In the server room, no one can hear you scream.

I once met a very cute client. Inner me was saying​ to go and get this girl. But company's code of conduct is completely against it that an employee shouldn't ask his/her clients out with you or date with him/her. Even my colleagues knew me as a man of criteria. So I leave
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.
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the Code of Conduct and now she is my gf. :)

I had to say this
D-5 til the finals and I just got an email.

I GOT A JOB AT GOOGLE!

"I have no idea what this line of CSS is doing."
*Deletes line*
*Entire app falls apart*
"Better put that back..."
*ctrl z*

Piece of shit admin installed a chrome plugin which changed the new tab to no internet default image ... The whole office was pranked

I am the internet...

Ancient town Asus

i mean wtf

Ai WiLl TaKe OvEr OuR jObS.

I would die -.- xD

Tech Industry: “We need more developers!”

NewDev: “Hire me”

Tech Industry: “only experienced developers please! We don’t have time to train juniors ”

Older Dev: “Hire me”

Tech Industry: “no, you want too much money and too much time off“

Mid dev: “Hire me”

Tech Industry: “only experienced devs who are a culture fit!”

Robot dev: “Hire me”

Tech Industry: “You are Hired”

I was a freshman in highschool when I encountered the book entitled "Teach Yourself Visual Basic 6 in 21 Days"

I loved that book so much that it took me 4 years to finish it.

Ok, this is a rant against some devRanters.

STOP THINKING THE ANSWER TO ANY PROBLEM IS SWITCHING TO LINUX! STOP!
I am a linux user but i fucking hate people who act like dickheads to other OS users.
-A node.js problem is not a windows/linux problem
-An android studio problem is not a windows/linux problem
-A problem with website x is not a windows/linux problem
Understand the problem and give a relevant answer, don't just spit "Use Linux" everytime.

Just watched a video where someone (in relation to the new mass surveillance law in the netherlands) asked people on the street if they had something to hide.

Everyone said no.

"Could you get your phone and show me around?"

Everyone said yes.

"May I take a look at your messages/pictures/browsing history?"

Suddenly 80 percent said no.

"But you said you had nothing to hide!"

"I'm going to take that back."

Dad is also a dev/architect. Mom barely knows how facebook works. So essentially she thinks I'm either playing games or working hard. Dad knows I'm just playing games.

Current mood:

- Referred to manager as "Mein fuhrer" to a colleague in slack.
- Reading an email from a recruiter.

Me, flirting with a cute girl from the finance dept. in the kitchen:

"Well, back to the grind. I've got this really nasty bug to figure out."

Her: "It's a bracket."

Me: "Hahaha."

2 hours of debugging later… it was a missing bracket in a json string. 😓

To whoever stole my Microsoft Office license I will find and kill you!

You have my Word

Me: *sends email 45 minutes before a meeting*.

Boss: *20 mins into meeting*, any updates about the issues found yesterday?

Me: Yep I sent an email with an update on everything.

Boss: ok great, *shares screen*, *opens email*.

Ok want to walk us through it?

Me: ...... walk through my email?

Boss: Yeah we have everyone here in the meeting.

Me: ...... yeah I included all of them on the email.

Boss: Right, but it would be good to go through it for everyone’s benefit.

Me: *Reads email word for word, from the screen share*

I will now refer to him from this day forth as “The Time Vampire”.

boss' revenge

So here https://devrant.com/rants/1349878/... posted prank played on boss. For 3days I been freaking out what boss will do as revenge (check env and alias everytime I login). Then yesterday happened his revenge.

Was doing testing on my programs & sometime some programs would run but sometime it get segmentation fault. Seemed random first but then saw a pattern... everytime I get segmentation fault and I run again it would be fine. Checked alias... nothing, /etc/crontab, env, ps -ef... nothing seemed off, cksum of my binary... correct. Fuck! "What my boss did?" asked myself. Finally .5hrs later I saw entry in my id's crontab but then 1min later it's gone from my crontab

From there figured out how boss did it:
1) He replaced ntpd with his C program that runs in background creating an entry in my crontab every few mins
2) The entry in my crontab set to run /foobar/ulittleprick.sh every 2mins
3) ulittleprick.sh picks random binary owned by me, rename binary.name to .binary.name.nitwit and create a script named binary.name
4) Then ulittleprick.sh will remove itself from cron

What the generated binary.name script does? Sleep for 2 secs, echo "Segmentation fault", then rename back .binary.name.nitwit to binary.name. It even exits with status 139! I want to cry! Worst part is comment in 2nd line of ulittleprick.sh... kill me now