"Do I look pregnant?"
- Male coworker

And yes... He did look pregnant

My pronouns are C/C++

From “craziest deadline” to “unrealistic deadline”, we all grew up.

I nearly died 3 years ago. I hate this new, anxious me. Being vulnerable is so fucking hard. Fuck.

I use arch, btw

- WE NEED TO KNOW THE VERSION OF THE SYSTEM THIS INSTANT!
"what? version? wtf are you talking about"
- THE CLIENT HAS I.T. GUIDELINES TO STRICT CONTROL THE VERSION OF EACH SOFTWARE VENDOR'S SYSTEMS!
"We are not a 'software vendor', we provide them consulting on logistics!"
- THEY USE OUR WEBSITE! THIS MAKES US A SOFTWARE VENDOR!
"Wouldn't that make 'google' their vendor too?"
- IM SURE THEY STRICTLY CONTROL GOOGLE'S VERSION TOO!
"I'm pretty sure they don't. But, whatever, that do answers the question of what they want. Some paperwork jockey wants a meaningless number to fill a form, let's give'em one"

I just had someone make an API endpoint where they can ask "the version", and it is just the number of commits in our production branch. For lols, we even 0-fill and split every three magnitude orders with a dot, so we're in version 0.012.345 or something.
Major version upgrade every million commits!

Fuck those guideline-parrots who are unaware that words sometimes have meaning, and sometimes not.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet

I took 5 hours to do something using Chat GPT that manually could've done in less than hour.

Am i cool or what? 😎

Fuck everyone who does the above

Remember that life short, spend as much time as possible arguing with idiots online.

"Manager,, can we change the names of our master branch to main"

"It might upset the muscle memory of others"

👍 Our entirely white team.👍

Dev trend I think will pass?

Creating new frameworks on this dumpster fire of a language we call JavaScript.

What’s your favourite coding joke?

Mine is:
Why do programmers use dark mode?
Because light attracts the bugs!

This is why we can't have nice things...

I'd like to self report that I killed my children. Both me and the author should be arrested.

If you create a website with a login function, please mention the password requirements on the login page (not just the signup page, in the login page too). So i know which of my default passwords i used for this website.

Never forget, learning feels like flailing.

If you're not flailing, you're not learning.

Warning: does not apply to swimming.

200 OK
{ ok: false, error: "Not found", code: 404 }

Code is not self documenting..

reading 10k+ lines of business logic does not take the place of well defined documentation.

Mic drop.

the NPM ecosystem

I'm about to uninstall IObit uninstaller with IObit uninstaller... Should this be called murder or suicide?

How evolution works.

This post made my day...

Searched stackoverflow and found the exact issue I was having. The question is from 2014.

The accepted answer is a messy hack. Fuck.

The second answer is clean, clear, concise. It was posted 38 minutes ago.

Is this real life?

Found this somewhere and started crying

To the cunt who named himself "Uncaught ReferenceError: username is not defined":
Sincerely, fuck you.

And that was the world's leading professional social network, ladies and gentleman!

Happy Christmas.

Found Ghidra today.
Fuck IDA.

Dear recruiters,
if you are looking for

- Java,Python, PHP
- React,Angular
- PostgreSQL, Redis, MongoDB
- AWS, S3, EC2, ECS, EKS
- *nix system administration
- Git and CI with TDD
- Docker, Kubernetes

That's not a Full Stack Developer
That’s an entire IT department

Yours truly #stolen

2038 because of integer overflow we can finally start time travel and maybe a few satellites will fall down.