I'm going to install linux...

clientCount--;
happinessCount++;

The 8 year old is learning Python, and after a dealing with a syntax bug she asks: "If the computer knows I'm missing a semicolon here, why won't it add it itself?"

I don't know. I really don't know.

Just read this in a blog post by Jon Arundel, I think he's spot on:

"Programmers are incurable optimists: we always think our code will work, despite much evidence to the contrary."

My contract of working for the company (IbqhfErfrnepuCranatZnynlfvn) will end on 30 APR 2022. The reason was I quit due to an unrealistic deadline (eg, completing the entire e-commerce app similar to (Taobao, Shopee and Amazon) from scratch in a month that I just joined) and also due to an impatient boss with who I had to deal with his bad behaviour like over micromanaging of what I do at weekend and demanding me to work 24/7 and over time will not be paid.

*INCOMPREHENSIVE YELLING ABOUT SOMETHING MADE BY APPLE*

Someone call a damn ambalam

Client: When will you give me an update on this feature

Me: In two weeks

Client: okay that’s fine

Client proceeds to call me everyday asking me for an update🤨🤨

Fuck you sir.

I might quit my job again

The person who invented powerpoint and those who use it/love it should be skinned alive.

FUCKING SHIT OF A PRODUCT.

On the other side, instead of torturing someone to death, force them to use Power point for 2 hours a day and that will be enough for the person to beg you to kill them.

Join me in this journey against power point.

Monday morning: The last straw.

After talking about in a previous rant about how my client wants to fix bugs that keeps popping out after bug fix.

Today I discovered, that all C-levels, worked all Saturday to "fix my code" because it "didn't work" and we "needed bug fixes not pretty things".

The app version I was working on for the last week is gone. Without mentioning that their "CTO" wrote a fucking crappy code to disable features that I added, breaking the build step.

This shit is enough for me, I'm done!

Telling the customer that they are breaching guidelines.

"This cannot be against the guidelines. We always did it that way"
...
Ehm. You did what?

eclipse is probably the worst IDE ive used so far

Just visited my colleagues in the office during educational leave and my boss asked if she could talk to me for 5 minutes. Turns out that since our team's last project (which apparentoy was super important) went live successfully, they decided to offer all involved employees a bonus. And they said the ones that earn less would get a higher bonus. So... Junior me is getting a whooping 2000€.

Had a panic attack during a coding assignment and now every time I think about that problem I just start spacing. Noice.

Also dear companies: if you wanna ask your interviewees about trying to deduce a theorem out of nowhere, maybe do it in the first test and not in the last one. Cause that’s a shot in the dark to someone who’s not a mathematician and id feel waaay less frustrated if I didn’t give you 6 hours of my life just to end up with an arbitrary task like this.

Uhm No, No I'm not signed in.

Behold the PHP pyramid of doom!
You know what kind of code is coming... a big pile of shite! 😍

Obviously you have to return by reference (&) because of performance and memory reasons. ☝️🤓

Man... I've seen code...

It’s only Tuesday... fml

Happy 2's day!

Best of luck to all Ukrainian ranters. Buffer states are awful places to be.

Can't stand more unproductive teams/zoom meetings anymore!!!

Fck this pandemic crap, let me code in peace!!!

Like "Why is Facebook webpage running so slow" (I think cuz of all the tracking stuff, and they are having trouble on my Linux machine). But I gave it a naive duck-duck and found this brilliant tip to "Reinstall JavaScript" to improve that performance. I'm just so speechless rn... And the cherry on the ice-cream is the link :D

Eu was sorting out the rules for Carbon Tax.

It decided that private jets, private yachts, and "leisure flights" will be exempt.

Because of course. Normal people are not, and never were, the clients of this system.

Fuck Jira

i was probably 4 or 5, my mom brought some educational games from school and I'd often play them. I don't remember a time before computers though

COVID variants should adopt a semantic versioning, rather than using greek alphabetics.
COVID v.19.2.34
COVID V.22.1 Beta (testing in US)
COVID v.22 release 1 (being tested somewhere in London)
COVID v.22 nightly builds (still brewing in China)

[wordpress trigger warning]

Had an idiotic colleague who re-implemented the insert image function as a shortcode. A “senior php developer”. No, I’m not kidding.

Him: “But this way we can set a class”
Me: “As you can with the standard mode”
Him “No you can’t”
Me: *shows*
Him (smiling): “well why don’t you remove my stuff then?”

Tempted to set it as my auto-reply 🤔

Whatever I do, I can not change the situation.
What do you suggest? (I am very weak socially)

I bless everyone with happiness worth billions of dollars and additional billion dollar in cash.

Live happy everyone. I hope all your good dreams come true.