Dude comes for an interview for a mobile position - one of the first things he says is "Adobe is killing Flash, don't know why, big mistake."

Never forget.

Let none say it wasn't a productive day.

They asked me if I could recommend any video streaming frameworks. I said no, but I could google around a little. I found one, sent it to them with a note that I hadn't used it but it seemed solid.

One afternoon, right before hometime, a month later and the day before go-live, I come in, to emails with _all_ the managers on it, demanding that I assist immediately. They'd finally tried testing it, and they had found an issue. No details.

I email back, asking for the actual issue they'd found - no response. I phone - that developer has now gone on leave for week, there's a new dev who'll help me. I email him, asking for "precise technical details" of what had gone wrong.

He replies, "when you try use it, it literally causes the apocalypse." and goes silent. I check the skies, no visible apocalypse yet.

Based on some keywords they'd mentioned, I google and find a known issue as well as a patch for their version. I email it over to them.

The response? "If I'd known he was just going to Google it, I would have tried that myself."

Forget StackOverflow profiles, recruiters should look for devRant profiles.

Yeah, I commented the code.
// ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

Dev gets hold of me, says my service is down in QA. Works if he hits it locally, works via Postman, but via the QA app server it gives a 401.

I’m like, look, if it works everywhere else, there’s something wrong on your side in QA.

He insists, no, I must help him, and begins CCing all the managers telling them this system has been down for days.

So I eventually climb into his system, check the credentials they’re using in the QA environment, and sure enough, the password is wrong.

This developer keeps sending me issues he finds in his code. I think he wants to be a tester.

So, they've decided that they "don't need architecture."

They've told me I'm going to have to start doing timesheets.

When should I tell them I'm going to start producing work much more slowly?

Because nothing says "security" like some good ol' Base64 encoding. Bet whoever wrote that code was wearing mirror shades.

A dollar or a peso is a certain amount of work stored in a piece of paper. You need to work to get them or have other people work for you. When governments print new money and push it into circulation they reduce what you were compensated with for the work you did. Essentially they are taking your wealth (spending power) away without you even realizing. It is a modestly sophisticated form of theft. When public companies issue new shares onto the market they are doing same thing by reducing the percentage of the company you own. This is why you will see non-inflationary assets such as Bitcoin, land, gold bars and gold ETFs, etc. continue to rise in value and certainly outpace inflation. It’s because people who are smart with money are fearful of holding cash and they are looking for a safe place to store it. If you are not afraid of holding substantial amounts of cash, then I suppose you don’t really understand what it is. There is a reason why they don’t teach teenagers about inflation in any country of the world. As long as the masses are focused on earning and saving fiat, governments have so much more power and control. If you remove all of the fiat from circulation, then we will revert to a barter/trading system which would substantially reduce government power, at that point they would only maintain control using physical force, which is a lot more challenging to carry out. #btc #gold #rant #av

“Hi - we’ve done an analysis of the front end codebase and we’ve determined that it would be a good idea to start using Bootstrap. Are there any concerns with this?”

“Hey - no concerns, we actually already use Bootstrap in all those places.”

“I was not aware. So you’re saying there are concerns?”

"Hey business, we've done some style changes in a new test evnvironent, can you check to see everything looks fine?"

"Page Y (which you've never heard of before) looks terrible!"

"It does! Sorry" - go check the page on the other test environment.

That's just what it looks like.

The development principle behind this project was the infinite time/monkey/IDE approach.

Yes, come tell me there's a user experiencing an issue, but you don't know on which page or exactly what it was. I'll fix that right away.

Send the dev a request for a design before they do a delicate process. They send back some mess done in MSPaint and a ton of select statements, with no context or explanation.

Send back an example of what they need to work through. Get back a response saying that the previous spec was just a draft, and once they complete development they’ll complete the design.

Why would I want a design once it was too late? What would be the point?

I get listening to music while you code, but I’m afraid I just can’t believe in watching a TV show while you code. You’re not coding, you’re watching a show. Or if you are coding, the level of code that’s being written is probably low enough to make it a waste of time.

Designing a framework: design the framework. Have a bunch of drinks. Try use the framework. Sober up and examine how you’ve butchered it.

Adjust the framework.

The last communication we had was me asking you if you would like a service for that, with no response? And now, ten days later, you’d like an update on when it will be available?

Well I raised a pull request on your side a week ago, your developers have just been ignoring it.

What? No, I don’t know when it will be merged and ready.

When you've been without a clue for ages, life just isn't making sense anymore, and then you realise your IDE imported java.awt.List

These devs keep getting hold of me to tell me that what I told them to do worked.

Well, yeah. That's why I said to do it.

