We need a program called Waldo. So if someone pirates the software they can call it: "Warez Waldo"

Deleted over 1'500 lines of code over the last 2 days and replaced it with 80 lines of readable, simple, generic code.

And I'm feeelin' gooood 🎶

Priorities.

Manic episode is the intelligence of Albert Einstein, combined with the speed of a supercomputer and determination of a crackhead.

What happens when downloading files is fast?
Downloading Files Flies
or Downloading Flies

It sounded better in my head. Now it is awkward. Do you feel awkward? Stop it dad, you are embarrassing me and yourself!

My job here is done.

When you hit the rock bottom, remember that at the very least you're better than those who use * in SQL selects bc they're too lazy to specify the fields they need.

This is what I talk with Dev every day

Lesson I learnt the hard way today: ticket every fucking task (including admin) to:

A. Cover your arse (if the tickets are not ready because they haven't given us enough information, push back on it before committing too much effort to doing it)
B. Better deliverable (what you output will probably be better quality because you worked out the requirements upfront + you know the audience)
C. You have something to show management when they want to try and overwork you some more

No comments on PR after thorough review

This is my first time on a WFH setup.

Is it normal that our working hours are 8am to 5pm, but we usually start the work on 9 or 10am?

This is my second job and on my first job (on-site) is always full of task to work on. Is this normal for a WFH? 😬

Thank you, instagram, for making me feel better about my programming mistakes

The requirements said chain saw

200 OK
{ ok: false, error: "Not found", code: 404 }

The "backend developer" has to know everything.

Having a PM is like having a little kid, while driving somewhere, and he's constantly asking: "Are we there yet??".

...............

Simple 1 day task. This idiot takes two weeks and after 7 days of hounding finally opens a pull request.

I go in to review the code. Should be a simple 10-15 line patch.

13,000 lines of code changed.

THIRTEEN THOUSAND!

"I fixed a bunch of formatting mistakes and replaced all instances of single quotes to double. Consistency is important you know."

Project manager:
"Ah, we have so many projects. We want to finish all at once. Can you work 1 hour on each project every day?"

Not doing that, gtfo.

A big FUCK YOU to all those sites that disable paste on text inputs

HR: Everyone must fill out these 100% anonymous surveys about how you feel about our company, it’s leadership, and how likely you are to leave in the next 6 months etc. Please be 100% honest, since again it is 100% anonymous. Reminder! You must use the individual links we sent to you, do NOT use someone else’s link. Oh did we say it’s 100% anonymous?

The Link:

www. surveygen .com/ companysurvey123 ?employeeName=boombodies &employeeId=6969

Dev: …

Yesterday's (scheduled and adhoc) meetings:
10:30-11:00
11:00-11:30
12:30-1:30 (adhoc)
1:30-2:30
4:30-5:00
6:00-6:20 (adhoc)

Today's (scheduled) meetings:
9:30-10:00
11:00-12:00
12:30-1:15
1:30-2:30

Tomorrow's meetings include a 1:1 with my boss who will invariably ask why I'm not done on this "should take a week" project that I've had for a week, despite that he just unblocked me on yesterday morning, and I've had nothing but meetings since...

Fucking hell.
They fill my day with shit spaced out just enough to waste practically my entire freaking day so I can't get anything done, conveniently forget this, and then have the audacity to yell at me for not finishing my tickets. Of course I didn't finish! You all were too busy blabbing at me every day for the past fucking week! (Oh, and do they listen if I have something to say? Of course they fucking don't.)

Also, as a secondary rant, the product douchebag files tickets (usually complex as hell tickets worded to appear trivial) with enough missing information to make missing large sections of them easy. If I ask him for clarification, he tells me to read the ticket, and if I insist, he gets all exasperated and quickly zooms through the site faster than I can follow, shows maybe half of what's in the ticket, and asks why I don't know how to do any of this yet. After I finish his shit ticket (and true to his douchebag nature) he blames me for missing several of those pieces he never outlined or showed, and insists that I obviously don't test anything. And because that's clearly not douchey enough, the fucking sack of shit also goes behind my back and trashtalks me to my coworkers, tells them he can't trust me to do a simple fucking thing, and that he's given up on me.

