Details
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AboutI would like to be an electrician but sitting in front of the computer pays more and I am a slave to modern society.
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Skillspython2.7, php4, Pascal, Flash, <center></center>, MS-DOS
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LocationGulag
Joined devRant on 3/3/2022
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Today I was 25 years old, asking for a raise or a opportunity to reach the next level of my career.
My department manager simply said:
"I'm sorry, but in terms of salary you have already reached the end of your career."
Bye then :)34 -
"You don't have to implement all that functionality, just X" - proceeds to describe how X entirely depends on *all that functionality*2
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> IHateForALiving: I have added markdown on the client! Now the sys admin can use markdown and it's going to be rendered as HTML
> Team leader: ok, I've seen you also included some pics of the tests you made. It's nice, there's no XSS vulnerabilities, now I want you to make sure you didn't introduce any SQL injection too. Post the results of the tests in the tickets, for everybody to see.
I've been trying to extract from him for 15 minutes how sending a text through a markdown renderer on the client is supposed to create a SQL injection on the server, I've been trying to extract from him how showing all of this to the world would improve our reputation.
I miserably failed, I don't know how the fuck am I supposed to test this thing and if I a colleague wasted time to make sure some client-side rendering didn't create a SQL injection I'd make sure to point and laugh at them every time they open their mouth.9 -
Conversation I just heard
Manager: How's everyone doing?
Dev: I'm actually really tired. I've been having trouble concentrating and reading. I think I need a vacation.
Manager: Oh but that's good. You see, the brain is like a muscle. Today you lift 30kg, tomorrow you lift 40kg. So you will be able to handle more and more stress as you progress. That's great.
Dev: ...19 -
Imagine: It's the year 4249.
Corporate has finally managed to convince workers that they don't need a salary.
Workers are now paid with food, shelter and clothes. And it's only in effect if you achieve your deadlines.
Keystroke monitoring softwares are now replaced with Webcam eye tracking software.
GitHub Co-Pilot now takes over your code editor and tries to dictate you how to write better code.
Refusing to do results in a signal sent to the management about your behaviour and you lose food access for the day.
HR Recruiters now require you to give them a blood sample and part of your house as a security deposit.
They also require you to have a micro-chip placed in your brain so they can monitor their worker's thought process.
Switching a job is no longer an option. You pledge allegiance to one company your entire career.
You can never see the real world now because the government has mandated you to never take off your VR glasses.
You see the world the way the government wants you to see it.
PHP is still trash.
Life is Good.11 -
I'm fucking tired. We have to deliver everything quickly and perfectly to a bunch of hienas that don't care how we do our job and won't stop complaining about us to our bosses, even though we do what they ask. we're not being given the proper tools to work and other teams in the company are a pain to work with, cause they'd rather sabotage us instead of cooperate. I'm fucking sick of this job3
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In my last job they required us to turn on a task timer for every little thing. Remembering to do that, and to turn it off, was a royal pain. First I had to look up which task it is, start the timer, stop the timer, find the next task and repeat, then flip back to the first task. Lots of open browser tabs within tab groups to keep track of it all. And if I came up short or went over on budget, there was a “conversation” with management to account for discrepancies. Then I had to go by memory and try to reconstruct the “missing time” accurately enough to be convincing.
Now that I’m freelancing, I try to keep up the habit because it does have merit for tracking estimates and actuals, but now it’s just me to answer to for discrepancies and I can fudge the numbers as I see fit. The time records did, however, save my bacon in a recent dispute.5 -
"ChatGPT passed an interview for Google"
"I ask to ChatGPT to write my new song"
"What ChatGPT tells about our humanity"
"ChatGPT pooped its pants"
I'm the only one sick of seeing articles, posts and threads about Chat fucking GPT?! I can't wait for the hype to die out... or for someone to build a time machine able to bring me back to 200919 -
The never ending struggle between my need to do things the right way and the way client wants them3
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I like the modern entertainment industry's approach to tackling piracy.
Make shows/movies so horrible nobody wants to even pirate it.5 -
Me 5 years ago : "Guys we are gonna have a perf..."
