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-Some run marathons, I run Python
-Some have energy drinks, I have Java
-Some fight in MMA, I fight with CSS
-Some see new places, I C new Places();
-Some are quick, I am Swift
-Some go camping, I Go Compiling
-Some can judge objectively, I can judge Objective-c
-Some climb mountains, I Scala Structures
-Some live adventurous lives, I live a BASIC one
-Some go ball, I COBOL
-Some watercolor, I Pascal
-Some look for diamonds and emeralds, I look for Ruby and Perl
-Some write novels, I TypeScript
-Some banter, I SmallTalk20 -
My employer has a dev studio in Cali.
The office is gigantic.
It has amenities.
It has a stocked fridge full of iced coffee, energy drinks, and apparently wine.
All the devs have totally enviable hardware.
And they probably earn twice what I do, or at least 50% more.
Yet they write absolute shit, never test their code, and push broken updates every day, often marked as "ready for final testing." Their codebase is full of hacks and guesses and stale cruft and worst practices. I wrote a rant recently about one of their fuckups, which involved 18 million Facebook errors per. day. So that should give you some idea as to the quality of their code, and their level of can't-be-bothered.
Again, they make 50%-100% more than I do.
Their whiny lead dev is bloody lazy when it comes to building things correctly, and totally prefers to half-ass everything and complain instead. He probably makes 150% of what I do, doing like 25% as much work, and maybe 10% as well. Doesn't quite compare though, as he's a Unity dev, not a backend dev. So his work isn't as critical.
akagdkdafavskakeuxbfh.
Bloody pisses me off.
"But their cost of living is higher!"
THEY SHOULDN'T EVEN BE EMPLOYED.22 -
Me: Coffee has more coffee than energy drinks.
Coworker: You're right, coffee does have more coffee than energy drinks.
Me: I meant caffeine!19 -
C'mon guys! 80 hours, 70 hours, 40 hours... Are you humans or fucking robots?
Once I stayed awake 36 hours helped by energy drinks and I could barely remember my name.
I can't really imagine how somebody could write useful code with such a huge sleep deprivation.14 -
New devRant energy drinks we'll be handing out at our booth at Techcrunch Disrupt NYC next Tuesday. Swing by and meet Team devRant (me and @dfox)!
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Sleep less than 6 hours every night and "compensate" the following day with huge quantities of coffee and energy drinks.6
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I had a small heart attack yesterday due to the unhealthy amount of energy drinks i consume so... I guess dont be like me guys22
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After 16 years of porn addiction, I've finally realized that the only way to stop any addiction, is to take control of your mind. Nobody can help you, except make you realize the source of the problem or factors that cause it.
It's strange to describe how the mind works, sometimes we need stuff in our lives because we need to spend time on something to avoid the emptiness.
Free yourself from the things you love the most, in my case I love playing video games, it helps me feel complete, but in all honesty, I don't need it. I like drinking energy drinks, but in the end, I don't need that too.
My point is that once you find a way to deal with the things you can't live without, you find a way to live with it.
The only reason I watch porn is to reduce stress or have something "fun" to do.
As Bruce Lee once said: Be formless, be shapeless, be water my friend.
I like to think that he means to let the urge flow within you, but don't let it control you.15 -
I as the "coffeedrinker" stopped drinking coffee and energy drinks. I do not want to be anyone's boss but if you think you can live without them, do it. I am fairly young and after a long period of frequent consumption ( 1 coffee or drink per day), I was waking up at nights or struggling during the days from constant heart pains. Now 2 months later this phenomenon happens seldom and I feel better and more refreshed after my sleeping. I know this is irrelevant but I know fellow devs that overconsume these kind of drinks. At least if you can limit your dose! :) I just want everyone to be healthy and happy! Have a nice day! ♥58
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You know, I am getting really fucking irate posting them rants about how shitty my job is.
I'm more than fucking competant, but this company is turning me into a blithering, raging, frothing maniac.
I am sitting doing my devOps at the moment. On top of that I am the network admin, the sys admin, the sec admin, the fucking fuck admin (you get the point) and now I am being told to go out and work in the field because "The technician is busy with calls, and doesn't have time". These calls are ALL FUCKING PRINTER CALLS. SET UP USERS TO PRINT AND FUCKING SCAN.
I am not being a shithead by saying no. I have spent the last year or so doing favours for these bastards, I don't get any compensation in any form for it, and it is just making my life hell. The reason I went into devOps is so that I don't have to fucking deal with shit like this. I spent years in the field, and I fucking hated it. I was good at what I did, but I fucking hated it.
