She: I like people who takes risks.
He : I develop in a prod server.
She: My place or you place? 😉

Son: Dad, I lost my virginity.

*dad looks under bed*

Dad: I found it!

*pulls out PHP book*

I somehow want to make an ai that analyses porn videos and learns to distinguish the parts when he cums on her face. I would call it facial recognition.

Sorry.

No it's not AI. YOU ARE RUNNING FUCKING SQL QUERIES AND CALLING IT AI!

No it's not AI. YOU ARE RUNNING SIMPLE DATA ANALYSIS MACROS AND FUNCTIONS IN EXCEL!

Stop labelling everything as AI, you attention and investment seeking morons! @&£$¢×xo##!

*Using terminal in public*
Then I hear someone said
"Hey look, that guy is a hacker"

I've tried to joke about it, but you won't pick up the hint. I've told you about the smell, but you think it is a joke. It's not. It. Is. Not. A. Joke.

STOP MICROWAVING FISH IN THE OFFICE YOU FUCKING SOCIOPATH!

My friend is a css guy and he told me this

.illuminati {
position: absolute;
visibility: hidden;
}

Me : The website renewal bill is up and it will due in 30 days

Client : Sleep

Me : 14 days

Client : Sleep

Me : 7 days

Client : Sleep

Me : Last notice, it'll be dead tommorow if we dont pay today

Client : Sleep

*website dies*

Me : F

Client the day after suspension : Hey, we can't access the site.

Me : Play dead

***

I think i should say "email service will die if you don't pay the renewal bill" instead

based on how quick they react when shit stopped working

So HR invited us to a mandatory hour long talk on why rest and relaxation is important for work efficiency.

On a Saturday.

You can’t make this shit up.

Dear fellow developer,

You are not alone. No matter what situation you have been, you are in, you might be, there definitely are people who can share your pain and joy on similar wave length. Here at devrant.

Introvert?
Poor?
Alone?
Odd one out?
Trouble studying?
Family issues?
Debts?
Hate workplace?
Bad teacher?
Depression?
Laziness?
Forever alone?
Struggling?
Full of regrets?
Lost something?
Lost someone?
Lost?

You name it. All of us may not understand, sure. But there definitely will always be more than one person who will totally know what you are trying to say. Here at devrant only.

So whatever you are in, wherever you are and however you feel, just rant it out. 😄 And remember that we are one tap away from you.

For that devrant creators and most of all each and everyone of you have my eternal thank.

"Programmers like you develop Internet Explorer."

Applying Css be like

Error! Factory produced more than one instance of Singleton!

When you got an unsecure printer.

Source: Postize

Forget your md5 or else

Best error message ever seen

I believe this has saved us every so often...

God damnit. Just when you thought you were safe..

Struggle is real

Found in the source code of a site. Interesting.