When you look back on your github activity and just think "Wow, we have really created something special. This is really going to help the world." It just... It gets me. That's why I do this day in and day out.

There is this salesman right across from me that always brags about how rich his parents are and how lucky us tech guys are for having such an easy job. He told me one day that he was going to quit and make his own software company currently having no developing experience at all because "I've seen some of these developers. If those guys can do it, it'll be a breeze." I convinced him that the best language to learn in order to make your own websites/apps is Linux command line. Hilariously enough, the other 2 devs heard me say that and when Glenn the sales douche followed up with them one of them told him "Yeah, If you think you're really going to be quick with it then Linux will be your best bet, but if you have trouble just learn C++ instead and you'll still be able to make websites." Best of luck on your new Venture, you spoiled jizz stain.

I sometimes correct people's PRs from under the shower or from the toilet, but my favorite place to code are in the dune forests (Netherlands).

Most unusual place would be operating room at the hospital though, getting my leg/foot bugfixed after a car accident. I asked the surgeon if it was OK if I brought my phone in, to distract myself, so I went through some code cleanup tasks.

When you're a sql request that has done it's job

A random number generator

Alias coworker = high school classmate

This kid wore a trench coat to school every single day and I guess he had a chronic masturbation problem because the guy was caught 3 different times IN CLASS jerking off.
Most people would catch a sexual harassment / indecent exposure / public masturbation charge, but this kid was breaking all these national math competition records and was working with a local university doing research and had a 4.5+ GPA (in high school in U.S. that's possible) so the school decided to do 2 things.

1. Not punish the kid, and in fact nothing of this was ever put on any record at all.
2. Write him a note from school administrators saying that this student can leave class whenever he would like no questions asked, and that the teacher must notify the office so they could send a security guard in order for this masturbation obsessed student to literally occupy a bathroom as his jerk off chamber uninterrupted.

So if in the past 6-7 years you've been in a high caliber university studying computer science and there was a kid in a trench coat "feeding some geese" near you, you can thank my high school.

I did not create this and could not find a link to true creator. Still pretty funny though

Co-worker: "We would appreciate it if your future commits weren't so ignorant and bigoted"
Me: "Excuse me?"
Co-worker: "You made the gender variable a boolean"
I... But... Okay...

The joy that happens when the QA intern knows how to program and tells you which lines in the source to check out

When you work on a side project intoxicated and look at the dev comments the next day.

When dev rant is the devil but you're cool with it because the memes are relatable.

The evolution of a developer

Had an issue running through someone else's buggy code and my PM told me to "use a goto to fix it up, those always used to help me in school". Can a recruiter on here throw me a bone and get me out of this place?

Got my new PC at work, first reboot after fresh install of windows, BSOD. Nice one M$ ❤️

Medically prescribed senzu beans.

Yesterday I told an intern that was supposed to be shadowing me that he'll need to download visual studios with apache Cordova plugin for multi platform app design. I gave this assignment to him first thing in the morning (around 9:30 am) and told him to head home for the day thinking I was giving the kid a break to download and make sure the build was proper and to play around with it maybe. I check my inbox this morning to find that, alongside numerous expletives, this intern has quit as of 3:40 AM last night. I... I didn't see that one coming.

what percentage of these dune hipsters haven't read a SINGLE word of any of the 6 books in the dune series (yes drooling losers, there are 6 of them)

I'm guessing > 90%

wow congrats you watched a 2 hour film, make it your entire identity 🤡

god the world has become ever decreasing cycles of cringe... they will decrease in time length until we reach unending - and therefore infinite - cringe

FullStackCircus Principle™

DUNE is such a fucking SHIT movie. 80% of the movie is DRAMA. The first 1 AND A HALF HOURS IS DRAMA!!!!!! AND THEN A LITTLE BIT ACTION AND THAT'S IT. FUCK OFF. I WASTED MY MONEY AND 2.5 HOURS OF MY LIFE THAT I CAN NEVER GET BACK. THE FUCK?????

lotta jealous 🤡 trolls on this platform...

funniest thing to me is they think they are so smart they are hiding their trollishness.... but it couldn't be more obvious 😂😂😂😂

bitch, i told you, i am muad'dhib

i see through all

i've even forseen this post and its replys

so do we have to wait another 20 years for dune part 2 after waiting like a decade extra for dune part 1 ?

Off by one counting errors

My very first experience with a computer was a Mac 512Ke which my parents bought to do accounts on.

I was too young to really get it but it had the games Zork 2, a flight sim called fire fox (I think) and some painting program.

What actually got me into programming was when I was at a friend's and we were trying to get dune 2 to work and his older brother stepped in, did some command line unzip and then hey! It worked.

Bit he was such an arrogant prick about us not knowing how to start the program that I started learning myself how to use computers properly.

How many fellow developers are going to be at E3 and want to grab a beer?

When the final card is checked off and you realize the past year and a half has been spent making this absolute monster of a service. There really is no better feeling.

Lead developer tells me to hang tight while he works on an issue and investigates.
PM tells me to make more cards for this section and fix it while the lead developer works on the same exact part.

So... I guess I'll go take a 2 hour lunch?

Just install visual studio...

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