What gives you the feeling of power?

When corporates try to buy you with free shit but you know your roots..

For those of you retards that post shit like:

"fuck"

"well I hate this"

or similar shit that only you understand in the hopes that someone goes and asks you what is wrong: fuck off with that attention seeking bullshit.

Seriously, even it your shit is tech dev related, just fucking post it you attention seeking shitstain.

Or fuck off all together from the app to begin with.

How to boost profits

*Now that's what I call a Hacker*

MOTHER OF ALL AUTOMATIONS

This seems a long post. but you will definitely +1 the post after reading this.

xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.

xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"

xxx: You're gonna love this

xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login.

xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time".

xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am.

xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fuckingcoffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens an SSH session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has SSHD up and running) and sends some weird gibberish to it. Looks binary. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk.

xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those

Credit: http://bit.ly/1jcTuTT

The bash scripts weren't bogus, you can find his scripts on the this github URL:
https://github.com/narkoz/...

google

In 2020 I want to achieve:
- develop a proper custom deployment tool (for job)
- get my boss to finally approve of me doing code reviews (we have 0 reviews 🙄, tiny company)
- never have to work on WordPress ever again
- develop or set up a company internal package repo (alt. to NPM)
- get a new contract
- get 3 open side projects done

(non-dev)
- buy some more furniture and make the appartment finally cozy and a happy place to live
- finally get over the negative thoughts of that antisocial ex
- go indoor climbing 3 days of the week, to get rid of those developer fat cushions... 😅

Applied to 4 companies last weekend. One of them didnt even have proper working contact forms (they all gave somekind of 503 error).

I even took the effort to just mail them my resumé, do i receive an answer that they are looking for someone with React experience.

I looked over the function a second time, no mention of React anywhere.

To whoever is working over there or ever going to work over there; i already feel sorry for you.

For coffee lovers.

Does coffee counts as a tool ?

Looking at the one star reviews when buying new tech is pretty telling.

If you struggle to string sentences together, it's no wonder you can't get shit to work.

A surprisingly honest sales site

always proud of those 10 lines 👏

Software engineer

Let's make a challenge:
If we put a vegan and an Arch user on the same room. which one will talk first announcing that he's vegan/using arch??

!rant

Here is a challenge for all programmers.

When you make a mistake, instead of backspacing or correcting, just comment out and redo. And then see the result at the end.

Challenge completerd! Pc overclocked!

-- How I feel at work lately, in terms my wife understands --

Me: There's a gas leak, we need to fix it.

Manager: Yeah, use some duct tape, here's a roll.

Me: That's not how we fix a problem like this.

Manager: Will it work to solve the problem?

Me: Only temporarily

Manager: Ask your co-worker if you need help using duct tape, he's used it before. When will it be fixed?

When someone comes to your desk and asks "did you get my slack message".... Which they sent 23 seconds ago 😒

How web developers debug their markup...

.someBox {
background-color: pink;
}

Self hosted Gitlab server :-)

Where's the who write this code

A Watch made only with css with pointer animation

pen -> https://codepen.io/flavio_amaral/...

How do I code....

Every side project ever

Developers have given semicolons a lot of power

JavaScript in nutshell.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Bit out of date but I love this JavaScript explanation!

Thank you JavaScript.

JavaScript can do anything...✌️