Sorry, boss. You can either have me friendly/sociable at work or pass a random. Not both.

Recently replaced project lead sends repeated harassment emails about “blown timeline.” Current PL says don’t worry, tells former PL to back off. I bust my ass 12+ hr / weekends and finish. Former PL says he was just pushing so I wouldn’t have to work so hard. Fucking managers.

😭😭😭😭😭😭

Well my country broke the record of being the cyber bully...

I don't know what to feel.... This is bad..

Azure Devops doesn't deserve the right to call an error "unexpected"

Motherfucker if the project uses Eslint to enforce code standards, please don't start every fucking file with 20 lines of /*eslint-disable*/s

It's there to fucking help you and all the new devs who have to deal with your shitty code. I'm sorry that you're too fucking lazy to make a few small tweaks so that future developers don't have to deal with your sad braindead 1337speak JavaScript

Just use the fucking tool like everyone else, you don't have to fucking disable it so that your sad ego can continue to think you're the Bill Gates of JavaScript

Here's a riddle for you...

Ariana is looking at Shawn who is looking at Justin. Given to you is that Ariana is married & Justin is not.
So is a Married person looking at an unmarried person ?

Options:
A) YES
B) NO
C) CANNOT BE DETERMINED

Don't look for answers in the comments, Dumbo.😆 Ask it to a smart friend of yours. And, If you like this riddle, give me a ++.
I will post a new brain bending riddle everyday if you all like it. 😁

Me: I finished the tests! Almost 1000 lines of testing data. They're actually pretty thorough. We're ready to push the changed.

Manager: That's great! But the requirements changed. We're gonna change the schema and queries quite a bit.

👏 Add polls to DevRant 👏

Why the fuuuck does this happen to my half a year old computer? 🙄

PS. don't judge, this is just for gaming. Linux otherwise.

IT Manager: What kind if attachment did you send me in that email?

Me: A .zip?

IT Manager: ...?

Me: A zip file? Zipped Folder?

IT Manger: ...?

Me: Umm... the data file you needed has to be sent in a zip folder because 6 different file types combine to make it? Just download the .zip and extract?

IT Manager: I don't know how to extract the files?

Me: ...

One of the best feelings is when you're reviewing PRs, leave a comment of an issue you're seeing & another developer supports & agrees your comment, so the original creator of the PR doesn't think you're making things up.

I should probably rename this variable...

Every time I read/type it, my inner voice goes "for fucks sake"....

Dear CORS,

Fuck you.

Sincerely,
localhost:8080 connecting to localhost:8000

Can you fix the backend on the frontend, preferably with just CSS, let's keep things simple

Parent: Your room is a mess
Me: You should see my code

*Flying slipper received*

For IT-guys, LinkedIn is like a reverse dating platform. Girls text you and you ignore them.

It's Friday and guess what?

We are fucking deploying on prod!

During the 3 years I've been in this job I have had one pay increase.

My manager has gotten 2 raises and 2 promotions (which each come with a pay raise) during that same time.

My company really knows how to make you feel unappreciated.

Web Developers: We care about the people around us.

Also Web Developers (right before release): The fuck with ARIA, just roll out the website already.

*has a great company name idea*
*tries to register domain*
*domain taken*
*looks at whois*
*i already own it*
i don’t know how to feel

So when softbank puts billions into some bubble startup that’s “disruptive” and “being a visionary”, but when me and the boys buy some gamestop stock that’s “manipulating the market”? Ffs 🤦

Dear Microsoft,

Thanks for not completely fucking up Github. At least you didn't integrate Office365, allow only Azure deployments, or force downloading repos through OneDrive or something.

But like most developers, I don't deal well with changes to familiar interfaces.

So please.... STOP FUCKING TWEAKING THE BUTTON PLACEMENTS AND TEXTS ALL OVER THE WEBSITE.

(or at least send me a bottle of cognac and a box of chocolates before every UI experiment, so I can deal with it emotionally. I'm a very sensitive boy, you know).

He installed? Deprecate it

That moment when your supervisor gets back to you so fucking late that you consider dropping out literally days before finishing your degree.

Lol. Kill me right now please.

Diet has got its own fun 😂

Learn React.

Got Angular and Vue under my belt. Might as well get the trifecta

Work from mountains ( not home )

I propose the word “sprength” as a name for spring strength.

GUESS WHAT? HE WANTS ANOTHER FUCKING FEATURE!

AND WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T HAVE TIME BECAUSE CODE-COMPLETE IS TOMORROW, HE SAID HE’LL PUNT IT TO NEXT YEAR INSTEAD OF RELEASING IT THIS WEEK SO I CAN “BUILD IT RIGHT.” MAN, FUCK YOU AND YOUR ENDLESS CHANGES!

THIS WAS GOING TO BE A TWO WEEK TICKET UNTIL HE STARTED ADDING ENDLESS FEATURES AND CHANGES AND SURPRISES. IT’S BEEN FUCKING MONTHS! I AM SICK OF THIS SHIT!

ANSDFKAWHOALIKWEGJFADIO;UGJT;

There goes my Q4 performance review.
> “Accomplishments? Oh, there’s lots of room here. Accomplished: Basically nothing. How embarrassing.”

Hate hate hate hate hate hate hate