Another VERY satisfying commit.

Our team just got the best email from our client hahaha

Hello from Mauritius!

From the Gods of The Stack Overflow for the pesants of the community:

https://goalkicker.com

Just go there. This is everything you have to know, ever.

"Is it just me or is Youtube down?"
YES
IT'S JUST YOU
THEY PICKED YOU OUT OF A BILLION USERS
AND TOOK IT DOWN
Sorry, good night.

Pls send help. I having problems with following code:

Human h = WildOrangutan
.getInstance();
Ass ass = h.getAss();

Toilet toilet = new Toilet();
ass.attachTo(toilet);

while (ass.hasOutput()) {
ass.output();
h.readDevrant();
}

ass.detach(toilet);

// This throws
// OutOfToiletPaperException
ass.clean();

Got eye problems and I have to see a doctor today. Told my boss I can't see myself going to work today. I think he got the message.

Dude! We have toilets on each floor. Why do you push shit on git?

"This is not an application: it's a bug pretending to be an application." (This comment was left as an app review on Google Play Store)

Happened a while ago but I still find it funny.

*phone rings*
Me: good morning sir, how can I help you?
Client: MY WEBSITE IS OFFLINE, FIX IT RIGHT NOW.
M: I'm going to take a look, what's the domain?
C: *gives domain*
M: I see, that domain expired already, it was cancelled through our customer portal by the client, you maybe or someone you know?
C: WHAT?! MY INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS DEPENDS ON THAT DOMAIN, I'D NEVER CANCEL IT, THIS IS BULLSHIT! I'F THE SITE GOES OFFLINE FOR A MONTH I'LL FUCKING GO BANKRUPT, YOU'RE GOING TO FIX THIS RIGHT NOW.
M: if I may ask, how is your business doing right now?
C: HOW IS THAT QUESTION RELEVANT RIGHT NOW?!
M: well, you said that if the site would go offline for a month, you'd go bankrupt. The domain registration ended about half a year ago so that's why I aske......

*beeeeep beeeeep beeeeep*

Well, okay then.

Just do it!

Every Open Source Project Needs a License......

Keep backups in a safe place ;)

That day has finally come

Are you even a dev if you haven't done this once?

One company i applied for never wanted to give me the job because they where building a prototype and they wanted someone familiar with their stack to get things up in a short time span.

*Fast forward 7 months*

The company i work currently with has been developing prototypes for startups to help validate their ideas and guess what, the bunch above came to our company unknowing that i work here and i have been put on the project as a lead.

Lol man, you cant write this stuff

True shit.

Floppy disks are Jesus Christ

Why people don't understand that?

Rant. Always start debugging with the start point :p

We have a lamp with a dimmer.
A day, the dimmer make some noisy noise. Just down it and the lamp never bright again.

I open the dimmer, check all connection, bullshit what is wrong?
I decide to bypass the dimmer with a standard interrupter. But doesn’t work.
Finally.... I check the bulb 💡 and... burned...

Morality: if the bulb doesn’t work, check the bulb!
:p

I’m hopelessly brand loyal at times but after a day with Vim I’ve decided to jump ship. Ciao sublime ✌️

Well, I mean, it’s a no-frills explanation at least...

Sometimes it works... :)

A geeky poem...

"Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing." - Ron Swanson

You know you are in India when Google starts it's cloud summit with a dance performance!!

Ha. Nice try.

Food arrives, boss grabs his food.

Boss: ahhhh finally! *looks lovingly at food* you won't hear me for the next 15 minutes 😍 *starts eating*
Me: well that was about fucking time.
Boss: 😐😶
Other engineers: 😂 *trying to keep food in*

Hugs and kisses❌
Bugs and fixes✔️

I’ve finally gotten a desktop for work. So I don’t have to use my own mbp.

I think I’ve got enough screens, for now.
What annoys me is that none of them are same type, size or brightness