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Search - "marx"
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My GF just selected all files on her harddrive and clicked "Open".
The look at her face when she figured out what she have done.
BONUS: She restarts her computer, and upon start she selects Yes to the "Your computer shutdown unexpected, would you like to re-open the applications" popup 😂12 -
It's the biggest satisfaction to know that Wix means wank in German!
"why not do it yourself" just adds to it.6 -
Today I was 25 years old, asking for a raise or a opportunity to reach the next level of my career.
My department manager simply said:
"I'm sorry, but in terms of salary you have already reached the end of your career."
Bye then :)34 -
Every job description out there:
" JUNIOR XY position.
Requirements: 50 years experience of Assembly, Java and Masonry, HTML, cloud based computing and artificial intelligence. Must be able to write algorithms like Hummingbird. Fluent in English, Mandarin and Latin. Must have five doctor and two Bachelor degrees. Experience in leading a Fortune 500 company benefitial.
Renumeration: 5 rice grains"6 -
Sometimes I have such little idea what I'm to do or doing that I print code to 'analyze' it fully...6
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DevRant makes me really proud how well developers can act together as a group. Makes me think what we could accomplish if we would take all the world's developers and programmers to one place and make our own country. Our currency will be devCoin. World domination follows shortly afterwards11
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How my lecturer drilled JS syntax into us:
Write this:
var x = document.element;
x.value = 10;
Instead of this:
document.element.value = 10;
His reasoning:
"You make the cake in the kitchen, you don't put icing on it on your way to present the cake"4 -
That moment when you're finally getting your user registration and login system up and running!
As a web dev student I feel like I have accomplished something :)10 -
Had my pure PHP web app rejected on a market platform because I didn't use a framework..
BITCH IT WORKS PERFECTLY WITHOUT A FUCKING FRAMEWORK, IF YOU WOULD HAVE TESTED IT YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN THAT!22 -
I feel terrible making $3,634/year at my current job in Nigeria with all my skills and experience.
I've applied for jobs in Germany and had a couple of interviews but they fell through.
It's difficult been a software engineer in Nigeria. 😔19 -
I recently started working with CI/CD in gitlab. I don't know why I had such a hard time getting it to work. I left it hanging for another day. Yesterday, before I went to sleep, I merged to master branch. On waking up I can't explain my happiness when I saw my pipeline... 😀6
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Started part time job at a company, had to log my time on timesheets. Said fuck this and now the whole company logs their hours on a custom web based time logging system which I built.5
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#1 life lesson learned from coding:
Don't work on projects for the government or any authority EVER!6 -
!rant
I have come to realize, after a long time in programming and using libraries, that spending time to read their documentation saves me time in the long run2 -
Last night I had a panic attack and woke up in cold sweats because in the dream I had I was constantly using the wrong variables in the wrong places...
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Secretly installed Automate app on my friend's Android phone to mess with him. (For those who don't know, with Automate you can automate anything on an Android device).
Made a 'flow' that would read his incoming sms's, and send an email to me with his exact location if I sent him an SMS saying 'where are you?'.
Was funny to mess with him and tell him his exact location even though we were miles apart.
Cleared it up for him a while later but it made me feel like #hackerman8 -
I have this login page on my app. A user (a number of them actually) told me that they can't log in because the app tells them to "login in later". 😨
Is my button for deciding to login later so poorly designed that it looks like a message?
And the only way you can log in later is by pressing the frikin button, how does a person, with a smart phone tell me for the second time that its telling them to log in later12 -
Get ready for a awesome conspiracy theory/ WhatsApp forward :D i like how people are coming with new stuff every minute of their boredom . Makes you ponder:
====================================
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
How to dominate the world quickly?
THE GREAT CHINESE STAGE
1. Create a virus and the antidote.
2. Spread the virus.
3. A demonstration of efficiency, building hospitals in a few days. After all, you were already prepared, with the projects, ordering the equipment, hiring the labor, the water and sewage network, the prefabricated building materials and stocked in an impressive volume.
4. Cause chaos in the world, starting with Europe.
5. Quickly plaster the economy of dozens of countries.
6. Stop production lines in factories in other countries.
7. Cause stock markets to fall and buy companies at a bargain price.
8. Quickly control the epidemic in your country. After all, you were already prepared.
9. Lower the price of commodities, including the price of oil you buy on a large scale.
10. Get back to producing quickly while the world is at a standstill. Buy what you negotiated cheaply in the crisis and sell more expensive what is lacking in countries that have paralyzed their industries.