Now I am back there. They earn more than i do, those printer techs, but I am doing their fucking work for them. I have even made them simple little fucking scripts so that 90% of their work is done in two clicks.
Fucksakes. Now my motherfucking right shift key doesn't want to operate properly. Been using this keyboard for about 6 years now, and now it decides to fuck out. Fuck.
As standing, I am fucking sick and fucking tired. I am drinking energy drinks and mass amounts of coffee just to stay functional (because I sit up until 12AM trying to get through all my work - everyday of the week). Reported to tech director, doesnt give a single fuck. "Stick around, things will get better".
Yeah, fuck you.
Seriously thinking about freelancing.
Don't know if it pays well though.3 -
Had a miserable evening yesterday. Me and my gf planned going out around 9pm to this movie with 2 other couples. Movie was kinda okay and we finished around midnight and went over to our apartment for drinks. We had lots of snacks and drinks ready, other couples brought some drinks.
Evening was kinda weird, guests were mainly just ranting about their work and household life and 2 hours in they started asking each other wether they should go home. In the end they left around 3am. I felt kinda defeated: some effort went into planning everything, and in the end I didnt feel much of a connection to them.
Maybe everyone was tired after a workday + late movie + drinks after the movie. But idk I expected more from people in late 20s. When planning we had two options: meeting on saturday or friday and they chose friday.
Anyways I guess either we are getting older or we just need to meet less often and more early in order not to run out of energy and stuff to talk about.7 -
When the junior dev puts 4 Monster energy drinks in the freezer because he "thought it was turned off".4
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Just got Caffiene/energy drink vapes and they work like a charm within like five minutes. Productivity 💯 sleep 032
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All I want in life is to sit at a desk, drink hot coco or energy drinks, program and slowly become insane, because my code won't work2
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The traits that compile to form a programmer
-Not good at naming things
-People started asking for you to fix electronics regardless of what you tell them You’re actually studying/good at
-Procrastination through the roof
-Lives off of Coffee, POP, Energy drinks, or what ever source of caffeine.13 -
Getting a lot of headaches? Try replacing coffee/energy drinks with ice cold H2O first thing in the morning. It works after a week and it shocks your body into waking up faster.2
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Finals szn....
The time where I down 2 energy drinks in half an hour and look at math for 8 fucking hours straight7 -
Thinking of (the possible myth?) that phenomenon where you can ingest small doses of poison to build up an immunity over time, I'm convinced energy drinks are released by the government to build up our immunity to toxic bullshit because holy fuck I have never felt good during or after drinking one of those fucking things.5
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Coworker: I SSH into my liver every now and again. It's mostly to make sure it's kept up and running because I've blocked all the other ports to it. Once my kidneys can' handle the alcohol and energy drinks I'll start enabling cookies on it to help filter out that traffic.
Weird conversations with my coworker -
I need to pull a few rabbits out of my arse on Monday and I don't have enough executive function points to do it all 🥺2
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I’ve had to fix code that was “working just fine” until someone decided to “make a small change.” Programming is like a never-ending game of whack-a-mole 🐭. But hey, at least we have our clever jokes and endless supply of energy drinks 🥤 to keep us going. 😂3
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My mind is so tired that I am unable to concentrate on people rants. I guess some sleep, couple of energy drinks and coffee would make me ready to work later tonight. See ya devs.
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What do you drink while you're programming?
Don't say "coffee, energy drinks", post the model/type.
I'm from Spain, and usually I drink this: http://coffee.wikia.com/wiki/...28 -
Recently I feel like energy drinks have become my body's primary resource.
1.Monster
2.Oxygen
3.Water
4.Food
Please somebody, teach me how to life.1 -
Oh shit I've had way to much caffeine 🤤
Heart is full on racing I haven't had any for a few weeks and I just had 2 relentless... High caffeine energy drinks
Oh fuck.... Loud music and hype might help !?
Anyone? -
Just found out that vending machine in my new workplace has this cheap Chinese noodle soups. I understand point of energy drinks and croissants but this... why?
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For the final week of a group project at university, the project members and I ended up staying in the computer labs pretty much for 5 days. Another project group did the same (to this day we're still good friends). Everyone brought in their PCs from home and we ended up sleeping in the labs overnight. None of us went to classes as it was pretty full on crunch time to get the project done.
