Happy April Fool's!

- Windows 8 == Best OS
- Apple is fairly priced
- PHP > C++
- Java === JavaScript
- facebook > devrant
- Github useless, use .zip
- Comic Sans best terminal font
- Nobody needs a web developer because Wordpress much better
- Linux is for virgins

"Should I use Mithril or Durandal?"

"I'm sorry, I don't play Dungeons & Dragons.."

"They're Js libraries.."

Fuck sake, because we needed more reasons for people to think we're nerdy virgins.

Docker: "Build, Manage and Secure Your Apps Anywhere. Your Way."

Also Docker: "To run Linux in Windows, sacrifice 3 virgins."

Jobs description be like "Seeking virgins with 3 years of sexual experience" 🤔

Sex talk between programmers.

She: I'm a virgin.
He: Don't worry. They call me the virginslayer007.
She: Oh! So how many virgins have you slayed till now?
He: That would be ONE in a few minutes.
She: So u r also a virgin then..
He: Don't worry. I watched so many video tutorials. We just have to do exactly as they did. Best thing is that it can be done both for testing and production purposes.
She: Let's stick to testing purposes for now.

guys my linux is not booting !
reply:
Find a forest, where no human has ever set foot.
Wait until the full moon rises, and then sacrifice x virgins, where x is the month of the year.
Spill their blood on your device, and wrap in parma ham (if your religion forbids you to make contact with ham, replace it with high quality carpaccio. If you're vegan get youreslf a rope).
Then, build an altar to the gnu God, with feet spelling GPL, and a head that like of a gnu.
When this is done, you shall bow down three times to the altar (thirty if you use tabs), place your wrapped bloody system on the altar, and proceed with dancing on Staying Alive, except you will have adapted the lyrics to your system.
When you are done dancing and chanting, you shall lie down in front of the altar, and you shall not gaze upon your system till daybreak.
Then when the sun rises (sorry if you're in the uk, or one of the poles) you will marvel at your system, thanking the ever potent gnu god forever.

The funniest shit I have ever read 🤣 ... had to share

Fuck ever working for a company that doesn't know shit about the worth of a developer ever again.
> be me
> just got my first class masters in Soft Eng that I worked hard as fuck to get
> get a job for a pretty well known medical company here
> offered a bit less than what I was expecting but fuck it, it's a job straight out of uni doing what I want to do
> fuckitwhynot.mp4
> stay for a year with no bonus programme, no pay review, no objectives, no perks, literally fuck all
> see literally every other position in the company be promoted and actually supported from IT & the developers
> feelsBoomerMan.jpg
> get the hail mary recruiter "you'd be great for this role" linked in DM
> follow it through and go to the interview
> nailed it
> comes to negotiating a starting salary and they actually laugh at my current rate and immediately raise it by about 30% with bonuses, reviews and all that shit occurring regularly
> later virgins

Me: don't limit yourself! Learn more than one thing, experiment and learn more.

Devrant: don't use x. X is a piece of shit and its not worth it. This is better, and you are wrong.

I hate highly opinionated people. Devrant seems to be full of them.

I seriously believe this is why people like AlexDelarge left. Sooo many punchable motherfuckers up in this bitch man.

"Fucking leave then" ----> go fuck yourself. This platform is great. Some of y'all are great. Having frustrated virgins lurking around does not mean that all of us that like fucking around in here needs to leave.

is it just me or daily stand ups feels like a bunch of virgins sharing thier first time feelings and details ...

I see the industry evolving into dna-mutilated JS hipster virgins who use neuronal networks for even the simplest tasks an jerk off on MongoDB queries during their breaks while thinking of GraphQL queries.
Naughty.

Cannot deny it.

if you want to encounter 400 lb angry virgin programmers go on r/Python and suggest they should add a static keyword to their classes.

They swarm out of the woodwork and take turns trolling you until a mod bans you for responding in suit.

Its amazing, the dumbest lack of language feature and they're like
'me no want the extra keystroke me like code that can lose peopel, me fo fucks no never, not gonna happen, you asshat, haha, now go bye now, *click*'

valid argument is python classes are lacking in decoration

this i suppose is ok overall, i mean they work. except the issue i was having the other day resulted from a variable not being DOUBLE DECLARED IN BOTH THE CLASS SCOPE AND INSIDE THE CONSTRUCTOR LIKE IT WAS A JS OBJECT BEING INTERPRETED AS A STATIC FIELD !

ADDITIONALLY IF THEY LIKE CONCISE WHY THE FUCK DO ALL THEIR CLASS METHODS REQUIRE YOU TO INCLUDE ===>SELF<== !!!!

BUT NOOOO TRY TO COMPARE SOMETHING SENSIBLE LIKE

MYINSTANCE.HI SHOULD NOT BE STATIC
MYCLASS.HI SHOULD BE STATIC AND THEY GET ALL PISSED

ONE ACTUALLY ACTED REJECTED FOR THE SAKE OF HIS LANGUAGE SAYING 'YOU WANT WHAT PYTHON HAS BUT YOU DON'T WANT PYTHON !'
...
...
...
I DIDN'T KNOW THEY MADE VIRGINS THAT BIG!

I am the very model of a modern major sociopath
I like to fill a bathtab with some virgins blood and take a bath
I code in ruby and rust and make future generations cringe
at the awful fucking syntax that I pushed on theeeemmm

I am so very gleeful yay
I am so very cheerful may
Just shove expanded jargon in your face
and somehow yet you say ok.

I am the mind behind the nosql
and I made a me a mongodb
I created shitty storage methods and I laughed with evil glee
you'll never be able to code in any of these things good for me
because performance in apps that use these things is fraud you see

i am so very warm in my bath
i make shitty programs and i laugh
now join me while i sacrifice this calf
and make this video of about that shit the graph

Jeffrey Epstein is a hero and a genius.

...

1) He created an island for pedophiles

2) Little do those pedophiles know, the island is a honeypot

3) He targeted kiddie fuckers but not any, only the most extremely wealthy ones

4) He milked millions of dollars off them for a chance to stretch a fresh virgin pussy

5) He then recorded them secretly while they were fucking those kids, but Epstein was nowhere seen on those videos

6) He blackmailed them to release those videos in case he gets killed or bribed or any way gets turned against him

7) Epstein gets killed (no he didnt kill himself), and now the Epstein list of child fuckers gets released somehow to the public

8) Bill Clinton, Prince Adrew, Richard Branson gangfucked kiddies and Epstein recorded them secretly -- now theres a footage of that orgy floating around on the internet, as of latest news 1 hour ago

9) Richard Branson -- the founder of VIRGIN media... Come on? Truth hidden in plain sight. Right in front of our fucking eyes. Guy literally became a billionaire by fucking children and laundering that money through LLC company "VIRGIN" media. Why VIRGIN? Because the kiddies he fucked were virgins

---

If Epstein didnt do this then someone else would do it and NOT record anything.

Epstein, although still evil, opened the eyes of the world.

Epstein is Batman.

Do stackoverflow virgins exist

I've heard that the most programmers don't have girlfriends.
Does that mean you're all virgins or do you people buy sex from prostitutes?