Just had a feedback session.

Apparently one of my colleague has a problem with me.

The irony is - I didn't even knew the guy's fucking name until now.

Relatable right?

"You're gonna lose. BUG TIME"

I think Linux is indeed Userfriendly, there are just Users which aren't Computerfriendly.

macOS treats chess like it's the System32 file in windows

Bloody idiot online retailer sent me a used SSD.

I found out with a SMART scan; I was so pissed I wanted to drive over to the store and punch the owner's lights out!

Recursion 😃

Got them 3 weeks now. Tested them before posting, here my summary:

Pro:
Arrived in 1 week (US to Germany)
Squeaky while squeezy
Nice hats
Really are helping
Stressball tastes nice

Contra:
IT'S FUCKING HARD TO FUCKING PUT THE CHRISTMAS HATS ON

Your sincerely,

A loyal customer

Are you finding a new job? take care of this.

Oh sh*t

Well I didn’t ask this paper #rebel

pRoGrAmMiNg PeNgUiN

God is one of us

The bugs have learned to hide

- Hello! Gordon's pizza?
- No sir it's Google's pizza.
- So it's a wrong number?
- No sir, Google bought it.
- OK. Take my order please ..
- Well sir, you want the usual?
- The usual? You know me?
- According to our caller ID, in the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with cheeses, sausage, thick crust
- OK! This is it
- May I suggest to you this time ricotta, arugula with dry tomato?
- No, I hate vegetables
- But your cholesterol is not good
- How do you know?
- Through the subscribers guide. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years
- Okay, but I do not want this pizza, I already take medicine
- You have not taken the medicine regularly, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 tablets at Drugsale Network
- I bought more from another drugstore
- It's not showing on your credit card
- I paid in cash
- But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement
- I have other source of cash
- This is not showing as per you last Tax form unless you got it from undeclared income source
-WHAT THE HELL? Enough! I'm sick of Google, Facebook, twitter, WhatsApp. I'm going to an Island without internet,where there is no cell phone line and no one to spy on me
- I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport as it has expired 5 weeks ago..

Well yeah. He is right!

just finished installing Netscape 7.0 on my Win 10 machine. works surprisingly better than Edge. way better... when Netscape asked me to become the default browser I had to say yes.

Not me, but a colleague of mine ordered 10,000 pens with <company>.com printed on them - but our company had a .org address.

How to vertically center in css..

That would be 🙄

┓┏┓┏┓┃
┛┗┛┗┛┃＼○／
┓┏┓┏┓┃ / Friday
┛┗┛┗┛┃ノ)
┓┏┓┏┓┃ Deploys
┛┗┛┗┛┃
┓┏┓┏┓┃
┛┗┛┗┛┃
┓┏┓┏┓┃
┃┃┃┃┃┃
┻┻┻┻┻┻

C always win :)

My Friend: Dude our Linux Server is not working anymore!

Me: What? What did you do?

My friend: Nothing I swear!

Me: But you were last on it?

My friend: Yes. I just wanted to run a bash file and needed to give it permissions.

Me : WHAT DID YOU ENTER???!

My Friend: Chill man, just this command I found on the internet
chmod -R 600 /
chown -R root:root /

Me: WHY ARE YOU EVEN IN ROOT AND GOD DAMMIT WHY ARE YOU EVEN USING SOME RANDOM COMMAND FROM THE INTERNET. YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD NOT DO THIS OR JUST ASK!

My friend: Ok I did something wrong, how can I fix it?

Me: Did you make a backup or rsync of the server?

My friend: No. I just wanted to run this file.

Me: You holocausted the server. FUCK MY LIFE

Don't be like jimmy... test before committing! 😋

Right now someone at Google is coding something useless for us to laugh at on April Fools.

The only expressions devs have

Client: There is a high severity production issue.. you need to fix urgently..

Developer: I am on the way.. Will fix it once I reach home.

Client: I don't care where you are. Fix it right now😡😡

Developer

My friend said an intern designed this UI for an internal site.

No. Just... no

Conversation with my Boss

B: Are u a hacker?
M: No
B: We need a hacker?
M: Why?
B: Because X department wants to do a hackathon.

I'm going to get message from the NSA for posting this. 😂😂

GF: I'm unable to undo my zip, help
Me: ctrl Z
GF: what!
Me: what? Oh.

(She left me the week after :'| )