CEO : "Not now, we need to deliver that functionality asap"
Me 3 years ago : "Guys, performances/scalibiluity will hit us like a trucK'
CEO : "Not nowem a new functionality needs to be done ASAP"
Me 1 year ago : "We are gonna be hit by a tank. We won't even understand what happens"
CEO : "I'm sure we can manage"
2 Days ago : Plateform quasiment down, response time in MIONUTES instead of milliseconds, database on fire.
CEO : "WHAT THE FUCK !!! GO FIXC I ASAP WE CANNOT HAVE THAT SHIT HAPPEN".
This is a brief summaru of working in a startup.11 -
work laptop without admin permissions to install anything, like a text editor, or IDE
why couldn't i have been born to a rich family instead of being a wageslave4 -
Manager: I’m so sick and tired of you devs whining about technical debt and how it’s slowing down our progress, so here’s the deal. You have until the end of this week to eliminate all technical debt in the codebase. After that I NEVER WANT TO HEAR YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT TECHNICAL DEBT EVER AGAIN!!!
Dev: …15 -
my boss: this fucking thing doesn't get done and everyone is coming after me about it
me, who doesn't have the access required to fix that for him:4 -
I’d heard rumblings from my friends in other parts of the organization that there were going to be layoffs coming, so I’d warned my little engineering team. One of my team was vacationing abroad.
When he came back, one of my teammates told him it was all over and we were going to get fired.
He told me that he’d been told that and I said that it probably wouldn’t affect us and that I wouldn’t worry about it (I was under the impression that the layoffs would only really hit customer-facing roles).
The member of my team who just got back from vacation, the one who I reassured, was the only member of my team who was part of the group laid off.
Goddamn it. -
Recruiter: Your skills are amazing! There's hight demand! massive shortage! the market is hot!
Me: great
Recruiter: But your rate is too high.
Me: ....7 -
I was once told by a manager when I gave my notice that I was ungrateful because they allowed me to take vacations [FROM MY LEGAL VACATION DAYS].3
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Manager: Alright, we've decided we're gonna just going to accept PayPal and also credit card checkout through PayPal in the next two days!
Dev: ...
Manager: We can achieve this timeline, right?
Dev: ...
Manager: Alright, awesome to see your motivation! Let's do it!
Dev: YOU ANSWER PHONE CALLS, TALK TO PEOPLE AND 'STRATEGIZE' ALL DAY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO RELY ON THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE USING THE APP WITHOUT ERROR. THAT'S ON ME, NOT YOU, SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
Manager: ...
Dev: ...rant i love it everyone loves it great startup we are awesome we love it features without error clueless8 -
Storytime!
Manager: Hey fullstackchris, the maps widget on our app stopped working recently...
Dev: (Skeptical, little did he know) Sigh... probably didn't raise quota or something stupid... Logs on to google cloud console to check it out...
Google Dashboard: Your bill.... $5,197 (!!!!!!) Payment method declined (you think?!)
Dev: 😱 WTF!?!?!! (Calls managers) Uh, we have HUGE problem, charges for $5000+ in our google account, did you guys remove the quota limits or not see any limit reached warnings!?
Managers: Uh, we didn't even know that an API could cost money, besides, we never check that email account!
Dev: 🤦♂️ yeah obviously you get charged, especially when there have literally been millions of requests. Anyway, the bigger question is where or how our key got leaked. Somewhat started hammering one of the google APIs with one of our keys (Proceeds to hunt for usages of said API key in the codebase)
Dev: (sweating 😰) did I expose an API key somewhere? Man, I hope it's not my fault...
Terminal: grep results in, CMS codebase!
Dev: ah, what do we have here, app.config, seems fine.... wait, why did they expose it to a PUBLIC endpoint?!
Long story short:
The previous consulting goons put our Angular CMS JSON config on a publicly accessible endpoint.
WITH A GOOGLE MAPS API KEY.
JUST CHILLING IN PLAINTEXT.
Though I'm relieved it wasn't my fault, my faith in humanity is still somewhat diminished. 🤷♂️
Oh, and it's only Monday. 😎
Cheers!10 -
Messaging me at 4:30pm on a Friday about a high priority issue currently in production.
My reply: a link to the code review from 2 months ago that literally explained the problem and what to do to fix it. That got implemented. Then removed. For some reason...
Feels good.2