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AboutI'm a computer science student.
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Skillsjava, arduino, html, css
Joined devRant on 8/12/2017
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Aaah, good old StackOverflow..
Ask a question and get it marked as duplicate for something that didn't even solve the posters answer.. 4 years ago1 -
Tech support for Friend...
Again...
Ok...
A friend ran down the hallway to my Appartement, I opened the door for him and asked him "What The Fuck... Is wrong with you?!" He was just coughing like...
My... Laptop.... Is... Slow...
When he then eventually came to the point where he could Breath normally again I asked him to login into his by then super with shitty software bloated PC... It was a mess... A Desktop full of Shit... only Shit... I
then opened Chrome and Task Manager...
and holy shit... EVERYTHING! Literally ANYTHING was under 100% Load... Yet his shitty Fans werent spinning up... Shutdown the Laptop and opened it... not to my surprise it was full of Dust... I cleaned it and booted it again... still 100% Load... I couldnt do shit without being bombarded with porn and Hentai Ads... So... I asked him "Did you make any backups to this machine?" He was like.. "*Really long explenation* No *Really long Explenation*"
Great... i thought to myself... Then I said to him his PC was so trash that i only could Reset it to 0... He was like DO ANYTHING YOU CAN LITERALLY ANYTHING!
I then explained him, Resetting this PC Means literally 0 A Fresh start, nothing of your data will be there literally nothing...
He again Was like DO IT!
So I did... When it was done i showed him the result... He FREAKED OUT LIKE THE WORLD WAS GOING TO FUCKING END, HE SCREAMED AT ME WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE? REVERSE IT! REVERSE IT NOW!
I Then said to him, I reset it to 0, I said this would happen...
He then took his now perfectly running Laptop and Ran away...
tl;dr
Tech support for friend, Reset PC to 0, Freaked out AF...3 -
*Battle music*
Wild customer appeared!
dev used Ubuntu
It's not very effective...
Foe customer used Stupid Feature-Request
It's super effective!
dev is confused!
dev hurt itself in its confusion!
dev used Reasoning
dev's attack missed!
Foe customer used Ridiculous Feature-Request
It's super effective!
dev used Rage Quit
dev fled using its Rage Quit
...2 -
"Every great developer you know got there by solving problems they were unqualified to solve until they actually did it." - Patrick McKenzie1
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I've been looking for a bug in my code the whole day. I randomly found it in 2 minutes today. That seems about right 😑6
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1/3 of US bandwidth is used by Netflix...
the rest is used by `rm -rf node_modules && npm install`4 -
Sit down before you read this.
So I interviewed a guy for a "Support Engineer" internship position.
Me and the team lead sit down and are waiting for him to enter, but apparently he's actually making a coffee in the kitchen.
This isn't exactly a strike since the receptionist told him that he can go get a drink, and we did too. It's just always expected for him to get a glass of water, not waste 3 minutes brewing a coffee.
In any case he comes in, puts the coffee on the table, then his phone, then his wallet, then his keys and then sits on our side of the table.
I ask him to sit in front of us so we can see him. He takes a minute to pack and tranfer himself to the other side of the table. He again places all of the objects on the table.
We begin, team lead tells him about the company. Then I ask him whether he got any questions regarding the job, the team or the company . For the next 15 minutes he bombards us with mostly irrelevant and sometimes inappropriate questions, like:
0: Can I choose my own nickname when getting an email address?
1: Does the entire department get same salaries?
2: Are there yoga classes on Sundays only or every morning?
3: Will I get a car?
4: Does the firm support workspace equality? How many chicks are in the team?
5: I want the newest grey Mac.
And then.. Then the questions turn into demands:
6: I need a high salary (asks for 2.5 more than the job pays. Which is still a lot).
I ask him why would he get that at his first job in the industry (remind you, this is an internship and we are a relatively high paying company).
He says he's getting paid more at his current job.
His CV lists no current job and only indicates that he just finished studying.
He says that he's working at his parent's business...
Next he says that he is very talented and has to be promoted very quickly and that we need to teach him a lot and finance his courses.
At this point me and the team lead were barely holding our laughs.
The team lead asks him about his English (English is not our native language).
He replies "It's good, trust me".
Team lead invites him for an English conversation. Team lead acts like a customer with a broken internet and the guy is there to troubleshoot. (btw that's not job related, just a simple scenario)
TL: "Hello, my name is Andrew, I'm calli..."
Guy: *interrupts* "Yes, yes, hi! Hi! What do you want?"
TL: "Well, if you let me fi..."
Guy: "Ok! Talk!"
