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Details

About

Will write code for cookies
Skills

Android, iOS, Java, Swift, Kotlin
Website

https://www.linakis.net

Joined devRant on 2/20/2018

140

Before you're hired:
1. A binary tree?
2. Currying?
3. Higher-order function?
4. How does event loop work?
5. What is prototype?
6. What is encapsulation?
7. Can you draw an algorithm?

After you're hired:
1. Hey, can you add auth token and login to our app?

rant real world recruitments interviews devlife devs

11
288

Kenyans lost these great devs in a terror attack. A moment of silence

random loss sad rip

17
87

I code so my cat can live a better life

random cat code

10
192

Cheers guys.

joke/meme

11
125

Client: you never sent an email!! What am i paying you for!!
Me: *checks freshsales, sees he's ACTUALLY OPENED THE EMAIL* sir we're sure we've sent you an email.
*Argumen goes on for a while*
Me: *pissed, sends freshsales screenshot that he's opened it* have you or have you not opened this email on your account ****@**.com?
Client: oh on that account? Ok.

rant

3
218

Keep backups in a safe place ;)

joke/meme

5
286

friend of mine: "I like my servers like I like my girls"
me: "insecure?"

joke/meme insecure girls joke insecure servers

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132

RE: Why I punched Dave
In my defense to the accusation against me punching back end developer dave in the face, look at the following response:
HTTP 1.1
status: 200
mesaage: OK
body: {
"success": "false",
"message": "error"
}

rant why i punched dave bad response

11
213

To whoever stole my Microsoft Office license I will find and kill you!

You have my Word

joke/meme

13
88

JS Frameworks

joke/meme js joker meme

4
496

Github after Microsoft purchase

joke/meme

15
468

MS buys Github?

GitHub Starter
GitHub for Students
GitHub Home Basic
GitHub Home Premium
GitHub Professional
GitHub Enterprise
GitHub Business
GitHub Ultimate
GitHub 2018 R2
...

rant

40
133

Me: double taps a rant to upvote.

Popup: Hint. You can double tap a rant to upvote.

Umm, sure. Thanks..

joke/meme devrant

3
478

Random guy : Well I'm not tracked on the internet, I use private tabs.
Me : Well, I'm not sleeping with your mom, I use condoms

rant

10
478

Ghostery just leaked all of their users email addresses in their GDPR compliance email.

rant privacy gdpr ghostery

41
322

Just one last commit

joke/meme after programming before github commit coding code programmer

9
357

If you hold a Unix shell up to your ear you can hear the C.

random c joke unix

8
557

GDPR done right. 😂😂

joke/meme

9
35

Me: <!DOCTYPE html>
Jekyll: BUILD FAILED

rant

1
600

Well that was a fun call I just had.

Owner of the company I freelance for: Hey I forgot to tell you something.

Me: What?

Owner: I bought you a plane ticket to fly to Puerto Rico. You're heading out in a month.

Me: What?! Why????

Owner: To set up cryptocurency mining rigs.

Me: Just because I know a bit about mining doesn't make me an expert.

Owner: We have $80k in our pocket in investments from outside parties, with another $20-30k on the way. You get 20% of the coins mined for as long as you manage it.

Me: So we're gonna set up several rigs, utilizing a b250 motherboard, g4400 CPU, 8GB of RAM and 10 GPUs each. We'll have AMD rigs for monero and Nvidia rigs for Ethereum and others. We'll use awesome miner for profitability switching on the fly. Each machine is probably going to be $5k each, possibly $4k with bulk discounts. We'll need at least 1500W per rig for power, 2000W to be safe, so we need to make sure we have ample power delivery to the mining warehouse.

Owner: I thought you weren't an expert?

Me: I'm not, but when there's money involved my motivation to Google goes into overdrive.

rant google search mining cryptocurrency

28
426

I shall not be limited by the boundaries that they have defined for me! I shall break free from these chains and transcend my internal barriers!
I shall earn my freedom!
-cursor

rant mouse presentation stray cursor funny

9
318

Me: "Delete this file."
Windows: "Someone is using it."
Me: "Who?"
Windows: "I can't say."
Me: "I checked using a utility. It says your file explorer is the one using it!"
Windows: "Well, I had to show a preview."
Me: "Why?"
Windows: "Because you selected the file to delete it!"

Credit: https://twitter.com/cmuratori/...

rant window microsoft

9
173

!rant

Just watched the intern pull a beer from the beer fridge, and it's only 11:15am. What a fucking champion.

rant intern beer

17
881

In Europe, we use € instead of $ in jQuery.

rant var joke = €('#haha');

72
334

A friend needed to test an API so, I told him to download Postman to start testing POST request and he ask if he needed to download Getman for testing the GET ones 🤣

rant postman

17
777

Google => googled

Duck duck go => duck duck went?

🤔

rant showerthoughts

41
674

Dev: Microsoft is shit

VS Code: (ಥ⌣ಥ)

Dev: Oh not you dear! You're not like the other guys

VS Code: (｡◕‿◕｡)

rant

45
272

Me: I’ve been in the web since 2006, of course i know html,css,javascript.
Also me: Google how to center a div.

rant true story

28
961

Yesterday, my employer promoted me to lead web developer.

I’m still the only web developer.

rant

21
147

Confessions of a Programmer

#1
If a client is an unbearable asshole during the initial communication, I look for every excuse to pad on the hours for the estimate to get paid more. If a client goes above and beyond in their douchbaggery, I tack on an additional $40/hour.

#2
Sometimes I will present an elaborate solution to a client, but really I'm just reading off the features of a plugin or library I'm going to download or buy after the call. Not because I can't build it myself, but because I'd rather spend more time on other/my own projects.

#3
Clients assume because I know one language, I know them all. Rather than turning down the work, I take a crash course to work in that language, or outsource the work and clean it up afterwards, whichever is more practical at the time.

#4
I use cPanel on a dedicated to manage our client websites. I'm not paid enough to bother with setting up everything manually.

#5
Certain projects I build have a 3-day backdoor built into it. If the client doesn't pay upon completion, a unique hash triggered as a GET variable deletes a core file in my work, rendering the work useless. If it wasn't triggered by the 4th day, the file allowing me to trigger this backdoor is removed. This is only used for clients where the project must be launched on their servers, or if there has been a previous issue collecting payment.

#6
I slip in the initial contract that all preceeding phone calls will be monitored and recorded, and that they acknowledge the recordings are admissable in court. This has saved me from losing money twice now.

#7
I have never used an IDE. (I know, I know, it's really inefficient and dumb, but I'm just more comfortable with Sublime. Plus I often find myself mobile and without my computer, so I have to program from my phone.)

#8
Each day resembles a betting spectacle of which work will be late, which will be rushed out and which will never see the light of day.

#9
I have used "sick" and "family emergency" as an excuse to just sleep in far more than I can count.

#10
When a client from hell crosses over the line in their conduct (such as getting very nasty and personal, or sending threats), I anonymously report them to the BBB and on RipOffReport.

rant confessions clients from hell

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