Found this somewhere and started crying

Every Android user since 10 years ago:

iOS 14 users: WIDGETS!! Look, I have custom icons!!!

cat > /dev/null

I use it to take notes during meetings, they are temporary in the terminal so I am forced to polish them afterwards

Companies: We can’t find any senior developers to hire.

Also companies: We pay seniors like juniors.

This is my first rant!!

But why...... :|

Programming can be fun.

😂 you definitely should

LOL! ROFL!

Regarding my last rant:
I have all my 3 Raspberrys set up for seti@home now, reporting to twitter and my own "surveillance" system for them.
The system is still ugly, the code is ugly but that's getting improved next!

I have just concluded a post-mortem on one of my servers.
Cause of death: out of memory due to a tiny memory leak in a VPN service triggered by 66 different IPs brute-forcing the creds at the same time. Mostly from China, of course.

Dear bot writers: you made me put aside my spaghetti and write iptables rules. I hate iptables. And I love spaghetti. You should be ashamed of yourself! Did momma not teach you basic OpSec? Don't crash the target and never, ever, interrupt the sysadmin during dinner!

This is so me 😂

Urrrgh

My teacher was presenting and her pp crashed. She just continued with her presentation but her desktop was showing. I instantly noticed she had a "stickynote" with her login details for our grading system and I tried telling her to put her laptop to sleep or anything but she got mad at me for interupting class and threw me out of class. My revenge will be showing admins the picture of her desktop ;)

Daily reminder:
You are not payed to write code. You are payed to think.

Never leave your login on a postit

*In Office
Coworker raises his head, looks at boss: "I'm leaving".

Boss raises head looks at coworker: "Ok".

All this took 5 seconds,..the weirdest 5 seconds of my life

Git : Can't pull because there are uncommitted changes.

Me : *check the changes*

Git : None

Me : ಠ_ಠ

2011: 3 billion devices run Java
2018: 3 billion devices run Java

Pushed my first own open source project to Pypi as a python package.
Used tox and travis for the first time.

Feeling proud and super content 😊.

I'm in the process of creating another open source package, which has as dependency the first one 😅.

I love Python.

Vim as IDE for GO!
Works like charm ✌😋

Why is it so hard to code when you bleed. T_T
I just can't.

Girlfriend (art student): “You’re in CS. Why don’t you use Windows? Macs are terrible for programming.”

Me: “macOS is better for doing command line compilation and shit because it supports Unix terminal commands and stuff with a reliable OS that’s better-supported than most Linux OSes. I also have Windows on my laptop too, for Visual Studio.”

Girlfriend: “Only like 1% of people use command line stuff. Windows is better for programming. I’ve seen a lot of CS majors use Windows.”

Me: “Uh. You watch me use my computer every day. The stuff I do in Terminal takes forever on Windows.”

Girlfriend: “Yeah, but Windows is just better for programming though.”

Help.

Roses are red..🌹🌹
Sky is blue...🌌🌌
unexpected '{' on line 72

Hey, have you ever wanted to punch a developer 8611 times before?

What are you doing with 2KB of ram?
1969: NASA - "We just put some guys on the moon and got them back to Earth safely."

2018: Me - "I'm just struggling to run a 10 line Java program that prints the answer to an addition problem to the console."

Stackoverflow.

Registration confirmation email received from clover community website. Well played Clover 👍

Well that was a fun call I just had.

Owner of the company I freelance for: Hey I forgot to tell you something.

Me: What?

Owner: I bought you a plane ticket to fly to Puerto Rico. You're heading out in a month.

Me: What?! Why????

Owner: To set up cryptocurency mining rigs.

Me: Just because I know a bit about mining doesn't make me an expert.

Owner: We have $80k in our pocket in investments from outside parties, with another $20-30k on the way. You get 20% of the coins mined for as long as you manage it.

Me: So we're gonna set up several rigs, utilizing a b250 motherboard, g4400 CPU, 8GB of RAM and 10 GPUs each. We'll have AMD rigs for monero and Nvidia rigs for Ethereum and others. We'll use awesome miner for profitability switching on the fly. Each machine is probably going to be $5k each, possibly $4k with bulk discounts. We'll need at least 1500W per rig for power, 2000W to be safe, so we need to make sure we have ample power delivery to the mining warehouse.

Owner: I thought you weren't an expert?

Me: I'm not, but when there's money involved my motivation to Google goes into overdrive.

Myth debunked. This explains the history of Apple computers.