No Internet: Can't work, no internet.
Internet back: Can't work, internet.

The math problem we've all encountered once -

There are 8 apples. Jack ate 3. Find the mass of free elctron floating inside the atom of phosphorus.

Worth mentioning our client who asks similar questions. That fucker.

Hey, have you ever wanted to punch a developer 8611 times before?

A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict.

Me: I’ve been in the web since 2006, of course i know html,css,javascript.
Also me: Google how to center a div.

And also the education loan

Wrote a nodejs script which reads emails from my college searching for keywords like free, food, and refreshments. When it finds one of those it notifies me that free food is somewhere on campus.

Necessity is the mother of invention

Me: "Delete this file."
Windows: "Someone is using it."
Me: "Who?"
Windows: "I can't say."
Me: "I checked using a utility. It says your file explorer is the one using it!"
Windows: "Well, I had to show a preview."
Me: "Why?"
Windows: "Because you selected the file to delete it!"

Credit: https://twitter.com/cmuratori/...

My shower renders temperature as a boolean. 😩

Typical js frontend:

Simple page with 4 links. 5 megabytes.

When you use a new technology without reading the documentation first.

A friend needed to test an API so, I told him to download Postman to start testing POST request and he ask if he needed to download Getman for testing the GET ones 🤣

Me: I have admin rights
Windows: Looks legit
Me: can I delete this folder ?
Windows: Nope

Me: Oh it's just a simple formatting/styling issue, shouldn't take but a minute
Computer: *laughs in html*

so this just happened

JavaScript...

I'm trying out a new rendering engine, it's pretty slow but I'm getting somewhere.

My (6 years old) client is sitting next to me and is kind of picky and tells me exactly what to do.

No payout though 🤔

*gets called by recruiter*

R: “We have a job in IT for you at one of our biggest clients”
M: “Okay, what exactly would I be doing?”
R: “Uh I don’t know, we haven’t received an actual job description”
M: “.... seriously?”

I'm starting to think people don't know what the word "decentralized" means.

*Changes code*
*alt + tab to website*
*ctrl + s to save changes*

FUUUUUU...

!rant
It's been over a year coding professionally as a frontend Dev and it seems like I have built my career so far just by knowing flexbox.

(I'm a flexbox wizard now btw)

This one had me laughing for a good minute!

When you want to report a bug. Only to find another one...

CS Professor: “What M word is the black hole to all productivity?”

Student: “Management”

CS Professor: “Was going to say meetings but that’s better”

This is why I prefer working alone. Its sadly true...

Google => googled

Duck duck go => duck duck went?

🤔

!rant

If you haven't checked it out yet, all devs need Devdocs.io + Station

Hands down the most useful resources I've ever come across.

This one site and tool saves me so many chrome tabs it's worth its weight in gold.

Combined with Station (getstation.com) I've cut my RAM usage down by 1/3 overall.

When you have PS CC2018 and Visual Studio 2017 running on a netbook it's helpful to squeeze every little bit.

If your npm/yarn config breaks on windows clap your hands
👏👏
If your npm/yarn config breaks on windows clap your hands
👏👏
Express generator doesn't work, and sass will up and break because there is no support for windows clap your hands
👏👏🎵🎶

Sigh.......das it...i am bringing the mac or one of my Linux machines tomorrow........

I JUST WROTE A 2000 CHARACTER RANT AND THE DEVRANT APP CRASHED

>:((((( ANGERY

What do you think about a digital assistant made by the NSA, for example for people with dementia?
It would be accessible everywhere and it would know everything
and it could result in some nice dialogues:

>> "Okay NSA?"
"Yo, I'm always listening."
>> "I forgot to take some nice pictures from my last vacation, do you have some for me? D:"
"Of course, here ya go."

And you could even trigger it without a keyword.
>> *Walks to the fridge*
"Hey, you've already been at the fridge 45 minutes ago and since then you haven't bought anything."
>> "Thank you NSA"