*Starts devRant.*

Notification count: 73.

Where the hell do I even start? o.O

Another attempt at trying to get support for weakening encryption recently.

An FBI spokesperson said something like 'we can put people on the moon, why can't we just create law enforcement-accessible encryption? i just don't buy it."

Fuck off and die.

It happened! It finally happened.

I got to use the XOR operator today, for the first time in my 10 years of development.

Now I feel complete. I am senior developer now!

Customer support story time: (swearing in Dutch because it sounds more fun but it's general swearing so no translation needed I think (will translate the non obvious parts)

Me: good morning, how can I help you?
Client: hello, I have a question for you.
Me: go ahead!
Client: alright so.... one sec, let me turn off my music.
Client: hey Google
.
.
.
Client: hey Google
.
Client: Heeeey Gooooooogle
.
Client: HEY GOOGLE, GODVERREDOMME
.
Me: 😆
.
Client: REAGEER GODVERDOMME. "HEY GOOOOGLE"
.
.
Client: VIES VUIL TYFUS DING, LUISTEREN. HEEEEEY GOOOOOOGLE
.
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Client: JA GODVERREROMME, LUISTER GEWOON, FUCKING KUT DING. *SHOUTS WITH ANGRY VOICE* "HEY GOOGLE HALLOOOO LUISTEEEEEREEEEEN" (oh for fucks sake, LISTEN fucking piece of shit)
Me: *desperately trying to keep it together*
Client: IK DOE HET ZELF WEL JEZUS GODDOMME *FOOTSTEPS, MUSIC STOPS* (Translation: I'll do it myself, fucking hell)
.
.
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Client: finally, sorry for that 😅
Me: *still trying to control myself* no problem!

The saddest error message I've ever seen. Poor LinearLayout 🙁

"please wait 5 seconds 'till you can continue with the call" *additional charges apply

Logins should be unique

Machine Learning messed up!

Samsung got that one right 😂😂😂

That marketing guy is in big trouble.

The good spaghetti code stuff

Missing a Google internship interview because of the timezone

My dad picked up programming in Java as a hobby when I started my own dev company. We pair program on the weekends! 😁

I feel kinda sad for @dfox cause he can't rant about his stupid users here

Love your job, not your company.

What advice would I give a new dev?
"Learn COBOL"

No one specified that it had to be 'good advice'

In the server room, no one can hear you scream.

I had to say this
D-5 til the finals and I just got an email.

I GOT A JOB AT GOOGLE!

"I have no idea what this line of CSS is doing."
*Deletes line*
*Entire app falls apart*
"Better put that back..."
*ctrl z*

Piece of shit admin installed a chrome plugin which changed the new tab to no internet default image ... The whole office was pranked

Near near 😂😉