in 2008

At my study in the first year we had a Linux course and at the end we would all be graded.

Everyone was nervous as fuck except for me.

We had to go in one by one and everyone came back with this 'well that was damn close' face. Apparently the teacher was quite strict.

Then it was my turn.

It took about half an hour and we did the following:

- talk about Linux and the philosophy behind it
- talk about compiling programs
- talk about Linux servers
- talk about what distro's we'd used
- talk about DE's and which ones we preferred

- actual grading/showing my assignments: 'nah I believe you, you'll get a good mark!'

So I basically got the best mark with hardly showing anything because the teacher knew I could do it and rather just had an interesting convo with me 😁

That was good beer