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When you fuck something up with a customer and you very nervously apologize and they come back with 'apology accepted, we both learned something out of this!'
Thank you dear sir 😅👌2 -
Today I met a girl who’s super cute, down to earth, smart, uses no social media, and games. I would normally wake up soon after such dreams, but this actually happened today. I asked her out before it was too late 😊18
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This was at my previous and last internship. At previous ones i never got serious tasks so i was pretty used to that but one day my guider (lead backend programmer) called me over to help him out with a server issue (in all seriousness he said that i was probably the best Linux guy at that company at that moment). So i fixed it quickly and just out of curiousity i asked what kinda server it was and how many visitors it got monthly!
"it's a prod server and about one million at least i think"
I was just standing there for a minute and then asked why the hell he let me, an intern, work on that to which he replied: because you know what the fuck you're doing. I think I succeeded in hiding the tears of happiness that came up at that moment :) i fucking miss that place.12 -
When someone beats the level of stupidity you thought was possible.
No, when you request a Let's Encrypt certificate, you DON'T fill in YOUR OWN NAME in the "Common Name" field 🤦
Also, it explains right next to the fucking field that non-experienced users SHOULDN'T ALTER THE FUCKING VALUE.
😷22 -
Friend: What's that?
Me: DuckDuckGo. It's my default search engine.
Friend: Try using Google instead, it's better.
Me: But Google spies on you.
Friend: So?
Me: Don't you care about your privacy?
Friend: It's not like they are going to kill me. It doesn't matter.
Me: *mumbles* typical muggle...
I'm surprised that people could care less for their privacy. I would ban all things google, but I need google docs.
Also, my idiotic school requires gmail and google classroom. Oh, and did I forget to mention we have to use chromebooks!94 -
To be or not to be.
Whenever you are stuck with something in life, ask that question to yourself.
Because
2b || !2b
Is a Boolean expression which will always be true. So asking that question will lead you to true self.
Peace ☮️9 -
Fucking intern.
While I was working next to her a couple weeks back, she spent half her time on social media, playing Candy Crush, or talking with her friend. She also left early almost every day.
I had given her a project to do (object crud + ui), and helped her through it. She made pretty abysmal progress in a week. I ended up finishing it for her by rewriting basically all of her code (every single line except some function names, lone `end` or `}` statements, a few var declarations, blank lines, plus a couple of comments she copied over from my code).
This week I gave her a super easy project to do. It amounts to copying four files (which I listed), rename a few things to be Y instead of X, and insert two lines of code (which I provided) to hook it up. Everything after that just works. It should have taken her ... okay, maybe a few hours because she's slow and new to the language. but it would have taken me five to ten minutes, plus five minutes of testing.
She has spent THREE FUCKING DAYS ON THIS AND SHE'S STILL NOT DONE. SHE'S BLOODY USELESS!
She has kept not pulling changes and complaining that things are broken. Despite me telling her every time I push changes that affect her work (on. my. branch. ergh!)
She keeps not reading or not understanding even the simplest of things. I feel like MojoJojo every time I talk to her because of how often I repeat myself and say the same things again and again.
Now she's extremely confused about migrations. She keeps trying to revert a drop_table migration that she just wrote so she can re-create the table differently. Instead of, you know, just reverting back to her migration that creates the table. it's one migration further.
Migrations are bloody simple. they're one-step changes to the database, run in order. if you want to make a change to something you did a few steps back, you roll back those migrations, edit your shit, and run them again. so bloody difficult!
`rails db:rollback && rails db:rollback`
Edit file
`rails db:migrate`
So. hard.
I explained this to her very simply, gave her the commands to copy/paste, ... and she still can't figure it out. She's fucking useless.
It took me ten minutes to walk her though it on a screen share. TEN FREAKING MINUTES.
She hasn't finished a damned fucking thing in three weeks. She's also taking interview calls while working on this, so I know she totally doesn't care.
... Just.
Fucking hell.
USELESS FUCKING PEOPLE!34 -
Mobile app dev here 🙋♂️
Guy at work asking me why his phone feels heavier then mine (we have the same phones)
I just told him that his phone gets heavier with every apps he installs.
1 week later he meets me outside the office and tells me he deleted a lot of apps and his phone is actually lighter know.
Sometimes I just want to cry 😂😂😂12 -
Running from my job to my bus stop while having my phone in my hands trying to fend off a cyber attack while my hands are nearly freezing and its raining like hell.
Sometimes my job is just fucking awesome.16 -
the advantage of dating a non-dev: she thinks I'm incredibly smart when I describe what I'm working on, when in reality I have no clue what I'm doing 🙃12
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2 years ago: Connection goes down at the office
Boss: -"Damnit, you are responsible to ensure uptime. Fix a redundant connection asap."
Me: Fixes redundant connection
Today: Connection goes down at the office, failover connection does not work.
Me: Calls ISP and asks what's happened.
ISP: -"Your boss cancelled the account 3 months ago"
...15 -
I was newly hired to company. A customer came in yelling saying "there's a bug, this should do this but it's doing that..."
PM came to me and told me to "urgently fix this as this is an important customer".
So I started debugging for hours and asking around and all follow devs agreed that this is a bug. Then I found it!! And it was clear that it was not doing what the customer wanted.
I decided to look through this code history and found out that this part of the code wasn't changed for a year but the code commited before it did actually what the customer was expecting (whaaaa....)
Gathered the devs and the PM showing them what I found. They all looked at each other and then one said "ouuhhh right...yes it was doing this but we changed it to that..."
Turns out it's a feature not a bug, and everyone forgot about it.
FML8 -
Boss: I have really bad new
Me: What?
Boss: ....
Boss ... we have to clean your room tomorrow and remove all the Stallman posters, because marketing wants to film shit. But dont worry, we put them right up again when they are done9 -
Boss called ! Said no need to come in today because it's friday and I worked hard this week... feeling like a boss. 💪4
