Me: so, ifconfig, what is my gateway?

ifconfig: [ip address]

Me: nmap, what is this IP address?

nmap: it's a network switch with an open telnet port.

Me: what happens if I connect to it?

switch: WHAT IS THE PASSWORD?!?!

Me: is it blank?

switch: correct. what do you want to do?

Me: can I look at all the IP and MAC addresses on the network?

switch: WHAT IS THE ADMIN PASSWORD?!?!

Me: is it... admin?

switch: correct. Here's everyone that's connected to the network: [400+ IPs and MACs]

Me: ok python, would you filter through these and tell me what manufacturer each one belongs to?

python: sure.
[~50 manufacturer lookups later]
python: there's a bunch of apple product, a bunch of miscellaneous laptop and printer manufacturers, and some raspberry pis.

Me: raspberry pis?

python: yep. about 20 of them.

Me: What happens if I connect to one?

rpi: WHAT IS THE PASSWORD?!?!

Me: raspberry?

rpi: correct. what do you want to do?

Me: can I make you do my bidding in the background when you aren't being used?

rpi: sure, sounds fine.

I love ignorant sysadmins.

Yesterday Australia Melbourne Metro train had computer fault. Train stopped, door cannot open. What caused it? Someone pushed a bug to the production? Tell me pls

My boss join devRant, what should i do?

A manager, a mechanical engineer, and software analyst are driving back from convention through the mountains. Suddenly, as they crest a hill, the brakes on the car go out and they fly careening down the mountain. After scraping against numerous guardrails, they come to a stop in the ditch. Everyone gets out of the car to assess the damage.

The manager says, "Let's form a group to collaborate ideas on how we can solve this issue."

The mechanical engineer suggests, "We should disassemble the car and analyze each part for failure."

The software analyst says, "Let's push it back up the hill and see if it does it again."

I hate interviewing..

The first sentence of the candidate was, that he wanted to speak in english instead of german. Great start if you stated something else in the application.

And his english was even worse than mine.

And as expected from his tags in the application, he had a broad knowledge base. From IoT, LTE, node.js TCP, Java, Ruby, Python, to VLAN and firewalls.

Guess what, he had no in depth knowledge for the required job. Suprise!

VB: Array index starts at 1.

Haha no, I joke. I think Ionic is worse.

*Me sees ticket thinks its easy enough if done this kind of ticket before*

Opens up repo, does all FE, starts BE, okay should be easy open up the Model for this, oh...

Theres no model..

but how was this even working before o.0

This bus company got... inspired.

Spending more time on JIRA than actual work...

maybe JIRA is actual work ? 🤔

New here! Seems kind of like a sub-reddit for rants. Also hello from Ireland!

I did it! I found the program's last bug
Bug
Bug
Bug
Bug
Bug
Bug

"I think my next laptop is going to be a Chromebook. I can do everything from browser and any heavy computing/coding I will just ssh to home. Sounds good."

3 days later, my Chromebook is running Ubuntu 80% of the time since I bought it.

I just hate Eclipse with passion. Stopped using it when I couldn't even get it's package manager work without crashing it.

Thanks stackoverflow...

If only I had a job to rant about...😭

Junior dev: asks me an easy question cuz he's too lazy to figure it out

Me: listening, thinking he's gonna waste my time again 😓

Senior dev: eavesdrops and helps him out

Me: saved me, woohoo 😎

*Few minutes later*

Senior dev: "by the time you finished asking this question, you could have compiled the code yourself to see what happens"

Me: 😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣😂😂😂

Made a playlist for my boss

To err is human;
To rant is developing

Today I spent an hour teaching a QA guy some GCSE level maths to be able to test my code

That's my stickers...
Just started...
Gonna collect more...

Entry level position requiring 4 years of experience. Ha-Ha

Dumb clients make me consider smoking and or alcoholism

IOS 11 Beta 2 can play gifs in the default Photos app!!!

What if there's only one language in another universe, and it's javascript?

After a long time in .NET and JavaScript, I have returned to Java today. I was quite happy about it for a few minutes!

There are two kinds of developers in this world:
Those that finish the project they started, and

Fidget spinners are stupid.

But what do you have on your desk instead?

The challenge of a Rubik's Cube? A classic Newtons Cradle? A stack of empty pizza boxes? Magnets, because how do they work? The one and only devRant stress ball?

I'm looking for something to mess with when I'm staring in disbelief at horrible PRs.

Preferably something semi-creative, tactile and stress-relieving. The three-dimensional material equivalent of the doodle.

Something which is less annoying for coworkers than the clicky switches in my keyboard. And a bit more appropriate than my genitals.

`grey` is darker than `darkgrey`
(#808080 vs #a9a9a9)

gg CSS

Dear Misinformed idiots,
Just because you watched Silicon Valley doesn't mean you actually understand how Software Development works.
-We don't sit in front of a screen in an AC room googling funny pictures
-We don't think of new Algorithms by pretending to be jerking.
-We don't "get lucky" with our code, it takes hours of studying and research to come up with a solution which actually works.
-And we definitely can't just "create the *next* Google", THAT is not how it works.
I swear to the God ya'll love and cherish, the next person to approach me to turn their shit idea into "The next big thing", I'll leave everything aside and drive a screwdriver through your neck.

- An Engineer tired of everyone's never ending shit storm.

"Using the command line for any other reason than to feel like a hacker, is a bullshit reason." - Unknown