I love my job, but...

Me - "Has anyone changed the password on the print computer"
Him - "It's the same one."
Me - "Carrots99?"
Him - "Yeah, what's the message that comes up?
Me - "Password is incorrect."

The dumbest conversation I've ever had in my fucking life. You little shit, I know you changed the password just to fuck with people. You've been reading too many books on elevating yourself, tried to be important for something. It means fuck all if you can't remember what you changed it to. So you held up two hours of my work, not to mention everyone else, because you can't help but stick your beak in shit. You dont think people can't see what youre doing? Watching you scurry over to the computer with a big smile, only a to fuck off silent as a mouse not to be seen mumbling some shit about a system administrator. Yeah you forgot it you prick.

Stop sucking up to the boss, and commanding people on what to do, when you're as junior as junior gets. Don't change our fucking passwords, just so you can have the whole team approach you the next day asking for you, then not remember them. You cunt.

Internet Explorer.

Fresh out of college?
Entry-level?
Apply Here!

Junior Web Intern: 16k A Year!
Basic Requirements: HTML, CSS, JavaScript, Node, Angular, JQuery, Bootstrap, Backbone, Handlebars, D3, p3, CMS (WordPress, Wixx), PHP, Java (Android), C++(iOS), openframeworks, openGLSL, Cinder, failed at least two startups, 8086 assembly language.

Recommended requirements:
Git version control
Agile development

Must be able to display example of each requirement.

Today I got told to stop using a repo and work directly from the FTP server.

Today sucked. That is all

Courtesy of r/ProgrammerHumor

Crucial Memory posted this, had to share 😂

I used to do freelancing gigs as a kid, maybe 5/6 years ago, I'd remotely fix software issues on fiver for 5€ which would pay for a game every once in a while.

Now, it was pretty common to get customers from all around the world, and I never had any issues whatsoever until I got a message from a potential customer from south Korea...

She had purchased a karaoke machine, but the software wouldn't add anything to its library making the machine useless.

Well, apparently the software was in Korean...

After a LOT of fiddling around I got it to turn into French, and I was able to try a few things and after about 3 hours I managed to "fix" the thing.

3 hours of headaches in Korean for 5€... That's when I stopped doing that and took up an IT education and became a dev, so much better, although I miss the gratitude I used to get from my customers when I fixed their printer connectivity issues from a few thousand kilometers away

Congratulations? For fucking what. So you built a wix website. Now youre a web developer and the whole world knows it, my services aren't needed anymore.

Congratulations you bypassed half a decade in 50 hours a week of coding, then you have the bone and fucking marrow of emailing me because your like buttons are causing users to create a new instagran account. Good one kid.

I did it, I took the plunge and deleted all my social media. Never felt so liberated

Me - "I need to find the children"
CTO- "Okay. How many?"

It takes about 10 minutes to realize the conversation you just had

My first interview as a Java dev tomorrow! Wish me luck

So a little story about finding your way. I worked at an IoT software firm, very well established. I had a hard time with the on boarding process due to some factors, and I must have lagged behind their mental schedule for my growth. It was clear nonetheless that I was a quality coder and had made some friends there.

It wasn’t enough for the ensuing corporate bullying. It went by and I took it. I became the yes man just so I don’t frustrate anyone enough to turn away my ask for help. This made things worse and before long, I a grown man went to visit my mum and all but cry at how small I felt, after all my hard work getting to the company.

I felt sick with failure but I knew I couldn’t go back. I emailed my resignation and dropped off my company laptop.

4 months later I am working at a medical startup with my own projects, that I have 100% control over. And the quality of my work and ethic is pleasing upper management in all the right ways. I’ve never been happier, and there are barely any perks on paper. No free lunches on Thursdays or discounts at the local high street. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life because I said NO to feeling or being treated any less than I worked and progressed to be.

Don’t let other people stop your potential for their own ego, or any other reason. 😊

Proud moment this week. Have been making my first contribution to Open Source software. And a huge project too. I hope it will long continue :)

Just been hired as a mid level developer for an IoT company. With considerable benefits and pay increase!

YES!!

Some epic software gore when someone called me right as I unlocked my phone

Yeah these fucking assholes lost a 300 pound gaming chair at my local depot for 3 weeks where I eventually got a refund from Amazon. I ordered a USB desk fan for the heat off ebay, yeah these fucking cunts delivered it to my workplace at 9pm.

Guess who is building my companies new ecommerce platform, where I am currently integrating the shipping options. Fuck off Yodel.

Dear Colleagues. Stop saying iOS (i-oohs). It's (i-oh-es). You don't call it fucking windows ooohs. You sound like fucking idiots to our clients

Today I spilt a glass of water onto my palm. As I was shaking the hand of a senior executive. He looked at me in disgust as our hands squelched together.

Taking my laptop in.

FUCK Wix, Fiver, and Coding Dojo... I think I'm going to have to go youtube Red...

Designing with "real" data

In Interaction Design Uni i've got this assignment to design a prototype for an "Ebay for used books". A requirement is that we have use "real" Data and not lorem ipsum for our design prototype tools. Which is a fair point but....

It's about 50 book categories (crime, history, romance) we have to cover, and for every category the prof wants at least 2 Books.

I've don't have the time to type in the (meta)data for 100 books at 30 JSON properties by hand. What would be your advice?

Do you maybe know a easy to use online bookshop API? (remember I'm a tech savy designer not a dev)

Or do you know someone in a low income country who does data entry? Or any experience with hiring someone on fiverr?

Thank you for your help. :)

Not dev related but got offered to work at the Champions league final.

The tickets sold out within ten minutes and there's me making money!

Quick Java question.

Does spending £200 on Oracle certification raise your job market value?
Or is it just a pointless money maker for Oracle.

Program the machines to steal more jobs

Providing a sense of belonging

Freeze time with the computer I am sat on.
So when somebody says something can be done in an hour, they're usually correct

I hate doing QA so much.
or
maybe im fine with doing QA. Just i don't like the way company throw me outdated documentaiton and ask me to figure out myself what am i supposed to understand. I don't have the business knowledge too so it makes thing harder.

i miss doing dev (currently still doing personal projects and looking for clients in fiver)

Anyone else get told their rates are too high (by potential clients)? Too low (by fellow freelancers)? How does one put a value to their time and still stay market competitive?

Details: USA only. Not on any platforms such as freelancer, upwork, or fiver. Cost of living is Portland Oregon standards. Ask for any other details.

Looking for thoughts, recommended readings, any helpful input would be awesome.

Damn.. I'm filling in a web form on my mobile, and when I got to 'phone' field I tried to submit this

Hello all, recently I have been doing alot of front end work in web forms and lead generation. I would love to learn more about marketing and how it can be applied as a dev.

Does anyone recommend any good books atall?

Thanks!