After all, you read more Confucius than Karl Marx.
PS: Before laughing, read the book by Chinese colonels Qiao Liang and Wang Xiangsui, from 1999, “Unrestricted Warfare: China’s master plan to destroy America”, on Amazon, then we talk. It's all there.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Worth pondering..
Just Think about this...
How come Russia & North Korea are totally free of Covid- 19? Because they are staunch ally of China. Not a single case reported from this 2 countries. On the other hand South Korea / United Kingdom / Italy / Spain and Asia are severely hit. How come Wuhan is suddenly free from the deadly virus?
China will say that their drastic initial measures they took was very stern and Wuhan was locked down to contain the spread to other areas. I am sure they are using the Anti dode of the virus.
Why Beijing was not hit? Why only Wuhan? Kind of interesting to ponder upon.. right? Well ..Wuhan is open for business now. America and all the above mentioned countries are devastated financially. Soon American economy will collapse as planned by China. China knows it CANNOT defeat America militarily as USA is at present
THE MOST POWERFUL country in the world. So use the virus...to cripple the economy and paralyse the nation and its Defense capabilities. I'm sure Nancy Pelosi got a part in this. . to topple Trump. Lately President Trump was always telling of how GREAT American economy was improving in all fronts. The only way to destroy his vision of making AMERICA GREAT AGAIN is to create an economic havoc. Nancy Pelosi was unable to bring down Trump thru impeachment. ....so work along with China to destroy Trump by releasing a virus. Wuhan,s epidemic was a showcase. At the peak of the virus epidemic. ..
China's President Xi Jinping...just wore a simple RM1 facemask to visit those effected areas. As President he should be covered from head to toe.....but it was not the case. He was already injected to resist any harm from the virus....that means a cure was already in place before the virus was released.
Some may ask....Bill Gates already predicted the outbreak in 2015...so the chinese agenda cannot be true. The answer is. ..YES...Bill Gates did predict. .but that prediction is based on a genuine virus outbreak. Now China is also telling that the virus was predicted well in advance. ....so that its agenda would play along well to match that prediction. China,s vision is to control the World economy by buying up stocks now from countries facing the brink of severe ECONOMIC COLLAPSE. Later China will announce that their Medical Researchers have found a cure to destroy the virus. Now China have other countries stocks in their arsenal and these countries will soon be slave to their master...CHINA.
Just Think about it ...
The Doctor Who declared this virus was also Silenced by the Chinese Authorities...14 -
First day of holiday - manager messages that about small issues, ignored that.
Second day of holiday - received a message that everything is going wrong. Apparently I can't take any holidays as the world will burn in the meantime...3 -
Analog mail still works!
Stickers finally arrived! Thanks @dfox and @trogus for this amazing community !1 -
Happened in December, had devs from "big" companies coming over to our start up and doing a sprint with us. Very humbling 🙂2
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My boss wants me to make a web application in .NET, it's like asking a Android developer to build the app for iOS as well.
Note: Im a PHP developer4 -
Windows:
Step 1: install my c++ library from www.scammysite.be
Step 2: extract the zip and open scammyexe.exe
Step 3: ....
Step 304: do three backflips
???
Step 404: it should now be installed on your machine
Linux:
Step 1: sudo apt-get install coolsoftware
Hmmm....3 -
so i have to practice on codewars for homework and my code.. doesnt work! what a surprise. i was wondering if anyone could tell me whats wrong since yall are professionals. its probably a stupid mistake. this is the challenge: Implement a method that excepts three integer values a, b, c. The message return true if a triangle can be built with the sides of given length and false in any other case.16
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When you see a monitor with this error message on it:
Alert: Keyboard not found.
Press F12 to continue.
😂1 -
Started coding HTML, CSS and JavaScript as part of my multimedia design studies. Lecturer would throw up a simple 960 page on the projector, said "make this" and left the room. Being thrown in the deep end is definitely a way to learn that taught me a lot
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The sorting button on devRant's feed page is just Gilfoyle's tattoo twice, once upside down like Dinesh says.3
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Lesson of the day:
<If a section of your code keeps on bringing errors, just comment it. The code is likely to work./>4 -
Been working for a guy who seems not to care about his employees... Haven't been paid for the last 3 months of 2016.
Now my internet bill comes tomorrow I have nothing. What a way to begin 201717 -
back in 2011, when a friend of mine was learning C and he told me he can control a micro controller remotely, and he actually showed me a video of that happening, that's when I decided to be a developer
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Hello Guys, I am in a dilemma whether I should update my Laptop to Windows 10 Fall Creator Update or not. Any honest opinions or recommendations from Devs?