When it was time to eat, we each took turns to go on a food run for everyone, like getting McDonalds, or getting everyone coffee or energy drinks. Of course it wasn't all just work. At the time Quake 4 was just released and we had some pretty epic matches at 3am. -
If i’m having a hard day i tend to put on some relaxing music. Often acoustic or even just some meditation music.
If i notice i go crazy because of the chat i close it completely.
Also there are big 500ml cans of energy drinks here in the office that can come to good use -
Nodes Reach
I will google my last error message
I cannot tell where this conviction comes from. Whatever birthed it is a mystery to me, and yet the thought clings like a virus, blooming behind my eyes and taking deep root within my mind. It almost feels real enough to spread corruption to the rest of my body, like a true sickness.It will happen soon, within the coming nights of pizza and energy drinks. I will google my last error message, and when my brothers turn on thier computers, my questions will be scattered over stack overflow with one accursed tag
Nodejs.
Even the name twists my blood until burning oil beats through my veins. I feel anger now, hot and heavy, flowing through my heart and filtering into my keyboard like boiling poison.My fingers stretch out. I am strong, born only to code and debug software. I am pure, googling the most obscure of error messages, trained to break down problems and use console.log. I am wrath incarnate, living only to code until finaly my program runs.I am a programmer in the Eternal Crusade to forge humanity's mastership of the code.Yet strength, purity and wrath will not be enough.
I will google my last error message
My Nodejs application won't run.
*Watch the Original !! by Richard Boylan here*
https://youtu.be/1D4jr-0_COg -
RECLAIMING YOUR LOST BITCOIN-VISIT RAPID DIGITAL RECOVERY ADVANCE STRATEGIES
The glow of RGB lights still haunts me. There I was, mid-stream, hyping up a Fortnite squad when an email pretending to be a sponsorship opportunity with the subject line "ENERGY DRINK COLLAB!!! *" appeared on my second monitor. I clicked. Big mistake. By the time my chat spammed "*SCAM ALERT" in neon caps, a trojan had already ghosted my Bitcoin wallet, $320,000 gone, poof, like a noob disconnecting mid-game. My facecam caught the exact moment my soul left my body: jaw open, headset tilted, background of anime posters judging me silently. The VOD blew up. Of course it did...Email: rapid digital recovery (@) execs. com
Pandemonium erupted. Donation alerts became panic emojis. My mods DM'd links to "HOW TO FIX CRYPTO THEFT" amidst banning trolls. My wallet? A barren wasteland. My DMs? A cemetery of "*F"s and crypto-bros pitching recovery scams. Then, a lifeline—a chatter named *xX_CryptoNinja_69 typed, "RAPID DIGITAL RECOVERY. THEY CLAPPED A HACKER FOR MY DOGE ONCE." Desperate, I Googled them mid-stream, muting to scream into a pillow...Whatsapp: +1 4 14 80 71 4 85.
Rapid Digital Recovery’s team responded like NPCs scripted for heroics. “Send us the malware file,” they said. “**And your wallet logs. We’ll handle the rest.” For 12 days, they reverse-engineered the trojan, dissecting its code like speedrunners cracking a glitch. The virus, it turned out, was a knockoff ransomware dubbed “CryptoKrush” (its dev had left a “HACK THE PLANET!!” Easter egg in the code, cringe). Rapid Digital Recovery’s squad traced its path, resurrecting private keys from registry fragments and backup clouds I’d forgotten existed. The return stream was record-breaking. I rebooted my rig, wallet restored, and titled the stream "HOW I UNBRICKED $320K (AND MY CAREER)." Chatters donated Bitcoin out of solidarity, and schadenfreude. Even my rival streamer, DrL33tGamer, raided me with 10k viewers. Rapid Digital Recovery? They viewed anonymously and left a sub with the message: "GG EZ.
These internet Gandalf's didn't just fix a hack—they authored the greatest plot twist in my online existence. Now, my new website, Stream Vault, runs on a server guarded like Fort Knox, and I vet sponsors like the CIA. That fake energy drink company? Its domain now points to a Rickroll....Telegram: h t t p s: // t. me /Rapiddigitalrecovery1
If your crypto gets pawned by a script kiddie, skip the rage quit. Ping Rapid Digital Recovery. They're the ultimate cheat code for catastrophe. Just maybe have a malware scanner in closer proximity than your energy drinks next time.
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Hell is: having a high tolerance to caffeine. Meaning coffee and energy drinks do nothing for me.
I'm so sleepy.6
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