‪And verily, he looked upon the codebase and cried out, "Who has done these terrible things?".

And there was wailing and gnashing of teeth.‬

Trying to work out an encoding bug after upload, I ask them to send me the original version of the file that is currently uploaded. I look at the files and they seem strangely similar, but strangely different.

I reply to them, "To confirm, this is the version you uploaded?"

"Nope."

"Okay, we'll try to explain again why you being able to execute your test cases against prod is a bad thing..."

Atleast fiat is not Scam like bitcoin

My favourite bug reports are the ones for where something is missing. No details on pages, or steps to recreate, but they do include a screenshot.

Essentially, they go "Here's a picture of something that isn't there."

Great, thanks, I'll get right on that.

GODDAMNSIT when you have a perfectly good rant to rant but it’s long and it’s a pain to write on a mobile and devRant DOESN’T HAVE A REAL SITE

I got an instruction to follow exactly what the client wants with the design i have made because they are also a “designer” and guess what

A nissan juke just got transformed into fucking fiat multipla

As long the client happy i must deal with it even it against my will

So sad and mad looking my design becoming something else

Thankfully there’s DevRant to relieve this emotion 🤣

I hate Matlab.

It's slow.

It's full of propriety nonsense.

It's costs money, which automatically makes it the worst thing to ever mar the beautiful face of the programming world.

Just so you know where I'm coming from, I own a 1980 Fiat X1/9. Needless to say I like to be under the hood and need to feel connected to what I'm working with.

The feeling I get when I want to pop the hood and maybe optimize something only to remember that this is a corrupt proprietary money machine built on the dry bones and scattered dreams of CS students whose sheltered coding experience won't give them a chance in the real world-- is a feeling I can not tolerate.

I quit.

FIAT
Fix It Again Tomorrow

So I'm dealing with an Apache Tomahawk schedule component that's started acting up.

It turns out that when you click on a time slot, instead of just posting up the time slot, it posts back to the server the component you clicked on (the whole calendar), and the y position of the click.

Now, imagine the user has zoomed in... yeah, shit stops working.

"Hi, I was wondering if we have a way to <do a standard thing that we have support for, and has already been done in their project>"

Also, of course, let's CC every team lead and manager we can find so they all think it's something dire and we can end up in tons of meetings about it. Great.

This guy keeps insisting there’s a bug in my code, on a specific line. The stack trace shows that a NPE is thrown in his code, before that line is reached, but he won’t be persuaded by this argument and won’t send me the class.

Somehow he’s certain that Java would throw a NPE on trying to iterate through an empty list, as if his code was even returning an empty list. Can you imagine the chaos.

"When I try make a change, system XYZ is not happy do you know why?"

Really? That's all you're giving me to go on?

They did the worst thing you could do to a self-respecting dev.

They asked him to pop around to HR to have a head-shot taken.

We regularly have deadlines set before they've worked out anything about what's in the release, and business takes their time, so we're literally told "we don't know what business is going to want, but we have to start coding now to meet the deadline"

They asked me what car i drive 3 times. I felt so fucking embarrassed as fuck. How do i say i drive a 2011 fiat punto a piece of fucking trash junkyard 3000$ car while looking them in the eyes and not die of embarrassment. Being so fucking poor is sick and disgusting to me. I hate my parents for being lazy instead of becoming billionaires so i can be born into infinite wealth

Does anyone else here think the regulating and centralising of crypto currencies and tokens worrying?
It is slowly being bent to the will of the higher ups just like traditional fiat and they’re burying its fundamental altruistic design concept without providing and means for it to be assimilated into benefiting the daily lives of the masses an especially the unbanked.

Sometimes being a developer really sucks. I adopted a heavily customized OXID shop which introduced an ingame currency beside the fiat currency.
It was done by introducing $iPriceChannel and replacing the $dPrice float value with a multidimensional array across all components, controllers and models.

Wait ... not 100% of the code has been "adapted" yet but it's sufficient to get it working at the first glance.

The reality is: The shop has many subtle bugs and piles up huge (error) log files.

Every time when a bug was found,
and every time the shop maintainer is unlocking an OXID feature which hasn't been used yet, I have to fix it.

It's even extra hard to fix issues sometimes because the shop is embed in a game by utilizing a content-aware reverse proxy. My possibilities to navigate through the shop directly is limited because some of the AJAX/CSS/HTML elements doesn't work without loading this game.

Does a crypto exchange supporting cashout into fiat on a bank account exists, where you actually can get through the KYC process as a foreigner in a european country?

Asking for a friend who already tried
Nominex, Bybit, Binance, Bitmax and Kucoin - all either without ability to transfer funds to a bank account or KYC broken for foreigners.