What the FUCK is wrong with these people?

If I never have to use Teams again it would be too soon

That's it. I'm done. I'm out. Tired of a team and manager who refuse to make me feel like part of the team.

Officially started looking for a new job today.

🤞

“Yeah but you’re not a *real* developer”

Fuck. you.

I wrote 80% of this code base. I do 80% of the tickets/storyboard points. I do all of the QA. My nose is to the grindstone every fucking day honing this craft and sweating my balls off like a blacksmith staring into the red hot kiln while the sores of previous mistakes scream bloody murder from the unrelenting exposure to heat. I saw this amazing industry of opportunity, freedom and self examination and wanted in no matter what it took. I glued myself to every pithy resource I could possibly get my hands on and crawled through the muck and filth of it all until I could keep myself warm with the smallest spark of my own making. I stoked that spark until it became a fire and stoked that fire until I could set entire forests ablaze. I listened to the ungrateful people keeping warm by my combustion saying it “wasn’t hot enough” or “would have been a nicer colour if they did it” or “could have warmed up just fine jogging on the spot”. I made painstaking alterations to my ignition and watched my undeserving benefactors gradually be silenced and begin to sit quietly by the heat. I jumped into that inferno daily, was reduced to ash daily and emerged reborn daily. But you are right! I didn’t get scammed out of $40k+ studying technology in an archaic institution from instructors who don’t give a shit and answering “D all of the above” for 4+ years straight therefor my opinion doesn’t mean shit. Push your bullshit to prod and watch the server come burning out of the cloud as the apocalyptic swarm of angry tickets come flooding in why don’t you? Bet they didn’t teach you that in school. You’ve never poked around inside an open source codebase in your life. They are just a mystery boxes of magic that unless someone holds your hands with finely crafted instructions containing a 50/50 picture to word ratio you throw a hissy fit. Every problem that comes up instead of working to solve it you reflexively point to the first person in the room while thinking with your pea brain how you can possibly scapegoat them into taking the fall for whatever it is that’s come up today you couldn’t possibly understand.

Not a real developer?

Fuck. You.

Remember defragging?

So I was code reviewing this guy's code before merging into the master branch.... and then I FOUND THIS FUCKING CODE, WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the fuck is this ???

Hey Visual Studio, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK MY CODE IS SUDDENLY READ ONLY YOU BLOATED PIECE OF SHIT

User: We have been dealing with this bug for a month now! How come nobody has fixed it?

Dev: Who did notify about this issue?

User: You’re not listening we have been dealing with this for a MONTH!

Dev: When this issue first occurred did you tell anyone?

User: Yes!

Dev: Who?

User: …. Ok I don’t remember but I know I said something to someone. Anyway it doesn’t matter, your job is IT so how come this isn’t fixed?

Dev: Did you have an email? Ticket number? Teams message? Any record of where this was dropped?

User: I think you’re missing the point. We haven’t been able to do out jobs for A MONTH. We’ve just been sitting around completely helpless. We’ve been trying to figure a system using paper and pencil to replace the electronic one but it’s too complicated. How come this wasn’t fixed the second it happened?

Dev: It’s hard to respond to an issue if it’s not brought to out attention.

User: Ok but we are too busy to create a ticket! We have a million things to do and we can’t do any of them because your app doesn’t work! We’ve been sitting here telling each other how terrible this system is AND IT HAS BEEN A MONTH.

Dev: …. Yeah I got that

Guys!

I got a job offer! I start the 26th! (Assuming all goes well)

So I moved from being the TL of a small team to a member of another team a month ago.

A dev from the old team sent me this today morning. He also sent some examples of what he found "cool", and tbh I'm pretty proud of those modules. I tried being very modest there, but I'm very happy 😅