(posed to Windows Users)6 -
me: builds a python-script to transport data in .json-format into a config-file written in .xml for a coworker
my boss: "I am glad you have earned yourself a reputation as the 'programmer' in our team" -
One of the key principles in Life is acceptance. I just wish some of the codes could understand this....
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Redux is absolute fucking insanity. There is no way in hell there isn't a better way to do this. Absolutely unintelligible, convoluted piece of garbage.5
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Now why would you set Content-type application/json as a response header if your response is plaintext? 🤔
Have people no respect for http headers anymore?2 -
Clock: Friday, 15:45 PM - just go home now, idiot!
My stupid ass: Makes substantial changes to the code I have been working on and breaks it.4 -
Been playing a Skyrim modlist (Living Skyrim 4) with a ton of mods in the game. I have only small idea of what mods are in there. My first quest from the Companions was to beat up a pot grower outside Whiterun. Then later on I ran into Jarl Marx. All he did was criticize me so I killed him and enchanted his clothes with Fortify Barter.
https://reddit.com/r/skyrim/...
This modlist has been a lot of fun.1 -
How come so many dev teams are working with blindfolds on?
We have two projects that communicate using endpoints. One of them throws a parsing error with some data. Cool, just give the calling project some debug references and attach a debugger right?
Apparently not. I haven't figured out why we can't do that, it seems like the project only works using nuget references so we never get any debug info for the other project.
Asked around how we usually solve issues like this. The answer: "idk the codegen always works, so we never solve issues like this".
What.
It "always works". Except now it doesn't. And you've never tried debugging it? Instead just working with blindfolds on trying random shit until it does?
This is far from the first time I've heard this on a team. That and "we don't need error codes, if something goes wrong we have to fix it either way". I'm losing faith in the dev world... -
Github Down - This is just another rant about Github being down.
[Imagine Github's Rainbow Unicorn Here] -
!rant
I'm dreaming of a web language that is as close to the English language as possible.
Imagine:
<html>
nav bar with 5 links
slider with 3 images that runs automatically
Section with 3 images next to each other
Paragraph with first word in red
Footer with menu and sign up form
</html>
This would be the shit!6 -
imagine the guys in the datacenter are switching out power distribution units - and suddenly your productive database cluster reboots :)1
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Me to my peer: "Yo the code that they sent us works but it sucks and is insecure"
My peer: "Yo that sucks they should definitely change that, go submit a ticket so they change it up, that really sucks!"
Me: *prepares ticket, gets it checked by peer:
My peer: YOoOoO U cAnT tElL tHeM tO cHaNgE oR tElL tHeM hOw tO wRiTe tHeIr CoDe ThAt ThEy DeLiVeR tO uS!1!1!eleven
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classics1 -
My boss tells sets the tasks, and supervisor assigns them to the dev team. It should be as smooth as that simple sentence, but it just isn't. Boss sucks at communicating his ideas clear enough, so we're left scrambling on ourselves trying to guess and develop what he needs, and when we deliver it, boss says it's not what he asked! It's my first job as a self-taught frontend developer, but the lack of structure and clear objectives of the project got me so stressed out that I'm thinking about looking for another job.
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Joined a new project.
The core of the application has references to pretty much everything in the entire codebase, both api and database layer.
On top of that it uses extension methods instead of mappers or normal methods on classes in order to "keep classes short", so many methods are unnecessarily hidden from view.
Tried to fix it, got told to revert back to the old version because "it might be wrong, but at least it's wrong everwhere". Guess I'm making bolognese for dinner.1 -
I started with Java in March 2013, then C, C++,C#, which were done just for the sake of knowing them. 3 years later I do make apps for android. :-)
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My first experience with a computer was actually sitting on my dad's lap and watching him play world of warcraft - and damn, that hit hard1
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I am a stupid monkey that spilled coffee all over his keyboard, and now it seems to be EOL.
Looking for some "inspiration" - what keyboards (and mice, might also just buy a whole new set) are you guys using?9 -
imagine you "manage" your applications firewall rules by writing them into spreadsheets and sending them to the fw-admins to implement them
imagine they don't implement exactly what you tell them / implement rules for you that you did not ask for
also imagine it is crucial that you have a reliable source of information about what firewall rules are and are not implemented for your application, because the firewall-guys cant simply check and tell you what rules are implemented for your application
:o2