TL: "...inish... My internet is not working."
Guy: "Ok, *mimics tuning a V engine or cooking a soup* I fixed! *points at TL* now you say 'yes you fixed'".
Important to note that his English was horrible. Disregarding the accent he just genuinely does not know the language well.
Then he continiues with "See? Good English. Told you no need to check!".
After about half a minute of choking on out silent laughter I ask him how much Python experience he has (job lists a requirement of at least 1 year).
He replies "I'm very good at object oriented functional programming".
I ask again "But what is your experience? Did you ever take any courses? Do you have a git repository to show? Any side.."
*he interrupts again* "I only use Matlab!".
Team lead stands up and proceeds to shake his hand while saying "we will get back to you".
At last the guy says with a stupid smile on his face "You better hire me! Call me back tomorrow." Leaves TL hanging and walks away after packing his stuff into the pockets.
I was so shocked that I wasn't even angry.
We both laughed for the rest of the day though. It was probably the weirdest interview I took part at.35 -
Another little something I've just seen that may or may not be useful to the members here (most of whom may already know, but I thought I'd share anyway).
https://education.github.com/pack -
I've dealt with dusty computers, REALLY dusty computers, computers owned by smokers.
I've seen dead beetles and earwigs and spiders with their cobwebs in computers and dealt with them.
I've even seen live moth larvae wriggling about in a computer.
But never, have I ever had to deal with fluids. Until today.
I had to take apart a laptop that had been used as a toilet by a cat. It was still wet, but not warm.
And I had to try to get data off of it. But no, the urine was not compliant.
So, already pissed off customer was less happy about the fact that her data would still be a few days away from recovery to a new computer.
At least her frustration wasn't at us.undefined really i really do really really gross but cat pee though it got on everything i feel bad for her6 -
So I just started a part time job in a hospital research center - because the processing is long I got a temporary user name and password (that belong to the main HR secretary) so I can start work straight away (mainly data analytics)
The kick?
Administrator privileges.
I can access edit create or delete everything in the entire fucking database. On my first God damn day.
In the 2nd largest hospital in the fucking country.
Agh. How do systems survive with so many dumb security breaches?4 -
Me: You know what my least favorite programming language is?
Friend: HTML?
Me: No that's not a programming language
Friend: ohh haha I forgot its like Pluto20 -
Years ago we deployed this system with a SQL DB on a separate windows server.
Every now and then we had error messages saying that the system could not connect to the db. It was going on for about 5 minutes or so and then the db was up again.
We built a bunch of fallback logic to handle it gracefully.
Then one day one of the guys was in the "server room". It was not a real server room but like a dedicated office in another building.
He saw how the cleaning lady came in, unplugged the server's cable from the wall socket and plugged in the vacuum cleaner...6 -
Installed Linux on an old windows laptop. This is my conversation 5 minutes ago...
Wife: "Have how you got internet?"
Me: "What do you mean, it has a wireless adapter built in?"
Wife: "But it's not Windows?"
WTF!!!
Me: "Pass my phone, this is going on devRant"
Wife: "Please no, not again"25 -
"Don't use git, it is too complicated and we don't have time for this."
2 days later the same person made changes directly on the FTP which I later unknowingly overwrote.
Take that you imbecile!13 -
I recently found a company that used employee social security numbers as their login username and their MMDDYYYY as their password (which could not be changed) also their entire network was using a router with no wifi password set. :/8
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Client: our app has low ratings, we fired our previous dev company and hiring you instead.
Us: all right, seems like to make a better app we need 5 months.
C: you're kidding, do it in 6 weeks.
U: Ok, but we'll have to drop some features.
C: get rid of X and Y, nobody uses them.
U: deal!
... 6 weeks later...
U: here's the new app: better graphics, easier to use, more stable and more future-proof.
C: Cool! Let's deploy!
... 2 days later...
C: we just released but the users are really pissed off!
U: what do they say?
C: "what the fuck happened with X and Y? they were the only thing we're using! what a load of crap! 1 star"
Dear client, next time get to know better your users...8 -
Friend: You seem so happy recently, is your startup finally profitable?
Me: Naaah, I simply started drinking on weekdays...3 -
Me (5 days ago): A major, life-threatening hurricane is coming. I need to prepare. I know you have a need to launch so I will do my best to finish your project.
Client: Ok, stay safe.
Client (today): I know you're not done. You're late actually. To provoke you into further action, we went ahead and announced the launch and people will begin using the website now.
Me (at the store buying food for the next two week): What in the actual ... Here is your code. Finish it yourself. May God have mercy on your cold, dark soul.7