Me, flirting with a cute girl from the finance dept. in the kitchen:

"Well, back to the grind. I've got this really nasty bug to figure out."

Her: "It's a bracket."

Me: "Hahaha."

2 hours of debugging later… it was a missing bracket in a json string. 😓

I once met a very cute client. Inner me was saying​ to go and get this girl. But company's code of conduct is completely against it that an employee shouldn't ask his/her clients out with you or date with him/her. Even my colleagues knew me as a man of criteria. So I leave
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.
.
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the Code of Conduct and now she is my gf. :)

I feel kinda sad for @dfox cause he can't rant about his stupid users here

Another attempt at trying to get support for weakening encryption recently.

An FBI spokesperson said something like 'we can put people on the moon, why can't we just create law enforcement-accessible encryption? i just don't buy it."

Fuck off and die.

When a traffic light has a merge conflict.

Seriously....

When you install a program and you realize just beat a world record.

Such dedication much wow

Ai WiLl TaKe OvEr OuR jObS.

I am the internet...

A computer science degree doesn't mean we can fix everything, it just means we can understand how everything went so terribly wrong

Life goal: go to sleep in the same day I woke up

GF: "The Internet is broken!"
Me: "WHAT?! Sound the horn! Raise the alarm! Call gondor for aid! The Internet is broken! Does the president know?! Save yourself fools!"
*skips away on pretend horse*

An SEO expert walks into a bar, pub, liquor store, brewery, alcohol, beer, whiskey, vodka

When you copy some code and select the code you want to get replaced and accidentally press Ctrl+c again so you have to copy the thing you wanted to copy again 😡

Introduce source version control tools from the very beginning.

Just watched a video where someone (in relation to the new mass surveillance law in the netherlands) asked people on the street if they had something to hide.

Everyone said no.

"Could you get your phone and show me around?"

Everyone said yes.

"May I take a look at your messages/pictures/browsing history?"

Suddenly 80 percent said no.

"But you said you had nothing to hide!"

"I'm going to take that back."

Current mood:

- Referred to manager as "Mein fuhrer" to a colleague in slack.
- Reading an email from a recruiter.

Ok, this is a rant against some devRanters.

STOP THINKING THE ANSWER TO ANY PROBLEM IS SWITCHING TO LINUX! STOP!
I am a linux user but i fucking hate people who act like dickheads to other OS users.
-A node.js problem is not a windows/linux problem
-An android studio problem is not a windows/linux problem
-A problem with website x is not a windows/linux problem
Understand the problem and give a relevant answer, don't just spit "Use Linux" everytime.

Me: *sends email 45 minutes before a meeting*.

Boss: *20 mins into meeting*, any updates about the issues found yesterday?

Me: Yep I sent an email with an update on everything.

Boss: ok great, *shares screen*, *opens email*.

Ok want to walk us through it?

Me: ...... walk through my email?

Boss: Yeah we have everyone here in the meeting.

Me: ...... yeah I included all of them on the email.

Boss: Right, but it would be good to go through it for everyone’s benefit.

Me: *Reads email word for word, from the screen share*

I will now refer to him from this day forth as “The Time Vampire”.